Hi everyone its been awhile since I've been on but have been feeling puzzled and just thought I could vent...
Well I am bi polar and married with 2 beautiful girls and a step-son. I have been married to my husbend for 4 years and it has definitly been a rollar coaster. I was also diagnosed with ulcerative colitis and had my colon removed this passed january and finally physically been doing better. But mentaly very up and down. My husbend had a affair on me in december and I was devasted. are girls are 3 and 1 so part of me wanted to run and the other said you have two babies work it out knowing that I was going to have surgery. So even thu I was hurt I stayed. I have always been very sexually active and feel the need to have always have that in my relationsip so I was very hurt that he had an affair. he said it wasn't a sexual thing but more he liked that this other women was paying attention to him and he liked it as I had been so sick after delivering our second child no fair to me. But that was him be honest. So now I feel like I am going thru all of his things after I accepted him back and can't seem to get over what he did, so 6 months after this affair he had, he tells me today that I only want him because of sex. You only feel loved when we are having sex ,but that is it. He said that is all that I need him for. I kept thinking to myself. Is it true?? I know I feel really great after we have sex but that is not all I need him for. I told him this and he says I am *****y if I don't get it. I told my phyc and he would like to talk to my husbend but he wants nothing to do with it. It makes it hard because I know alot of people with bp normally have many affairs. My father is bp and I lived with it for 25 years so I am very aware of myself and how I treat others as I didn;t want to be like my dad. I have always been faithful in all my relationships and told my husbend when we got married the one thing I would not tolorate was being cheated on. I broke my own promise but feel like I am now an obssevie person and don;t like it! My doc is going to try lithium.l I start tommorow. How I wish I could follow thru with my thoughts,. Do others feel this way. If I could I would be intimate with my husbend everyday. I have a very high drive but he uses it like a game I feel and 1 or 2 times a week if that. I don;t know just feel kinda ieky inside and wanted to write. Thank you for lisneing to my brain go..