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What do I do when my son is panicking?

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Posted 4/1/2011 4:58 AM (GMT 0)
I need advice. My 16 year old son was recently diagnosed as bipolar with ADHD. The lithium caused stomach problems, and he is now taking depakote, seraquel, clonazapam, and remeron. These are working with moderate success, but he is still having breakdowns where he is curled up on the sofa crying and repeating himself. What is the best thing to try to help him through these? I have found that if I leave him alone by stepping into the other room and monitor him that way he is able to gather himself quicker sometimes. Othertimes, I have seen that if I turn on the TV very low to a show that he likes, he can get distracted. What is the best thing to do? Should I try to talk to him and answer him when he is yelling or what? I just want to do what is best, and this is very new and I am learning and trying but I feel that I am failing more than helping. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
Posted 4/1/2011 6:11 PM (GMT 0)
For each person what they need may be different, but what you've described sounds exactly what I would need if I were in that moment. I fight very hard not to let those moments take over but sometimes its all too much.
I was trying to play softball (something I'm pretty decent at) I lost it on the field and started crying and shaking, I tried not to make it noticeable but I knew I couldn't hold on much longer and so, at the end of the inning my friend walked me into the dugout let me sit at the end away from everyone. I didn't have to explain my behavior because everyone gave me my space. That space allowed me to gain some composure and though I stayed in the dugout I was able to watch the game.
Sorry for the long explanation but what I'm getting at is you being there for support even if its at a close distance helps. If he's asking questions you can try to answer. Just reassure him that it's going to be ok and that you love him. The calmer you stay the easier it will be for him to feed off of.
I don't know if any of this helps but I hope it does. You are doing a good job, I know it's not always easy but the fact that you care enough to look for answers speak volumes.
Good luck
Posted 4/1/2011 7:38 PM (GMT 0)
I agree with Not2L8 about it being different for each person. It sounds like you've found a few ways to help.

Something that helped me was mindfulness meditation. When my therapist introduced it to me, I thought it was really stupid. But it works for me!

My first "defense" is my dog. She is a psychiatric service dog. She is trained to react to any display of emotion. If I am depressed or crying, she is pawing at me trying to get a response. If I am hypomanic or having an anxiety attack, she will lay on top of me (deep pressure therapy).

I "am" symptom-free now. But I missed two doses of one med and started into a little hypomania. My dog's reaction to me made me realize something was wrong and I did what I needed to minimize my mood.
Posted 4/2/2011 1:28 AM (GMT 0)
Not - I just read your note... I really needed to hear what you said. Thank you more than you could ever know -- the same to you, tortoise..... Today was better, and we are just going to keep trying. He has a friend over, and they are upstairs laughing.... the best music I could ever hear....
Posted 4/2/2011 1:54 AM (GMT 0)

mjeffwhit said...
I need advice. My 16 year old son was recently diagnosed as bipolar with ADHD. The lithium caused stomach problems, and he is now taking depakote, seraquel, clonazapam, and remeron. These are working with moderate success, but he is still having breakdowns where he is curled up on the sofa crying and repeating himself. What is the best thing to try to help him through these? I have found that if I leave him alone by stepping into the other room and monitor him that way he is able to gather himself quicker sometimes. Othertimes, I have seen that if I turn on the TV very low to a show that he likes, he can get distracted. What is the best thing to do? Should I try to talk to him and answer him when he is yelling or what? I just want to do what is best, and this is very new and I am learning and trying but I feel that I am failing more than helping. Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

 

My 18 year old son was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was 12. He is also ADHD. He has been on numerous medications over the years. The tricky thing with kids is that their bodies are always changing and a medication that worked 6 months ago may not work now, and their emotions are unstable just by being teenagers but now there is a disorder thrown in as well.

I have been through many episodes of emotional meltdowns with my son and it's heartbreaking. Usually he doesn't want to talk so I let him have a quiet and safe place. If things were very bad he was allowed to call his therapist and that would help. I found fussing over him didn't go over well, but I would reassure him that I was nearby if he needed me.

For the most part these episodes would end and he would feel better, I think I was the one who ended up more upset. You could talk with your son when he's feeling well about finding a place for doing an activity that calms him down when he's feeling upset or maye just lying down which my son does often. Your son is old enough to probably figure something out for himself. He's really the only one who knows how he feels. Overreacting on your part could make things worse. It's a hard thing for a parent to go through, we think we can fix everything.  Best of luck to you and I hope I have helped.

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