Hi all, been gone for a bit....

Hi Everyone, First let me say, I usually run spell check, but I am having computer problems so for ALL the misspellings....please fogive me!!!!!

I have been off the boards for a while.  Things here just crazy busy and I have just been exhausted.  Still in therapy with H....and that is good, but still lonely.  Med changes happening for my H & S, but so far....nothing overly negative to report overall.  Some days better than others of course, but overall okay.  My twins are busy with summer, and camp.  My boy twin has been pulled off meds and for the moment is doing better.  Although of late, he has started tantrums again.  We were completely clear for about a month, and now it is starting again.  We are looking into starting ADHD meds vs. the BP for him. 

I am at maximum stress with my job.  I really want out but have not found something else yet.  I accidentially did something VERY minor, but one of the MD's who works at one of the practices my boss owns has gone crazy over it.  In a nutshell, I was planning a clinic event, and commented to one of the assistants who would be coming to the event with the MD to schedule follow-ups that some of them may also be scheduled with the new MD joining the practice, as they also may want to fill up his time.    I was just projecting forward trying to prepare her for the possibliity - I was then going to talk to my boss about it, but never got the chance.  She then relayed to the MD she works with that I said ALL the patients will be scheduled with the other MD for follow-ups, not him, and that I told her it was my boss who said so.  Which was not true.  Well, this MD goes WILD and suddenly refuses on the day of the event to go.  My boss calls me in and is furious at me for saying anything like that.  I explained what he was told, was NOT what I said.  I apologized all over the place for having verbalized my idea prematurely, and went to the MD and humbly appologized over and over and took 100% responsibility.  But he REFUSED to believe that I was at fault, or that what he had been told by his receptionist was not true.  And he is CONVINCED that my boss is trying to use me as a scape goat and is plotting against him behind his back.  IT IS UNBELIEVABLE!  NO SUCH THING IS TRUE, but this MD is CONVINCED of it no matter what I say.  So, he goes to the first day of the clinic, I send him an apology email saying I was so sorry for the misunderstanding and what I ignorantly had said, and he responds by saying on the second day of the clinic he refused to go.  We scrambled to cover the event, which we did, but my boss is now LIVID with me for what I have done.  He has a right to be.  I made a mistake and this rediculous MD had turned it into some sinister plot against him.  And my boss not only has this disaster on his hands and is being blamed for something he didn't do because this MD is CRAZY!  I don't know how I can fix it either.  I have apologized, I have owned it, I have told the truth, and because this guy REFUSING to believe me and being PARANOID that he is being plotted against, it has turned into WWIII.  My boss thinks the MD may quit which will leave this practice without an MD at his level.  And the thing is, what was said was SO damm innocent.  All this guy needed to do was check out the information he was told before getting mad, and my boss would have told him what I had suggested was in no way going to happen, he didn't know anything about it (which he really didn't other than I had mentioned the thought to him in passing but we hadn't had time to discuss it.  IF we had, he would of told me NO to begin with....only I didn't know that), and he would of told this MD he didn't know why I would have said that.  He would have called me in, gotten mad at me, said "why'd you say that?", I'd tell him what I was thinking, realized I should have taken the time to clear the idea fully with him before opening my mouth.  I would have apologized and that would have been it.  Only, this guy thinks I am lying to cover for my boss - I am not.....he is convinced there is a conspiriousy - there is not.....and I may now get fired over all this.  I am currently on probation because of it.  I feel just TERRIBLE about all this....just TERRIBLE.  I know I didn't say anything horrible, a simple NO that is not what we are going to do would have sufficed.  I don't know why the receptionist relayed such a scewed version of what I told her, but now it is like this avalanche falling over this.  It is TOTALLY crazy!!!!  I am so sad, mad and feeling guilty.  This MD is NUTS to have turned it into such a thing.  I know doctors have egos, but this is TOTALLY CRAZY!

