Dear CaMama and Flopsie,
Thank you for your kind offers of support. Flopsie, I did not take offence to your post. In fact it brought a smile to my face, imagining you jumping in the pool and swimming to the sides. You should write a book, your words were very descript
ive and brought me joy.
CaMama just knowing that you are offering to lend an ear also brings me joy and warms my heart.
I just simply can not explain quickly what is going on. I wake up every day and try to fight this horrible depression. I want so desperately to return to work, to be able to clean the house and cook meals without incredible pain!!! Anyway maybe shot number 4 will do the trick. I want to feel like the lady in the movie that they send you with the Humira.
CaMama I know what you mean about
the risk of getting sick while on a biologic.
about
a year ago I had an argument with my best friend of over 20 years. We went to University together and she was also my family doctor.
After she put me on a strong narcotic she informed me that I had to choose between her being my friend or my doctor. I lost my temper and said I wanted neither. I never should have done that. I grieve the loss of her friendship and she now has moved 5000 miles away. No forwarding address. However she did give me my medical records.
This summer I spent some time perusing my medical records. I noticed that over ten years ago a doctor had suggested I have follow up done on some tests he had done which showed something about
early stage squamous something. So this summer I had phlegm samples sent to my doc. They came back showing I have a staph infection in my lungs. He told me it would be difficult to treat and I would have to stop Humira and go on antibiotics for anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months. He also told me I could choose to stay on the Humira and deal with this once I felt a bit more mobile.
Well I chose the Humira. I do not know if that is a mistake or not. I will give the Humira a few more shots.
It is a big decision. I hate having to make decisions, yet alone health ones. I mean I know nothing about
any of this. When I had my best friend for a family doc, I was really spoiled. She would have researched this and given me the best medical advice.
So I understand your fears. For the time being, I am just taking a strong cough medication to help my lungs not get so congested. I know you were very sick b4, so no wonder you are scared. I guess it is a bit like a balance scale. What is worse, aching everywhere from arthritis or possibly developing an illness because of compromised immune system? It is especially hard when you have young children. All I can suggest is that if you try the enbrel you can always come off of it if you get sick and I will pray that you do not pick up anything.
Well I just want to add if you feel like venting feel free to email me and maybe we can both somehow not feel so down.
I know for me a big part of it is I wish I was single again. However I can not articulate all the reasons, it is just too long and complicated.
Take care. Thank you both of you, it is amazing how much better I feel knowing I have friends.
Judy/Effie