How long have you been in a depression, and how did you get out of it?

I know you've probably read this from me before, but I've been dragging around in a depression for over two months now, and it shows no sign of going away. Every once in a while, I'll have tiny flickers of feeling OK, but they disappear really quickly. (I'm bipolar 2, FWIW. Or at least that's the current theory. Sometimes, past pdocs have decided I'm simply clinically depressed.)

I don't think I've been stuck in a depression for this long a time before. I'm more used to feeling good, then plunging down into a depression, then clawing my way up into something approaching normal, then repeat cycle. This being so depressed for so long has me really worried. (And my pdoc, too, who has no answers. A second opinion will no doubt be in the works, probably once I get over the wonderful withdrawal symptoms of getting off Lexapro, which my pdoc is taking me off very slowly.)

So, what's the longest that anyone out there has been in a depression? And how did you get out of it? Was it meds? Or something else? And if it was something else, what was it?

Desperately grasping at straws here,

Havana

Yep, Tortoise, graduate school starts in about five weeks. ULP.

Havana

Hi, GreenTeaHero. Thanks for your note.

I'm going to school to get a master's in social work--so that I can become a counselor!! ) Right now, I'm interested in hospice work--I've been volunteering for a local hospice, doing respite work (and lately, also office work) for over 1 1/2 years, and I'm also interested in working with people who have chronic diseases. When I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome, I went to two different rheumatologists for opinions. Each just handed me pain meds, asked which I'd like, and told me that my life was pretty much over. That, I felt, was no way to treat another person. And I'd hope that, as a counselor, I'd be able to help others. (Even if, many times, I can't seem to help myself. ;-( )

I figure that, in my classes, I'll learn about all sorts of areas of social work that I haven't even considered and that I might get interested in. So, I'm not yet sure what my end goal is.

And I admit to being both excited and scared about going back to school. My computer skills aren't that great, and I'm not sure how to make them better. I guess ask people for help whenever I need to.

I hadn't had any interest in knitting for quite a while, which is pretty weird for someone who has a tattoo that reads "Born to Knit" on her arm. But I've gotten back into it again, and I can kinda lose myself in it for a while, which is good. I'm working on a pullover that's pretty mindless. Can't seem to concentrate on much with the continued bliss (?) of the drug withdrawal going on. I should be done withdrawing from Lexapro in about two weeks.

Even though it's hideously hot and muggy, I've been dragging myself and my dog on walks most days. We were just out for a little over a half-hour. I'm sweating, and Eddie the Dog is panting, so we must've gotten some physical good outta that.

Today I go to a knitting group, for which I'm the "go-to" person. That's usually enjoyable, and sometimes I can forget about how lousy I feel for a while.

I find books and lose myself in them for a while, which is also good. And I try to get out of the house and do stuff with my friends. A number of them are away on vacation, which puts a damper on things, at least for the moment.

Tomorrow I see my pdoc AND my therapist. A red letter day! Two docs in one day! Whhoooooo-hoooooooooooooo!

It's just scary for me to feel depressed for so long. I'm used to bouncing back from a depression and feeling better again. I'm scared about being stuck in this depression forever and ever. It makes me realize why people give up.

Thanks, GreeTeaHero, for your words of encouragement. I hope that, even though your therapist's office got mangled in the fire, you'll be able to get in to see him/her really soon. You'd think he/she would have alternative facilities set up somewhere, wouldn't you? How are YOU feeling?

Warmly,
Havana

Thanks for your kind words, Tortoise! I probably sound much more organized than I am. Believe me, I'm not. Much of the time, I just crawl into bed and hope to fall asleep and hide from the whole thing. Really.

This depression ain't liftin', and it's scarin' the crap outta me!

There are so many things I need to accomplish before I go to grad school, and I seem to be utterly frozen in place. Can't do much of anything. Sigh.

Gotta go off to my knitting group. Hope it'll get my mind off ME for a while.

Hugs to you all,
Havana