So guys....that is how I am doing!!!  How are all of you?  LFW

Post Edited (loving frustrated wife) : 7/11/2009 1:48:06 PM (GMT-6)

Thanks Serafena! My mom was funny....she said that even though my boss is not the one who has done anything wrong "this time"....I was (innocent and small though it was).....the fact that he is having all this become an avalache of problems because of one of the doctors, in one of the practices he owns behaving like this total PARANOID guy, is like Karma paying him back for how he has treated me for the last year. Like, even though THIS isn't something persay HE did....payback in the universe can be a B****! I can see her point. My biggest problem is that....while I need my job for the $$, I wish he would fire me so I can collect unemployment while looking for a better gig and get out of there. If I quit...which I'd LOVE to do....I'd get NOTHING. And that can't happen. So, part of me is REALLY hoping he does fire me. The other part of me is hoping that in some ways it blows over until I find the new gig first. I am putting even more effort into it of late.

Plus, if he fires me, I will at least for a little bit of time be able to spend some time focusing more on my own business. My product on the market just missed 1st place in my catagory for Creative Child Magazine out of 1100 entrants this year. So I am quite proud of that. NOW....if this will translate into more sales....I COULD QUIT!!!!! And then work for myself full time. Ahhhh to keep dreaming of the day..... Big hugs to you. LFW

Am I allowed to share about that here in specifics? I am not sure. I have always kept it veage just in case. Serefena....Olivia....let me know.

Either way, Mommy. Michele thank you for your support. If it turns out I can't say more here. I do have my e-mail unlocked and if you write me there, I am happy to share with you all about it. Same for anyone else.

As to going to work tomorrow...I am not looking forward to it...I have no idea what is going to happen...LFW

Oh, okay...So...here it all is in a nutshell. I have had many careers in various avenues of the arts throughout my life...actor, writer, make-up artist. I have owned a business or two. And about 3 years ago, having kids with a large age span between them, I was hard pressed to find things we could all listen to together when running around in the car that didn’t annoy one age or the other. So, I put my thinking cap on and set out to solve my own problem. Along the way I spoke to teachers, principles, pediatricians, child development experts, pediatric psychiatrists, college professors who work in the area of listening skills and audio processing. What I discovered was that they all said the same thing. Children don’t process sound well anymore because everything they do is audio/visual combined. So they have a very hard time using the skills by themselves. If I could develop a product that would allow children to isolate those skills and practice them….I would hit on something of great value.

So, I created a company that produces “Children’s Audio Theatre”. It is called Story Roads (www.storyroads.com). Using original material, I produce full cast original stories that are told in series format. I am penning the first story series titled, “Wendy & Wally”, and Story 1: Together At Last” is on the market now. That is what I entered in Creative Child Magazine’s competition where we were runner up for 1st prize as CD of the Year this year.

We have been endorsed by everyone (experts and parents) and they all say how charming and engaging it is. As well as what an effective audio workout the kids get. The experts all agree that it should improve listening, audio processing, creative visualization, imagination and memory skills in kids the more it is used as an isolated skill. Story 2 in my series, “Wally for One, Wall for All” is in post production now. AND the 2nd story series, Earth City, is penned by another author and is for an older age group (think HP if you get my drift) than my W&W series, and we’re in pre-production with that one.

The experts said they love the concept because it effectively is something the whole family can enjoy listening to together when you have multi-aged kids between 4 and 12 in the car (as an example). But anyone older will also enjoy listening too because it is entertaining, and we don’t talk down to kids. Plus, it makes a great addition to a bedtime routine because after you read a story to your child once…then you do lights out and listen snuggled up together for 10 minutes….and poof…off to dreamland they go. And the stories are long enough you don’t have to listen to the same thing over and over. The idea is to play it in 5-15 minute spurts so it keeps them engaged, and they have to use those memory skills to keep track of where they are.

As you can see I am really passionate about this all, and absolutely LOVE what I do. But, money has been so tight I had to go get a job- job again to help make ends meet. My ultimate dream is that Story Roads takes off and I can replace the salary I am making now, at least, with sales - so I can devote full time to this again. I love to write, I love performing, I love directing, producing, post-production….the whole shabang!!!! But, there is too much to do for one person with all the marketing and I couldn’t afford to hire someone. So I am limping along on my own.

