don't understand

Hi!  I am new to posting and everything.  I think that this is only my second or third post.  Anyway, I don't understand what Biploar really is.  I am asking about it because of an "incident" that happened to me about a year ago, now, that in the end resulted in a great friendship.

The summer after my senior year (2003; almost 20-- next month: Oct.) I was at a friend's house and was joking around how neither one of us had the guts to call a teacher we had both had.  She actually had gotten the guts and called her and she was even home.  It took my friend a while to get me on the phone with her.  The ex-teacher has really helped me since my senior year and her friendship is what resulted.  She (ex-teach) gave me some numbers to call and told me "that if I wanted to, I could call her back afterwards," in which I did.  While I was talking to her (called her back) I found out more about she and her new fiance's engagement and everything.  As we talked, my friend left the room and then returned with 2 uniformed police officers and 2 paramedics as well.  An officer eventually was able to get the phone from me and talk to my teacher.  She explained to them the situation and the fact that they were misinformed-- that I was NOT AT ALL suicidal-- yes, I have tried in the past, I will admit it!  The officers were going to let it go but she also talked to one of the paramedics (ONLY FEMALE of the group).  She refused to leave unless I went with them.  My friend, teacher, finally was able to coax me to go and that she would meet me, there, at the hospital.  When she arrived, at first, they refused to let her come where I was, but when they finally did, she could not believe what kind of room they had placed me in.  See, she had had plans to go out that evening but gave them up to stay with me-- she kew I wouldn't call my family (mom) or anyone else and such.  She stayed with me for over four hours while I was there.  She even started filling out the paperwork, she knew me that well.  She would ask the one who evaulated me questions and such.  I willingly signed myself in and they said that I could willingly sign myself out at any point.  I was there for about three days in which I did not eat, bathe, use the bathroom, etc., and lost 8 lbs.  I left AMA.  While I was there, they had given me Topamax and the doc who was "assigned" to me said that I was Bipolar.  Many of my friends, including the one who was my ex-teacher, have come to the conclusion that I can not  be Bipolar and most likely just suffer from Clinical Depression.  I bought Jane Pauley's book "Skywriting" which talks about her battle with this disease.  It is helping me in a way.... I have bought many books on Bipolar and none of which has helped me better understand this disease nor helped me see if I really do have this disease.

Now, I know a "doctor" did diagnose me with this disease, but I don't and neither do my friends and family believe that I have this disease!  For I show no symptoms!  Please give me any and all information to better understand the disease and such.  Thanks to all; especially to anyone who posts back! ^_-

Randy,

some of those symptoms that you listed are depression symptoms. I do a lot of that but it is like "normal" for me. I am paraniod when it comes to police/law enforcement; i can be "aggressive" especially when it's with my mom or sister; I can become not motivated or have any initiative; I don't even know what the definition of sleep is anymore... I have sleeping problems yet at the same time don't want to get out of bed. I eat whenever I can-- especially since school has started (sophomore in college) where MWF I try to get up by 5:00 since I don't have a car (in the shop), have to feed and take care of my puppy, take a shower, have time to do my hair (only thing I really will try and do-- no makeup for me!), get dressed, and make sure I have everything needed for school. When I have money, especially A LOT of it, I most of the time will spend it on things that are really just "junk"!. Religion... hmmm.... I sometimes wonder if I am becoming Atheist b/c of all the stuff I have gone through since 11th grade. I've never gotten in trouble with the law (technically speaking) and have only been pulled over once for "speeding," but I didn't get a ticket. I really do think that I just have Clinical depression, because one of my closest friends, who knows me to a "T" can tell you that she has NEVER seen me in a manic, rapid cycling, or hypomanic episodes. I don't know.... :-/

AuSs

Randy,

In a way, yes. I even ASKED him to put me on an anti-depressant!! Instead, he told me that he wanted to deal with my headaches first-- which were NEVER delt with!!! I have gone to 3 different doctors about the headaches! I don't know anymore and I really don't care either! I am sick of being told that there is NOTHING wrong with me. I sometimes feel as though I am sounding just like my best friend, (11 yr gap between us), who suffers from FMS, and CFIDS. She adn I are so much alike that it's SCARY!!! Everything comes back NORMAL! I don't have ANY support from my family and now since all of my friends have started college, (again or for the first time), they are all scattered around the US of A. All I have is my best friend and one other friend who is pretty much in the same boat as me with family support, insurance, etc., but I feel that it is worse for her. I don't know. If you have any "suggestions" pass em' my way, please.

AuSsie

Erica,

See that inccident, the Dr. said I was "manic." I disagree. I refused to really follow one rule which was to wear shoes. I know this may seem hard to believe but when I wear anything that is completely closed, I will trap but when I wear sandals, flip-flops, heels, I walk perfectly normal. I get depressed often and it can be quite bad. It got to the point where I would self-injure. I am better, though. I think it is b/c I recently got a puppy as well as a VERYsupportive friend-- she's in this initial, first post. Right now, I am helping her with her problems, depression, and temp. disability. One thing about being a "kid" that sucks is the fact that I can't do things for me to feel and get better that requires insurance since my parents are the ones who pay for all of it and such. Recently, I did an informative speech for my speech class. I did it on FMS (Fibromyalgia). The same friend has this disease and that is one reason I wanted to do a speech on it-- she has had it for about 10 yrs. Anyway, the more I learn/learned about it as well as the more I try to educate myself of it, I have started to wonder if I, too, have it. for I have many symptoms of it as well as lab, blood, CT, EEGs have come back normal-- typical w/FMS. I know with Bipolar it's hereditary. Well.... I was adopted. I don't know anything about my family roots, my past. All I do know is that I came to the US, to my parents, at 3 months of age. I really just think I have Severe Depression and a chacne that I do REALLY have FMS. Well, gonna go for a while.

AuSsieG1rL