plummeting

Such as listen to something or watch something you think is funny.   Like for me I watch Golden Girls or Designing Women for an hour to two hours a day (more if I need it). I agree with It's Genetic about sleep in that for when I am having issues with sleeping appropriately, such as normal circadian rhythms, so I use black out shades. Especially if I need to catch up on sleep due to illness related sleep depreviation. But also in having issues with some possible seasonal effective disorder then I have found more light during daylight might be helpful (and there are even these lights that are suppose help). I know I have to have pretty much all the lights on in my place right now, when I am up and about.

Like I said I know there are no garantees when it comes to health, but these are just some suggestions that I have found helpful for myself.

Can I ask you to do something: just shine your bathroom sink?  Or go out to lunch/dinner?  I do not care which the first one takes 90 seconds.   The second one takes longer, but will get you around people, and I find both helpful.

MMMNAVY, your suggestions are appreciated and helpful.  We get Netflix and have been watching reruns of the show Monk.  Love it and it helps.  I am not good though about seeking out things that make me laugh. Don't know why.  I should make it a goal to read the comics every day.  Sleep is good.  Change in light is bothering me and have been having more lights on, even if not energy efficient.  I have been having a thing for Chick-fil-a's Icedream cones recently.  Will go through the driveway and get one then park and eat it while listening to NPR. Just did that. Since I have been sick with cold and more depressed husband been doing dishes.  I should still shine the sink.  I think between the cold and anticipating moving, I am not following through with flylady but I plan to get back to it.

Tortoise, I am glad you eliminated the most stressful thing and are getting back on track.  The most stressful thing for me is moving - I just have to endure and get through it.

However, after complete and total meltdown last night I woke up at 4;30 (unusual) and realized that I may not have been taking all my medicines.  I fill my pill box Sunday night and call in any refills then.  I forgot to pick up the refills and had been off the Risperdone probably at least a day.  I was so agitated in bed and clearly going into withdrawal.  Took a klonipin, got refill this morning, have taken it and while feeling shaky am better.  I also cried in my therapist's office for an hour today about how empty I feel inside.  Good release - getting close to some very tender, vulnerable, sad and lonely places that I have covered a long time, though I have been in therapy for years. 

Now I have to go tape some boxes together.

Again, thanks to both of you.  It is of comfort to know you are out there and care.

Thanks for your thoughts and suggestions.  I have been in therapy for years and one would think that I would have covered everything enough by now.  I think what is going on is that this whole crisis is peeling back so many layers and I am not finding much on the inside right now.  So I am crying out of grief, feeling lost and empty.  It is good to release... it just doesn't seem to stop and no positive input seems to stick.  Just bad, bad tapes going round and round and no amount of prayer or trying to think positively seems to help.  I have to get through this move.  Cleaning up and packing up things is stirring up so much loss and grief.  Do things get better?  I just want to know that things will be better at some point.  I want to be stronger and have more courage.

Sun

TTU, I appreciate the encouragement.  I need a life coach myself!  Unfortunately both hiring a life coach or training as a life coach (which would seem ridiculous for me to try to pose as right now) costs so much money, as you noted.  Ah, the things that could be done to improve life and mental well-being if one had money to do them.  However, I am grateful to have health insurance, so no complaints here.

Tortoise and Caren, thanks for your well wishes.  I feel like such a downer, but today is not much better than the others.  I am already at a loss, then this move makes the being at a loss even greater.  And the light change is bothering me.  Our move date is Nov. 26.  Fortunately, we will still have several weeks after that to get things out of the house - don't want to drag it out too long but does take some pressure off.

Thanks again for listening to me.  I wish I could be more up and positive, I really do.  I haven't always been this way.

Sun

TTU - thanks for clarifying your suggestions.  I will check into it.  Glad you found some guidance that helps you prepare for your trip. And trazadone - that's a good drug. Yes, we have a good Good Will here. Have to look carefully and patiently, but I have found some really attractive pieces there and very nice shoes that have never been worn.  Not every time, but enough to make it worth my while when money is tight, I've changed sizes, and need something new.  Hope you find something new that you really will enjoy.

I am so far from being ready to move though.  Nothing is packed, except the children have packed some of their rooms - they jumped right into it.  I have been sorting through and getting rid of books that go back 55 years - my dad's library, then a bunch of books someone else passed on to me, then my books and my husband's books - college and graduate school - then the novels and such that you collect over the years.  This is taking me all weekend: which ones to send to recycling, which to Good Will, which to keep.  So I feel like I am just on the beginning laps of the moving race although the time is drawing nigh.

My husband is not overwhelmed by all of this.  That is a really good thing as 2 of us overwhelmed would be a huge problem!