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I need help 2 save my family living w/ BP is killing me

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 1/18/2005 3:38 AM (GMT 0)
I have just gotta get off this roller-coaster and take hold of my life if i can living with this damm thing called Bipolor.The doctor's told 2 years ago that i was BP but thats all they told me put me on a bunch of meds. and sent me home.Now that i got this computer this year I could find out what BP was. When i first opened a site I looked and laughed out loud I thought oh my god they are talking about me.In the past month it's been really bad,i've pushed my husband away because he couldn't handle me anymore he has left me and moved out of town,my 3 kids say all i do is yell all the time,i've lost my job,but in the mean time i found a new spot were no one knows me's at the local pub,i feel like someone there.They want me 2 fill in a bunch of paper's for ODSP I just don't know how to tell someone what i go through each day, just to keep my head on straight and not spinning off.No one in my family understands they just say i'm feeling sorry for my self. Is there any one who can help! confused
Posted 1/27/2005 10:46 PM (GMT 0)
Hi bipolor@31--

I'm sorry things are going so badly for you. I just want you to know that someone understands.

I am 29 and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2000. I'm on meds and have a therapist and a great support system, plus I'm in a 12-step program, but I still have days when I feel terrible. I've been through several really bad episodes, and the best thing I can tell you is that it does get better.

The first thing I would do in your situation is contact the county or city mental health board. They can help you with anything you could possibly need--finding a new job, applying for benefits such as SSI (Supplemental Security Income) or SSDI (Social Security Disability Insurance), getting low-cost or free mental health care and meds, finding a support group. Also, see if your county or city has a chapter of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). I've done volunteer work for NAMI, so I can attest to the fact that they are an excellent organization.

Another thing that may help you is to contact the psychiatry department at the nearest hospitals and see if they are doing any clinical trials for people with bipolar disorder. You can get free meds that way and they reimburse you for travel and time that you spend at the hospital, plus you may even get a small stipend.

Next, it might be a good idea to contact Alcoholics Anonymous. Many people with mental illness do become addicted to alcohol and other drugs. Obviously I'm not a mental health professional and can't make a diagnosis, but it sounds to me like you're using alcohol in an unhealthy way.

Hang in there! It will get better. As they say in 12-step programs, keep coming back. Let us know how you're doing.

 

Posted 2/26/2005 1:51 AM (GMT 0)
Hey,

I'm not bipolar but I have a bipolar child and I used to work in an inpatient psych ward at the local hospital. We used to have a lot of people who would cycle in and out of the ward. It's important to keep trying different combinations of meds until you find one that works. All of the people that I encountered needed more than one med to make them functional.
It is tough to get out of the shadow of labels: the yeller, the sick one, etc. For everyone, it is sometimes easier to talk to strangers than those who you feel are judging you or waiting for you to fail. The best thing that you can do with your kids is be honest with them. Talk to them about the disorder, share the literature and information you find with them. For what it is worth, kids will be harder on people they trust than people they fear will abandon them. My kids are a lot meaner to me than their noncustodial father because they are afraid if they are honest to him about their feelings, he will disappear and never return. They may be scared or confused. They may not understand that it is something that cannot be controlled and that you aren't doing it "on purpose." Try finding examples of times when they've experienced mood swings to help them understand what it feels like without saying, "you do it too..." They may be afraid it is going to happen to them, that they will lose you, etc.
Tasks and activities with bipolar are often highly motivational. Perhaps if you find something you really enjoy doing, you will be able to sustain it. In the meantime, the suggestions by Catlady are good.
You should definitely be seeing a therapist for at least one session per week. Your doctor should have some suggestions or you can try 2-1-1 for information about what is available in your area.
You are not alone. We are here and there are no judgments.

jill
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