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bi-polar manic episode

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Posted 6/24/2009 8:37 PM (GMT 0)
hello. i need help. i am having a bi-polar manic episode. i also have fibromyalgia,restless legs syndrome, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue and pain, TMJ, irritable bowel, asthma, high cholesterol, anxiety, depression. my meds. include effexor pravastatin, seroquel, xonax, lamictal, klonopin, temazepam, armour, amitiza, buspar, lortabs, estradiol, ans albuterol inhaler. as u can tell , i am very sick. when i am manic everything is worse. my husband and i are fighting which is rare for us. i use curse words that would NEVER come out of my mouth normally. i just dont think my husband gets it, even though he says he does. he wont try to read anything about it or go to counseling. he says ive given up, which i agree with. i barely get out of bed. i go days without bathing. i wasnt nearly this bad a few months ago but my husband cant see that. he also acts as if i have a choice. maybe i could do more, but i am in such a dark place i cant see my way out. right now i dont even want out. if it werent for my 19 yr. old daughter, i dont think i would still b here. i have really only 1 friend whom i do anything with. i just dont want to bother people with all my stuff. i wonder how many of u are even still reading this. if u have any thoughts, please let me know. im desparate.
Posted 6/24/2009 9:08 PM (GMT 0)
I hear you completely! I have mixed episodes, so this morning was a little manic, but now it's back to depression. I used to be manic often, now it's very rare. I miss the mania to some extent though. I showered today after quite some time. I had to go to the dentist. I try to rarely leave my condo - fortunately my husband does get it, as much as someone can who doesn't suffer from it. I'm in a very dark place as you mentioned too. My 17 year old daughter is who keeps me going definitely. I have one and only one friend and even that is rocky at times. People just don't know how to deal with me, blame me or the illness type thing. I don't really think that I would want to be friends with me either. I am cautiously optimistic that my meds will soon reach their therapeutic levels - it's hard to think about the future, as to me it seems so bleak. I try not to think about the past either, especially the times that were better, as I miss them so much and would do anything to have them back. I have to truly live for the moment, each second, minute at a time, just to cope. I wish I had some words of advice, but I don't - I just want to let you know that you are not alone AND you are not bothering anyone with your issues, that's what this is for, don't forget that and don't feel guilty for needing to talk/vent or ask for advice.
Posted 6/24/2009 9:40 PM (GMT 0)
I can totally relate.  My husband tells me to pray and everything will get better.  He doesn't know that I pray all the time.  But this forum is a good place to get it off your chest.  It helps me to vent and to have others who are going through the same thing let me know I'm not alone.  Hang in there and keep talking.

Posted 6/25/2009 12:50 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

I am in a similar place now as well. Started getting manic and hearing music repetetevely due to lack of sleep.

I am starting to feel better now fortunaltely but it takes ALOT of patience as you know. Hang in there. BTW, I have a 19 yo son and he keeps me here too.

Posted 6/25/2009 3:00 PM (GMT 0)
cbear,
I'm so sorry you aren't doing well right now. Do you have a therapist or pdoc? It sounds like you need to see your doctor.

And of course we read your whole post! We are here to listen and support you!

Also, unfortunately people don't understand BP. Talk to your husband about it when you are stable. There's a lot of great resources on the internet (see the resources section on this board) that can help you figure out what to say as well as for your husband to read about BP.

Hang in there - you can do it.
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