New to the forums

Welcome, SS !
My history is similar, depressed from a very early age due to such an unhappy home. In the dark ages, it was mistakenly diagnosed as schizophrenia. Then they turned the dx system around and realized they had bipolar mixed up with schizo, in the US that is. ( US said, look at Britain, they have so many BPs, less schizos, the opposite of us. Do we have it backwards? OMG, we do. Sorry about that folks. This from several pdocs, pathetic)
Anti psychotics they gave me didn't work of course, and was accused of not taking them and given injectables, which still didn't work. My 1st antidepressant was Tofranil, and coupled with speed walking to the bus station every day, worked great, I was NEVER happier.
Only 19. After that had bouts of serious depression, didn't respond well to ad's except for a short time. No response to mood stabilizers after BP dx. Spent thousand on meds. WHAT TO DO ! Whenever I forced myself to speed walk, even for 20 min a day, noted great improvement, better sleep.
Now I'm 60. I don't "speed" anything anymore. Last depression just slept day and night for a couple weeks, did I say "just". Now am nocturnal for a change, ha ha, and yesterday didn't sleep for 24 hrs, was glued to the internet. Finding everything very funn, laughing out loud for the 1st time in AGES. I am calling it a remission . And I have no appetite. If I could just get myself to go out of the house daily. Doctor had freaked out when I started itching with Lamictal, the last stabilizer, then I weaned off the ad's. Am trying diet and vitamin supplementation. My next goal, long range, is going to Curves which is close to my home and free with Secure Horizons Medicare...Sandy

Thank you so much for the warm welcome! While it's not good that we have these issues, it is indeed good know I'm not going through these things alone. I've met a few other people with the same conditions on both LiveJournal and a Harry Potter forum I frequent - sounds odd, but in getting to "know" people on these two places, I have met my very best friends in the world. I've only not met one of them in person so far, and my best friends, I've know for over 6 years. Crazy, huh? It can be a great place for like individuals.

I have found that exercise helps sometimes, when I'm down. It's making myself get up and out and do it that is the problem. I have been trying to make a point of doing it until recently. I have two dogs that need the exercise, so it's a win all the way around. But summers here are in the 90's or so, and this summer has been worse than usual. I have asthma also, so walking in that kind of heat is hard for me. Not great for them either, until dusk or early morning - which for me is get my butt in gear time - and some days, it takes hours. One of the worst things about me is that when I really hit rock bottom, I have, in the past, hurt myself. Which I hate, but there are times when I fight it sooo hard. I even got a tattoo in my "usual spot" to try to remind myself this is a bad, bad thing for me to do.

I'm currently on Cymbalta, 90 mg a day; Lamictal 200 mg twice a day, Klonopin .5 mg as needed, and Trazadone to help me sleep if needed - I take anywhere from a quarter tab to a whole tab, depending. I try to take as little as possible. I've also got CFS and I'm OCD. My sleep stinks - I'm constantly up/down, tossing and turning, and I get migraines frequently. I feel like a medical disaster and a walking pharmacy. lol I've got a tub of stuff I take - half of which is vitamins and supplements - for allergies and carpal tunnel also. Argh... I've tried so many AD's and mood stabilizers...the combo I'm on now has been a godsend.

I'm working full time, I do technical support. Although it is a plus that I get to work from home - it's probably the most stressful job I've ever done in my life, and it's the one I've done the longest/most. I stopped doing it in 2003, I got so burned out I would sit at my desk and cry. I quit, and started my own pet sitting business. It grew nicely and then I had to give it up in 2007 when we were forced to move out of state. Now...not sure I want to go down that road again. I love it, don't get me wrong, but it is tiring, and a lot of responsibility. Also very rewarding though. Here in NC where I live is so different than where I used to live in VA - the vast majority of people here don't seem to have the same regard for pets. I can't explain it well. But bottom line is, I have a difficult time with the neglect here, and the amount of animals that run loose and wind up on the roadside. It's a whole other issue I have going on there - obsessive and debilitating at times. Major trigger.

So, in regard to work, I miss alot of time. I'm currently out, this is a full week as of today. I have bronchitis, but I'm not getting better, so I'm back to the doc tomorrow morning. I fear for my job, and that's stressful. Working it is stressful. I tend to shut down when I'm stressed - I get ill, and I sleep alot, and lack energy. I'm going to ask my doc about seeing an immunologist, disability, and ask him to do a mono test.

I'm seriously considering trying for at least partial disability - given the BP and the CFS alone - but I still would love to work - at something less stressful. I think part of my problem is the customer-facing fields - I don't do well with that. I am currently taking a short course in medical coding - something I could do from home down the road. I like it, so far, and my sister does it for a living. She thinks it's a good thing for me to try.