I a am new hear but have been reading this board for a long time. All I can say is I've gotten down on my knees and
prayed for all of you people, those of you with bipolar disorder and your families who love you so much. Life is not
fair although I feel there is some reason (whatever it may be) why there is so much suffering. I feel that all of our
spirits come from god and do not choose the vessel they inhabit. Unfortunately, some of our poor souls are inhabiting
disfunctional bodies with whacked out chemistry/hormones and short circuits in the brain. I have never been diagnosed
with bipolar disorder but I was hospitalized once about 30 years ago with severe depressionand I will never forget how I felt. It was a total feeling of hopelessness and I had feelings about life in general and its purpose- we live, we love, we have children,they have children, we lose people we love and then the ultimate end-we die. I could not see the purpose of life in general because it just seemed like infinite hopeless cycle. I detached myself from my family because I could not bear the thought of being separated from the people I loved. I wanted life to end because it was just going to happenometime down the road anyway. Thank God for medications- without these I do not believe I could have gone on
and raised my children and taken care of my huband after he was hospitalized for a month and cared for my elderly
father for three months in our home before he died. I am now the caregiver of my 88 year old diabetic mother.
The seretonin levels in my brain were severely low and once they were elevated through the meds I saw things
in a whole new perspective. I see now that life does have a purpose and we should never give up on those we love
because if my loved ones had given up on me I would not be here today. I feel that our spirits are invincible and that
we all will meet in another place. I feel their will be forgiveness towards those who have hurt us because we will realize
that it is only the vessel we inhabit that suffered pain and our spirit cannot be touched. Science may find a break-
through some day to cure diseases like bipolar disorder. I also experienced anxiety disorder and panic attacks
during another phase of my life (around menopause) and again was put on medication. There is nothing worse than
mental pain, I know. I would much rather go through 100 childbirths than have a brain that will not turn off and let
you rest. I took zoloft and ambien. The zoloft seemed to help the anxiety but I could not sleep and my head would
buzz when I tried to close my eyes tight. The ambien did help with the sleep, although I did take a little too much
one time and ended up on the floor. Dr's say these two episodes in my life were chemical/hormonal imbalances
brought on by stress. Bipolar disorder is so much more complex because the brain is changing all the time. My son-
in-law is bipolar and left my daughter again for the umteenth time. I can see the man she loves, a sweet, sensitive
loving guy and then all of a sudden he turns into a robot and says he doesn't love her. When he's going through
the depression he loves her again. This time I think he is gone for good because he had a very manic attack and he
will not take medication. He was on lithium for about a year and quit drinking and seemed perfectly normal. It's
sad that the mania makes people think they are ok again. It is so sad, because these people want to feel loved and
give love like anyone else but are unable to at times. I'd like some feedback from bipolar males out there- if you've left
your wife during mania, do you ever think of her or is it hard to remember those times. what would you recommend
a spouse to do when you leave. My son-in-law attacks my daughter for nothing and it makes it worse if she keeps her
mouth shut and tries to ignore the attacks. She knows he can't help it and that is why she has stayed with him. I
thought some of these marriages on the rocks could be saved if the two lived in separate places (if feasible) to alleviate
tension on the part of both partners, that way the bipolar partner would have a calm environment and would not
get as stressed out over everyday problems. After all, when people are dating and not living together they seem to
get along better, it's when they move in together that the problems begin. what would you suggest to save a marriage
such as this? My daughter says bipolar people need love too, in fact her husband is looking for someone else right
now- he doesn't believe she is the right person for him. I know he will not stay with any one woman for long because
of his inability to feel love at times. Most women will not stay in the game as long as my daughter has- six years.
I don't mean to sound cruel-just really need to be educated. If you are bipolar, I would appreciate any feedback on
your feelings, how the people who love you can help you through your crises. Thank you.