He's off his meds

I've been married to my husband for almost 14 years now, we were together 5 years before that.  He was diagnosed Bipolar 1 after our daughter was born in 1998.  He's tried lithium which didn't work, and Lamictal most recently, along with an antidepressant, I'm not sure which one,which made his moods more stable, but he never was very happy or easy going.  Anyway, we don't have health insurance, and we just can't afford the Lamictal, so he's decided to stop taking it.  Things have been getting gradually rougher, with last night being the worst.  He's stressed, angry, mean with his words, and last night he wanted to be intimate with me in a way that I don't want.  So he ended up sleeping on the couch.

I always end up feeling like the bad guy when things like this happen, which hasn't happened in a long time, because of the meds I'm sure.  I feel like I'm to blame for his anger and even though I know he's bipolar, I can't help feeling the way I do.  This was a cycle we went through many times early in our relationship, and for as long as we've been together, it isn't any different now than it was then.  How do I believe that it's him, not me, which I know it is.  I feel guilty, afraid, like I'm walking on eggshells, and I'm worried for my kids, who are 12 and 8 and don't understand this at all.  Does anyone else go through this, or have any suggestions for me?  Thanks so much everyone.

The maker of Lamictal has a program for people that have a hard time paying for medications. You pay $10 and get a year's supply free.

I can't keep a job. I live with my fiance who supports me. Because I have a son, the state pays for my health care. EVERYTHING! Medications, medication management, hospitalizations. I don't have a premium or copay on Dr's because I have no earned income.

In fact, we may not get married because his health insurance is so expensive that he only gets major-medical-insurance, and my treatment cost is high.

My medications are about $500 per month now, and have been as high as $800-900 per month earlier this year. My copay is $10 per $100 of medication. I've paid $5 for meds this month.

I remember feeling so HELPLESS, but if you know where to look, there is almost always a way.

If you feel safe sharing your state and county, and what medications he (should be) on, we'd be happy to help you look for resources to get affordable care.