Social Lives

My social life has decreased ever since I got diagnosed. Many of my friends do not want to socialize with me anymore. Some of my friends have been incredibly supportive. I am forced to live with my parents which has also affected my social life. I have often displayed hypomanic behavior in public in the past but everyone assumed that was part of my personality. Some people do not know how to deal with the loss of that personality. I can't do anything about gossip - all I know is that I have fewer skeletons in my closet than most other people.

Medications are good for stabilizing mood swings and for controlling all other symptoms. But there are too many side effects. I take tegretol, haloperidol, amisulpride and anti-depressants. I yawn all day, some days I get insomnia, sometimes I get tremors, I have to deal with issues like weight gain, hair loss, etc. So medication helps but one has to be prepared to deal with side effects as well.

Well, we don't really have much of a social life. My DH has severe social anxiety so placing him in new situations with new people is really stressful for him. He has his 2 or 3 close friends that he'll hang out with but that's it. Or we do something just the two of us - like go to the movies or play video games. Stuff where there may be other people there, but they are not going to go out of their way to talk to him. He's ok in most situations where there may be other people there to do the same thing as him, but as long as no one tries to make small talk. I had a work function at Christmas and of course all my co-workers at my new job wanted to meet my husband... i've never seen him more tense and uncomfortable.
I think that the friends that my husband has had since high school that have stuck around through all the depression and mania already will be ok with his diagnosis. I think to them it will be a relief that there was a cause behind it and he wasn't (isn't) just a crazy person! And if other people have a problem with him being bipolar - **** 'em! Since we have small kids I think that once things have turned around, we'll try to incorporate our activities around them and not necessarily peers our age. We have friends with kids the same age as ours so that helps with being social.
I think that you need to find people in similar situations that can either relate or understand what you're going through. Find people that do the same things you do and I don't think it's necessary really to tell people that your spouse has BD.
Maybe sit down and make a list of things you like to do with your spouse and concentrate on those things as it will be something within his comfort zone that you can do together.
As selfish and self-centered as I think BD can be (i'm sorry, i don't mean to offend anyone with BD) I think that if you truly accept your spouses situation then you have to accept that self centeredness too. Don't get me wrong, YOU can be frustrated by it as well, but if you want to find common ground with your DH then you are going to have to make sacrifices.

from the time i was a child i suffered from bipolar (depressive mostly, i don't have mania often). I've always had trouble socilizing and would be lucky if i made one friend during the school year; i'd lose them over the summer break.

i currently only have two friends...my husband and one person i've known since i was a teenager that we've managed to stay in contact (even though we met and still live on opposite sides of the country). my husband keeps trying to get me to socilize and make friends. i jsut clam up..not that i have anxiety or fears... i just don't care to make friends.

Up intil last week, I had not told ANYONE about my husband's bd. I had two major crying sessions with two separate girlfriends because he had flipped out on me so badly that I didn't know what else to do (until I found you all and realized I am not the only one living in this turmoil) and I was done being quiet about this.

For the most part my husband is a fun guy to be around in a social setting. Before the kids we use to go out with his friends, my friends. He'd go out with his friends, I'd go out with my friends. Never been a problem. Never felt insecure and trusted him. Now that he's told me this whole bit about not having any emotional attachment to me, I have doubts and I am scared.

Anyway, he knows that drinking is just not good for him on his meds and usually won't have a drink, but may have one. Never really had an episode on public. When he tries to get into people's faces if they've disrespected him (according to him), I can usually convince him to stop.

We go out as a family but lately it's been stressing him out and he blames it on ME! Says my bad energy causes the kids to flip out. OMIGOSH! Could it be because he's been such an a** to me lately that I feel horrible and confused and it stresses me out to have to deal with his attitude and the kids? So we decided that until our kids outgrow this funky stage they are in, we would refrain from going anywhere all together. Of course I'm still confused about whether it is that he just doesn't want to be with me or what????? Ay. Whatever.

As a matter of fact, he is out tonight with a couple of friends. I wish he had a true friend he could just spill his guts out to and vent, but he really doesn't and he keeps it inside and I get stuck with his moody self.

He does plenty of things with the kids and he's a loving father and very affectionate with our children. Is it normal for him to be affectionate with our kids and not with me? This is what I'm talking about, he's confusing me. When he says that there is nothing emotional between us, is it the bd talking and the numbness he feels from the meds or does he really feel like that when- when what? When he's not on the meds is when he flips out on me. Guys, I am now in a panic. I had decided that I was going to have a different attitude about my husband and his illness and educate myself better on how I can help him cope, but now I am now sure he even loves me to begin with. How can he be affectionate with our kids, but not with me. Maybe it is too late and I waited to long to want to do something about our marriage and try to help him.

So vacations are not ever good. He gets all crumpy and stressed out and I can't stop myself from continuing to along with him. In all the trips we've taken the best one was when I was able to go explore on my own because he was stuck in a conference during the week. That's sad.