HealingWell
Search Close Search
☰

BiPolar questions

Support Forums
>
Bipolar Disorder
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply
❬ ