I am bipolar going through meaunpause, grief, and panic anxiety

Is there any one out there going through even close to that situation?
I cry rivers and never smile anymore. I cannot remember the last time I felt real joy.
Even feeling numb through the happy moments.
Right now I am on Geodon, Neurotin and and stuff for meaupause The Colonpin (which I am also on) keeps me from panicing to the point of not being able to breathe. But I cannot sleep and count sheep to sleep a wink,
The grief over my mom being in the nursing home is normal they say because she is my best friend and I have nobody but her and two cats, so when the tears flow I let it happen.

Does anyone have and suggestions thoughts or help for any of this.
The doctor will not change or up my sleep meds.

By the way I am new here and thanks for letting me on this board with all of ((((YOU))))

definitely a bipolarII depressed with all of the other stuff going on including anxiety panic attacks
huggs back to you (((Caren)))

Thanks foor the support Serafena! Since I am awaiting disability I cannot change doctors at this time but he said he may try a new combination in the future. For now I live with it and just keep
praying for releif