Can I ? Should I? Will I feel better or worse? critiquing my decisions and choices? Will it help me or help others? Can I? Will I? Should I?
My life, whooo boy, has spiraled and spiraled further and further down into an abyss now called mine.
The one where I must now spend all my time
Through shattered dreams
and silent screams
I've come to rest in a place I now call mine
Through tortured times
nights that were fast and loose
To the stopping ground that's like a tightening noose
slowly, ever so slowly tightening around my neck
where soon it will crack and all will be SILENCED
How long have I been like this?? I wonder,
for as long as I remember.
The youth I can't seem to grasp. Seems just out of reach
The promiscuity,in my youth,
Where there seems to be no truth, no vision, no sight
seems like it never exisited
but here I lie
promiscuity that's not understood.
Just to carry over and continue on its destructive coarse through out the years.
bringing many many tears
Lots of good times, lots of bad
just to make me grow old and sad
Where has this youth gone? I ask
The one without the mask?
for the one I've lived has no me
so what could it possibly be?
Was I a criminal at three?
Maybe at heartbreaker at four?
Where did my youth go?
It's just gone out a door
One that was behind me
Because I didn't see
Who am I? who's the real me?
And what on earth was I suppose to be?
My life has taken many turns
many crooks in the way
from bar rooms to hotel rooms
many would say
Most I don't remember,
most I don't care
But I would just like to know what exactly brought me here?
Before you, I say,
this is what I have left
the pretty one has gone away
and this is what's left
the fun one has vanished
to this disease I've fallen
to my world I bow before you
all stoic and such
not a complaint will I speak
I've learned so much
this disease has made me
I am who i am
what else can i say?
sorry folks it just happened
~Tina~
