Feeling blue/depression

I see a psychologist for depression and anxiety due to my multiple illnesses.
I also take Paxil.

My doctor specializes in chronic pain patients and how to cope with the stresses. It seems to help me a lot.

Hello Don, saw your post & wanted to share my experience with you as I have traveled your path. Like you worked all of my life & was very active life outside of work.

Crohns disease turned my world upside down & pulled the rug out from under me. I too had to go on SSD at the age of 49. Never in my wildest imagination did I ever think something like that would happen to me. I was very ill & add depression to the mix I ended up crashing & burning.

I saw my PCP who has taken care of me for years. He immediately put me on Lexapro with the condition I would go see a psychologist. He made the referral & I was not the most receptive one to this but I kept my word & went. The first visit was strained for me because I just had difficulty talking about what was happening to my life & she knew this.

She explained to me all of these thoughts & feelings that was consuming me was grief. I was grieving for my old life, I wanted to turn back the clock so to speak. People associate grief with death only & that is not true. It was a real eye opener to say the least. Any kind of catastrophic event that affects our very being takes a huge toll on us in every way. What I learned with her help, it was like peeling an onion, removing the skin a layer at a time.

Like you I had no interest in anything, nothing. I stopped seeing & talking to friends & was withdrawn in so many ways. Because I was such a routine type person she suggested that I go back to my old routine in the mornings. Simple stuff like once I got my shower in the morning, rather than put on another pair of pajamas go ahead & dress & do my hair. By doing this I could not use the excuse of not being dressed to leave the house & go somewhere even if it was walking around the garden center at Home Depot or Lowes.

We added things over time that I could physically do. It took a lot of talk time with her but she was able to help me see there was so much I could do even with my limitations. I do not like the word disabled, instead I say I am limited, lol. I started with small projects at first that I could handle. It was rewarding to finish something once again.

I ended up going off the Lexapro. I kept getting what I called head zaps if I did not take it at the same time every single day. They were very annoying too. It also did not lift the depression completely. I happen to mention this to my pain mgt dr & she immediately took me off of it. According to her that certain narcotics do not work as well with all antidepressants. She put me on Effexor & it really made a difference. It smoothed out my rough edges for sure.

Rest assured, not all anti-depressants are created equal you need to find what works for you. Anyway, just wanted to say hi.

Take care.

Yes, the medication helped with the depression, the combination of two things were a great help.

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the personal experiences with this. I do plan to find a Doctor and go speak with them. My Rheumy advised this because she feels that they are certainly much better versed in dealing with issues and especially medications. I am hoping that maybe I can find someone who specializes in disability or chronic illness but we will see.

It is definitely a big change and honestly I probably should have gone on disability a few years ago but I tried to soldier through and hoped that one of the meds would kick in.

I have been looking for things to give me some sense of purpose but it is pretty hard to find something that will accommodate people like us. I never know know from one day to the next or even hour to the next if I will have the energy to do much of anything. Trying to do simple household chores is hit or miss. My meds help but I deal with pain and inflammation every day. Its just a matter of how bad these days.

I am going to see about doing some volunteer work with my church maybe at our local soldiers home. I enjoy visiting and spending time with with Veterans. The nice thing about that too is that they are very understanding of my illness.

Hi Poppie, No, I haven't yet. We made a change recently to another church and so I am still trying to figure things out there if that makes sense.

My Rehumy put me back on Trazadone for help sleeping at night and it has really helped. I have more energy now and it has in turn helped me to get going with things I have been wanting to do but just have not had the energy or drive to get going on. I think that it is a mild anti anxiety RX as well but I am on such a low dose I dont know how it would affect me in that regard.

I really like to piddle around in my yard and so I think that once we begin to see a change and the weather starts lightening up I will start gardening. This will give me something to do each day and I have some control over it. I planted some flowers today actually. It made me feel really good.

It is hard to adjust to life these days when the times when I want to meet a friend and just go for lunch but by the time I have driven to where we are to meet I am wiped out. I feel like I have very little control over much of anything. Its also very hard to keep up relationships with others when I can't make plans or have to change them last minute due to being flared up.

I could also volunteer at our local Elementary. I did this a few years ago and it was really rewarding and there was no set schedule so it was perfect for me.

Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot. -Don

Hi Beth, thanks. Yeah the elementary would be a great thing to do. I definitely enjoyed my time with the kids there as well and the hours are great, they are just thrilled to have anyone come and help out. My kind of schedule!

Hey, I like to pop over here every now and then...Don, I know what you mean about arranging to meet up with people and then feeling tired before you even see them...I get it. Gardening is a great way to get exercise and appreciate the simple things in life, and years ago I helped out at a local school and found it very rewarding, it just involved sitting and listening to children read for an hour..it was good.

I thought I should mention that I have failed Methotrexate! I have had to stop taking it as I had a serious allergic reaction to it when I tried to increase the dose...I have now been given Leflunomide...so I dont know how thats going to work, and I really cant take anything for another week or so until I feel better...

Thanks for the update, Don. Spring always helps me to find renewed joy in living. I do hope you are able to see a therapist at some point as well.
I also believe in the power of prayer, so please add my hubby to your list. He has terminal stage 4 prostate cancer. I am on that forum a lot. I'll add the signature line with his specifics.
Thank you!
Beth

I have had RA for 34 years... a long journey. Around 40 years old, my rheumatologist at the time suggested an Anti-depressant. You know, I never felt as if I actually had depression but the fact is that every day I was on edge, in pain, and needed to take good care of my little boy. So I tried Zoloft, which worked for many years. Now I am on Paxil, and like it even more than Zoloft. I still am not depressed, but the Paxil takes the edge off of all the constant strain of pain, discomfort, taking longer to do everything and it keeps me even keel. The problem with living with constant limitation is you get tired of it and just lose interest in normal activities. Enter the Paxil. It helps me to have and do all the everyday activities I am able to do with a good attitude,
I highly recommend an anti-depressant. I don’t think of it as a depressant for me, but a mood stabilizer.

Hi Don Sorry you are experiencing this it is good you have passed the disability that will help you financially I think Depression or Anxiety is a part of RA or at least a part of constant pain I also avoided telling anyone I was struggling but now see a psychologist for Anxiety Panic attacks and she has helped I do not want to take any antidepressants so it is going slowly but I did not want the side effects or to be hooked on another medication,
people did advice me to take them but at the moment I am going it with the psychologist and meditation.
you have to give yourself a break and realize dealing with chronic illness is not easy & it dose sneak up on you
so as a suggestion id look into a councillor or psychologist then if need be check out what medication is suitable for you long term.
Good Luck with it and don't be afraid to ask for help