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Posted 4/29/2009 3:30 AM (GMT 0)
hi everybody i'm here because i'm extremely lonely and it's devastating. i feel like no one can help me and that everyone who hasn't already given up on me already will eventually and no one can help. i can't rely on myself and i can't rely on anyone else and i just don't know where to turn.
Posted 4/29/2009 6:28 PM (GMT 0)
Hi Tesslynn84,

Welcome to HealingWell and to the bipolar board. Well, you're in the right place. We're a pretty friendly bunch and we'll try and chase the lonelies away. Tell us a little bit more about yourself. We'll see if we can't help a bit.

You sound like you feel pretty hopeless. That's no good. Everything's going to be alright. Being bipolar does tend to scare the weak-hearted away. It's happened to all of us. It's very disheartening. But there are stronger people out there who will come along. You've just got to hang on and be ready for them.

(((hugs)))
serafena
Posted 4/29/2009 6:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hello Tess. Welcome to our board.

Bipolar has a way of getting us into those dark places, where we feel that we are horribly alone inthe world. You need to speak to your doctor about a check of your meds...it sounds like you may need some help. But in the mean time you need to try and take care of yourself. Do something enjoyable, there are many people out there willing to listen.
Posted 5/3/2009 2:04 AM (GMT 0)
my meds have been adjusted every month and they seem to be making me worse. my mom won't talk to me anymore because she can't handle it.
Posted 5/4/2009 1:45 AM (GMT 0)
It's terrible when our family members give up on us. You're certainly not alone, but it definitely feels that way. She's the loser. She's losing her daughter because her mind isn't open enough. She'll come back, just be patient. Many of us have lost family this way. It's terrible and very unfair.

I know -- I honestly know -- how frustrating it is while you're waiting for the meds to work. You keep switching and waiting and nothing seems to do it, but you WILL find one that turns the key. You will be well again. Just hang in there and it may take another month or two, but you'll get there. I know that seems unbearable, but it'll be okay. You're stronger than you think you are.

serafena
Posted 5/4/2009 2:33 PM (GMT 0)
From a parent point of view with 2 kids who have Bipolar Disorder, it is a constant struggle to try to remain postive 24/7 but, I would never give up on them it may seem that way,but I am there figuring out what we can try next to help.  Be positive for yourself as much as you can and your family will come around in time.  Hope you have a good day!!  We are here for you when you need to vent or just chat.  Mom's can take more then you think.
Posted 5/7/2009 9:37 PM (GMT 0)
i stopped taking my meds last saturday because they were making me worse. i've tried like 10 different meds since september and i just can't take it anymore. i feel better off my meds but i still get obsessive thoughts and bad depression but it's still better than being on the meds. my psych office closed because of the economy so if i tried other meds i'd either have to wait 6-8 weeks for a new psychiatrist or go to the emergency room.
Posted 5/8/2009 12:44 AM (GMT 0)
Tess,

You're walking a very dangerous line. I really really encourage you to start taking your meds again. You forget how bad it feels to be manic and depressed. Please start taking your meds and put a call in to a new psych. Yes, you'll have to wait, and it's a pain, but truly, the alternative is worse than you are remembering.

What side effects are you having on the drugs that you hate them so much?

serafena
Posted 5/10/2009 9:33 PM (GMT 0)
I know I have been tempted to stop my meds in the past and still sometimes am. But it is best to try press on. One thing that helps me to feel like I am in control is to read about BP. I have several books. Even simple books like BP for Dummies can be very informational. Hang in there. We have all been where you are, you are not alone at all...
Posted 5/14/2009 4:43 AM (GMT 0)
i am sure that the meds i was on were making me worse
Posted 5/14/2009 5:33 AM (GMT 0)
How are you feeling now?
Posted 5/14/2009 6:34 AM (GMT 0)
i want to cry most of the time. i can't think of any reason to be happy
Posted 5/14/2009 6:35 AM (GMT 0)
i went to play volleyball which has been the best part of my week recently and i didn't enjoy it much
Posted 5/14/2009 6:43 AM (GMT 0)
i was just reading in the depression forum about co-dependency. i'm trying so hard to rely on myself and not go running to someone else everytime i get depressed but the more i try the more lonely and depressed i get. but i've reached a point where the only thing any one can do is sit there and watch me cry and that makes me feel worse
Posted 5/14/2009 7:40 AM (GMT 0)
i'm starting to think i might have been misdiagnosed. my psych thought i had bipolar 2 because he thought the only symptom i was missing was the staying awake for days but i just read a short article about mania symptoms and when i was diagnosed the only one i had was racing thoughts. my thoughts now are negative and a bit obsessive but not racing, my sleep disturbance is fom withdrawing from the meds and the only times i felt unusually irritable were when my meds were changed and the irritability (and sometimes high energy) went away as soon as i'd go off that med.
Posted 5/14/2009 12:41 PM (GMT 0)
I have bipolar type 2 and I still question whether or not I am bipolar. My therapist says to me "does it really matter the diagnosis if the meds are working" I think she is right. If the meds are not working you should try something else. Or find someone who will work with you on changing your medications. You shouldn't have to feel depressed. There are so many treatment options. Best of luck to you. Get Well Soon.
Posted 5/17/2009 9:31 PM (GMT 0)
i spent all day yesterday at a psychodrama workshop. it was very painful and it didn't help. when i was on anti depressants only i was even more depressed than before i went on the meds and the mood stabilizers make me manic more often.
Posted 5/17/2009 11:20 PM (GMT 0)
Just remember we are hear for you. You can always come here to share your feelings or vent if you need to. We care about you.
Posted 5/18/2009 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Tesslynn,

You just haven't found the right medications for you yet. There are so many available, and not all of them work for everyone. You're in so much pain right now, I really feel for you. It's good you at least tried the workshop. But hang in there and keep trying new things. Try a new med too. If you're bipolar you shouldn't be on an anti-depressant alone -- that will make you manic. You really need the mood stabilizer.

serafena
Posted 5/18/2009 12:54 AM (GMT 0)
yeah everyone's told me that an anti depressant alone would make me manic but it made me more depressed. i think i was on just the anti depressant for a full month and i don't think i had a single manic or even hypo manic episode during that month.

some bipolar people i've talked to have said that they tried every other mood stabilizer before trying lithium and that lithium worked but everyone says to try everything else first because lithium can cause liver damage i think was the reason. but for me the meds that don't work make everything worse and i can't handle it so i'm kinda thinking maybe when i finally get to see a new psych maybe they'll be willing to put me on lithium.
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