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Posted 2/27/2008 3:03 AM (GMT 0)
I haven't posted a check up in a while, so I thought I would.

I'm still really struggling with the thyroid and the depression. The hypothyroidism is either aggravating the depression or keeping my meds from working, but I've been depressed and just exhausted. I'm very flat, and have almost no drive to do anything or even any real appetite. This is very unlike me. Everyone says I'm not myself -- I look tired all the time and I don't have my "sparkle." I left my sense of humor in my other jeans. I have to be in bed by 9:30 pm every night at the very latest, but I swear I could go around 7:30. I would have a better outlook about this but for the fact that it feels like it's been going on for so long with no break and the fact that my psych just keeps adding new drugs to just try and make a dent in it. I'm up to 5 drugs now, which I don't like.

The good news is that my pcp feels the track of medicine he has me on for the thyroid is the right one, and I should feel some improvement (he says) in the next couple weeks. I'm just losing faith. I have another blood test in 2 weeks. I should choose to be hopeful.

Other than that, I've been working, being mom, taking short trips to St. Louis where we have some family.

Hope all is well with you all. Feel free to post how you are doing as well.

serafena
Posted 2/27/2008 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
Serafena, I am sorry you are struggling so with the thyroid issue. I am confused though, when you said 5 drugs...is that JUST for the thyroid, or in combination with the BP meds? I am hypothyroid, my H is also, and both of us just take the one medication for it (although I am on synthriod and have been for 25 years, and my H takes levoxyl). We are currently checking our BP son for it as well, as some blood counts came back low. I know that the pdoc said if they start meds for this on him it could temporarily through things off and need a little adjusting, and that the thyroid meds take about a month to REALLY kick in. Currently, even after sleeping at night he is really tired during the day, but at bedtime...even though he goes to bed...he really isn't that tired anymore. But eventually he falls asleep. He also has been REALLY hungry of late (although that could be just a growing boy thing), and other than WOW...doesn't seem to have any great motivations lately....I wonder if once they straighten that out for him if that issue will improve as well...anyway, there have been a few more symptoms, but you get the point. So I guess....just hang in there like you are and give it time. Sometimes these meds take so long to kick in you think they never will...BUT THEY EVENTUALLY DO. Once that happens, they can tweak levels to perfection again and you will feel better in the end. I will send you all the good thoughts and hope the universe is listening....HUGS....LFW
Posted 2/27/2008 6:09 AM (GMT 0)

Serafena...sorry you are in a down spot right now.  It is hard enough to get regulated on meds for BP....but to add meds for our other ails, yuck!  Listen to your doctor and give it a couple of more weeks.  My mother has depression and hypothyroidism also.  Also Fibromyalgia.  So when her meds have to get tweaked because of one ailment or another...usually everything gets put out of whack for a while until they get "realigned"

Hang in there!

Posted 2/27/2008 4:35 PM (GMT 0)
LFW-- Thank you for your kind thoughts to the universe -- I'll ask the universe to listen. No, the 5 drugs are my psych drugs. I'm also on Levoxyl for the thyroid. It really makes me nervous to be on so many psych drugs at once. I know my doctor is excellent and her specialty is medication (she's known for finding meds that work in hard to treat patients) but I'm just thinking 5 is a lot of medication. I did let her know I was nervous about it and she said I could stop if the new AD started making me feel manic. It's a very low dose, but still it makes me uncomfortable. We'll see. Maybe I'll feel differently if it works. Nothing so far has worked, probably because of the thyroid. Nonetheless -- I'd hate to see what I'd be like without them. It's bad enough now.

Michele-- Thank you for your support. I will keep trying to be patient. :-)

serafena
Posted 2/27/2008 5:25 PM (GMT 0)
Just to put it in perspective for you. My 14 year old son is on 4 meds twice daily for BP, and 2 allergy meds daily, and if they add one more....OYE! BUT....think of it ALL like insulin. It is just that you are your chemist assembling the right ingredients to balance you out to make the perfect insulin cocktail for your brain. Diabetics would have to do the same thing if insulin was broken down into components too. BP's just have to put their own together because each is so different. I know looking at it, it seems so overwhelming....but perhaps if you think of it that way...you can get around the visual experience. Hang in there Serafena!!!!!!!!!! HUGS...LFW
Posted 2/27/2008 9:13 PM (GMT 0)
Over lunch today, my husband and I had a long talk about why bps go off their meds, why it's so hard to have to take all this medication, any more than with any other medical condition. I have no intention of doing going off my drugs, but we were discussing my balking at taking so much and my knowledge of others I've talked to here who've hated taking meds. It just puzzles me. He's a very logical man, so he wanted to break possible reasons up into categories: 1. Misdiagnosis (people who aren't really bp) 2. Side effects 3. Leery of the drugs: (A desire to stay "in control" of your own brain). I added 4. Social stigma and 5. Not wanting to feel "Crazy" (ie. if you're bp and you take drugs you must be "crazy," which we all know is nonsense.) There must be more reasons, probably dozens, because we're trying to simplify a complicated question.

