Coping

Hi...I’m 21 F diagnosed with juvenile (idiopathic? rheumatoid?) arthritis at 15. My current diagnosis is RA and I see a rheumatologist, I take enbrel once a week and hydroxychloroquine daily. My RA has never stopped me from anything, in fact I would forget I had it most of the time. Until I started cosmetology school, low and behold, pain and swelling like I hadn't experienced since being diagnosed. My fingers and wrists specifically have never been the same since those 8 months of school. I am very active lifting weights 3/week and work as a bartender in a high volume bar 10+ hours a day 4/week. MRI's come back clear but X-rays show my joint beginning to curve in the pinky finger. I feel like I’m so young and starting my life, I’m just starting my pre-requisites to go back to school yet with damage already starting (and feeling like it's rapidly progressing) I have no clue how to cope or how to feel like I should continue and try to build a future for myself. My biggest fear is not being able to take care of myself or work, I also fear if I have a family I won't be able to care for them. Dating is scary because I definitely do poke fun at having "arthritis" but when do you discuss how serious this kind is and the possibilities? And how do you explain this disease to people when you barely understand it yourself??? HELP PLEASE--and if you read all of this, thank you. <3 my fingers hurt