Prayers, help, something

My son is having a major meltdown - this has been going on since 1 and it is now 7:20. I don't know what to do. The doctor added Resperdol to his seroquel, clonazapam, and remeron and hopefully it will start kicking in. I feel like such a failure. He tells me that this is all my fault - his first panic was after I yelled at him about chemistry and him not doing homework and lying about it. If I had had restraint, but that is water under the bridge. He is so scared of the medicine - can that keep it from working if he just does not believe in it? We had four wonderful days and this is ripping me. His father's mom was bipolar and he just wants to take our son to the hospital because he has so many memories of his mom and cannot deal with this at all, but that is his biggest fear in the world and the doctor says not yet but we are fighting (my husband and I) over all of this and I have lost my son right now and my dad died a little over a month ago and I am going to lose my marriage and I am so sad and I do not know what to do. He is just crying right now and he says his stomach hurts, which I am sure it does after what he has gone through today, and I don't know what to do and I just some tiny bit of happiness back for all of us. Is anyone have family members on the resperdol or are on it themselves? Any hope and suggestions would be wonderful right now. I am feeling like such a bad mom for all of this. I want my son back and some sort of peace..... am I asking too much?

When I get overwhelmed and at the end of my rope...when I'm holding on so hard my arms are stretched like ribbons...this is when I most need to let go of other people's problems and focus on myself and what I can do to change me.

You can't change your son. He has his own path to walk. He has his own things to sort out. We all do. You can be there for him without losing your self to fears. It is hard. I go to support groups for this.

Try to get some counseling for yourself. It all begins with you. When you change others around you change because your perception and mode of being comes from a whole different level. You want things to be a certain way but they aren't. sometimes the worst things in life turn out to be blessings.

I too am having a rough time with my son and husband. They are both drinking and smoking pot together. My son is failing senior year. My husband has relapsed from being a sober man. I am going to meet a my sponsor in al anon this morning for breakfast because I am at my wits end. I am trying to control everything and it's making me and everyone around me crazy. Al anon is good for friends and family members of bipolar. We have several members who talk about it.

Know that we are here for you holding cyber hands and giving cyber hugs. I will send you light blue healing energy now.

Post Edited (red lightening) : 4/6/2011 8:43:24 AM (GMT-6)