i have no idea if i have bipolar disorder, but is it a possibility?? (don't mean to be mean or anyth

hing)

i've been interested in mental health for a really long time, since i was like 12 or something. and i've read wikipedia constantly (i know it's not always accurate) and a bunch of other sites regarding everything. i also ask a lot of questions on yahoo answers and although i never thought i had it, so many people have suggested to me that i might.

i'm 16 by the way.

sometimes i am extremely depressed and suicidal. i won't feel ANYTHING. i'll think about suicide a lot. everything's awful. i'll move slowly, won't feel like eating, i'll sleep every chance i get, i'll mumble instead of talking.

then, often in the same day, i'll be extremely happy. everything is so great then. i'll message all my friends i haven't talked to in a really long time, add my childhood friends on social networking sites, smile at everyone and everything, i'll have lots of self confidence. i'll talk to people i haven't talked to in a while and it'll go great, i'll make friends.

then i'll become depressed again, often in the same day. i'll think "why did i message them? they obviously hate me. why was i even talking to them. they looked ta me like i was a moron i know it. they're all talking about me about how much they hate me." and i'll become really suicidal and feel worthless. i've done this from a young age, i remember being only about ten years old and being so upset that i just wanted to die and trying to hold my pillow over my head long enough.

i have anger problems, too. i've had them since i was very young. i'd get so angry over things that shouldn't anger anyone. misunderstandings, even. i'll get so mad that i'm digging my nails into my skin until it starts peeling off kind of. i'll want to pull my hair out and explode and nothing helps this anger. not even counting to ten, that makes me angrier. this anger could come from someone telling me to do my homework. i usually get over it within half an hour and feel extremely guilty, unless it was something actually bad that others did to me. when i was 9 i cut up my dress because i was so angry over something minimal.

everyone seems this is normal and that i just think too much. i don't know how to think in any other way and it's extremely frustrating and i don't really want this to be normal for me. if i don't have a chance of having this, i'd like to be told from people who have experience and then maybe i'll be able to get over it.

thank you.

yes, talk to a doctor and psychatrist. BP is tricky. It can be a number of metal/mood disorders that can masqurade as BP (boderline personality is one of them as an example). There are 3 offical types of BP and even diffrent grades within that and each one responds to treatment diffrently, Only a professional can tell the diffrence and assist you in treatment.

Good luck!

Hi freetoaster,

Welcome to HealingWell and the bipolar board. As I'm sure either the counselor or your mother already told you, some of that moodiness is normal for someone your age, but it sounds like you're concerned there's something more going on. Does you're mother know you're thinking of suicide? That's the kicker. If nothing else, let her know your thoughts often turn very black and you'd like to talk to at least a counselor. See what she has to say.

In the mean time, hang in there. You only have two more years until you can get your own insurance and make your own appointments. :)

serafena