These are questions you don't always face if you're a diabetic. Don't get me wrong, I love your analogy, LFW. It always works for me. But it puzzles me why so many people give up on their treatment. I'd like to understand better. How many of us have resisted our meds simply because they are for bp and not for something like diabetes? I know I've seen handfuls of people say they stopped their drugs because of side effects. Is a problem the lifelong commitment?

Just thinking out loud...
serafena
Posted 2/28/2008 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
I think it is the psychological stigma. I know that when we think diabetic as a dx, no biggie....but...when the dx is BP...maybe as much as people don't want to buy into the stigma that it means "mental, or crazy"..they do? It is like being prejudice towards yourself and seeing all the meds makes you face your own prejudice about it - over and over again? Does that make sense? It is like buying into the negative press, even though through your own experience you know the rational truth...that it is NOT "mental or crazy"...but still people do...even with themselves perhaps??? Like the meds are the evidence that it must be true (even though we know it is not...and taking the meds does NOT mean that)...but it plays into the fear that it does, or IS that in the end. Am I making any sense? Just some thoughts....LFW
Posted 2/28/2008 9:36 PM (GMT 0)
i am also on 5 meds, along with klonopin for my anxiety. i was weird about it but i think it bothers my mom more. i really trust my pdoc knows what she is doing because she pulled me out a a psychosis that they were going to put me in the hospital indefinitely for. and i have no real symptoms of the bipolar right now, just the usual anxliety and bit of depression. now just getting on the hypothyroid med im a little messed up too. i have no motivation and ive just shut down it seems. just feeling weird and not myself. )although it couls also be all the stress im under, which is a lot at the moment.)

as for the medication issue, at this point considering all my illnesses i take 14 pills a day. im pretty much used to it now but there are days when i hate it so bad. i hate filling the pill boxes and i hate how ridiculous it is that i feel full after taking medication. but i know i absolutley have to take it. that makes it eaiser, knowing i have no decision in the matter, it just is.



i really am sorry that you are going throught all this. its a tough road sometimes but i know how you feel.

bunny
Posted 2/29/2008 5:06 PM (GMT 0)
please come to the chat rooms most of us have depression and we all meet in any room as long as there are people in them theu have helped me tremendously
signed
knitwit
knitwit=like to knit and people say I have a quick wit
Posted 2/29/2008 11:59 PM (GMT 0)
so kute
Posted 3/8/2008 5:36 PM (GMT 0)

Serefena,

Just wondering how you are feeling.  I have been pretty depressed lately, and cycling of course.  It's so frustrating and hopeless.  I am looking foward to warmer weather for sure.

Today we are in the middle of the biggest snow storm we've had this winter.  We will literally be digging out tomorrow.  I don't think I've ever seen so much snow.  It's been snowing for 5 hours straight now and it's only noon.  It's supposed to get heavier for the afternoon and not stop until tomorrow morning!  It also snowed for most of the night last night!

But, I love Canada.

Anyway, hope you are well.

Posted 3/10/2008 5:18 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Mogli,

I'm sorry it took me a few days to get back to you. I'm doing alright -- not great, but I'm hanging in there. I left all my meds at home when I came to my in-laws on vacation, and dropped a bundle all at once to get them all. I felt really stupid, but what can you do. Mostly I'm exhausted, can't keep my eyes open and everyone says I seem overmedicated.

I'm sorry to hear you're still feeling depressed and cycling. It is a hopeless feeling, but it's not really hopeless, we've gotta hang on. It will get better. I heard about your snow. Were you snowed in all weekend?

Thanks for thinking of me (((hugs)))
serafena
Posted 3/17/2008 10:40 PM (GMT 0)

Serafena,

Ah!  So I win the prize of being the longest to reply :-) !  Sorry...can't believe how busy I've been.

So our snow is slowly melting...We have so much.  That weekend was pretty rough, but life went on.

I hope that you are well this week.  I know you're away with your family.  I do have to say that I can understand maybe what others are saying to you about being overmedicated.  I'm not sure if that's the case with you or not, I just wonder if yeah, maybe it is a bit much for you and yeah, the meds are making you feel really awful??  Could be 'cause there are so many...Not sure of course, not a doc, but I hope that you talk to your doc/pdoc about this.  Just so you can start feeling better.  Having said all of that, the bottom line is you need to feel better.  If you and your doc feel that these meds are necessary to be where they're at, then maybe look at some other options to getting you well.  It seems that this has just been hitting you over the last few weeks, yeah?  The whole thyroid thing is probably a huge factor as well...

Anyway, sorry if I'm rambling.  Just want you to know that I am thinking of you.  Update us in a bit when you get home and settled.  Take good care of yourself Serafena.

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