Hope4Soph, I am a mom of 3. I am not BP myself, but both my H & my 14yr. old S are. For what it is worth, I say tell your daughter the FULL truth about
the BP, site examples of what she has seen and lived with, and how they are classic BP symptoms. Share with her everything you are doing to make yourself well for yourself and her. Perhaps take your daughter to the pdoc with you once and let her tell him/her what SHE sees. It will do several things: validate this is real for her, show her that her input is important because what she has witnessed is valuable to your wellness (and your wellness is ALL she wants for her mom), and it will give her an opportunity to ask questions, and allow her a voice. You can also ask the pdoc what he/she thinks is best to do for her to support the fact that she is having to watch this, and deal with it too; should she join a support group with other teens so she doesn't feel alone, see a child therapist to help her cope with this all...etc. It will show her you care and are concerned for her wellbeing in spite of what you are going through, that you are trying to create safety for her, as you have always done as her mom. That she can always count on you for that in spite of what you are going through. Find out some books that perhaps would be good for a teenager to read to learn about
it. Because as we all know, knowledge is power when it comes to all this. You also need to let her see all the things you are doing to be well. It is okay that she sees that this is hard, the efforts she sees you making will make all the difference to her, and will also help her to see that while you want and need her support, SHE is not responsible to take care of you. It is STILL your job to take care of HER. She is the child, and you are the parent who loves her so much and will continue to take care of her. And perhaps even better now as you continue to achieve balance and wellness. The other key is YOUR level of responsibility about
your OWN condition. Make sure you stay (as best you can) responsible for apologizing, owning when you emotionally go to far, for when mommy is blue and it is NOT anything she did....etc.
At 13, your daughter is old enough to understand and process all that information. Just be honest and don't push her away. Let her ask all the questions she needs. She is not your partner in this, but her input is important too. And there is no shame in her needing help understanding this.
I hope hearing from a mom with kids participates in helping your process. I know this is only my opinion, but maybe it will add additional perspective. All the best....LFW
Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 1/19/2008 10:18:41 PM (GMT-7)