Dealing with what I have with this boss, has only broken my heart even more knowing how far away I am now feeling from all this being the success I pray one day it will be. It all makes me feel so trapped between the chaos of my job, home life distractions…etc. So, on the personal fulfillment front….this is my passion. I am doing all I can to keep this dream alive. Thanks for letting me share this special part of me with you. Sorry for how long it all is. Big hugs all….LFW

It is in the works to do so. I'll let you know when it is up. It is just things are slow moving unfortunately. I am hoping it is up in a month or so. Thank you so much for the input, it is appreciated. LFW

Last year I got a call from a mom of a 5 year old. She had bought story 1 at a toy fair for her child. Her daughter loved it so much that for x-mas, all her daughter asked for was story 2. I felt so terrible, but it wasn't ready. This year it will be. A lot of my industry friends have helped by donating thier time, but everyone is so busy, including me, that it is a very slow process. What kills me, is if I could gain grant money, which I have been trying for as a female owned business...etc. I can pay all the post people and not have to wait it out. It has been hard. But the end result is worth it, and the concept is solid. So I keep going. I'll let you know when it is up. LFW

Hi LFW,

 

I hope you get your time off to re-energize so that and handle what you need to.  I hope your home life cooperates with you.

 

All the best!  You really deserve it for all your efforts and doing something so positive!

 

Good Luck!  Keep us posted!  ~sukay~

LFW,
I'm so sorry what you're going through with your boss. I went through something similar with a boss a couple of years ago. It totally sucks! But take some reassurance in that other people now see what a jerk he is and they are thinking of you and your well being.

Use your time off to re-energize. You'll be amazed at what you can do when you're a little more refreshed. Once you feel like you don't care what your boss is like, then start that job search. This economy is making a lot of people stay in crappy jobs they hate so I am going to think good thoughts for you and pray that you find something sooner rather than later.

Good luck and take some time for yourself!

BPWife

Hi LFW,

I hope the start of this is the start of all fresh new beginnings for you starting with the most important issue of getting plenty of R&R.

((Hugs))

Hi Sukay,

Well, here’s the update. It turns out that the “hot flashes” I have been getting, have not been peri-menopause, they are part of the anxiety attacks that have started along with the chest pains & shortness of breath, shaking, tension, headaches…etc. I have been experiencing for months. When I went in and had an appointment with my H & S’s pdoc about me, he couldn’t believe the condition I was in. He said in the 8 years of knowing me, he had never seen me like this and had always known me as a very stable, grounded, balanced woman who had the ability to cope well in high stress. He felt I had reached saturation, and once he learned of the treatment I had been under at work felt regardless of staying in the job or not, insisted I be pulled out on stress leave right away. He was concerned for me as my bloodpressure was up as well. SO…Monday morning I went in and spoke to the COO about what was going on, the concern for my health, my feeling that the CEO clearly did not seem to care for my work or me – as demonstrated by his verbal hostility towards me on a very regular basis, and he told me he was sorry for what this has put me through. He supported me getting myself under control, taking a leave, getting rested, and that he wanted me to know that the CEO feels in reality the complete opposite from how he has treated me. He claims he is my most STONCH support at work and apparently tells everyone he feels I do an AMAZING job, better than anyone else at this company has ever done in my position. The COO shared that he has worked with our boss a long time and knows that he is a poor communicator and would work on things at work in the hopes after the disability leave I will come back.

I will of course seek a new job while I am out on leave, but I am assuming the COO was not lying to me about how our boss really feels about me and my work, so in the event I don’t find anything, it does leave the door open for me to come back when I am stronger and feel capable of talking to the CEO and try to work it out. The thing is, I don’t mind the work I did, just couldn’t handle the treatment of me anymore. The hours are right for me, the pay is good, as well as the location. So….time is going to tell. For now, I am trying to rest. Get my hands to stop shaking and my heart from racing all the time.

As for the home front. H is mostly being supportive and kind. He TOTALLY wants me out of there permanently and is helping me look for a new post. So…we’ll see how it all plays out. Right now, I am just looking at getting through tomorrow, taking care of me, calming my nerves and looking after my family.

Thank you for thinking about me. How are YOU doing? I know you hit a rough patch for a bit as well. Are you feeling better with the new meds? LFW

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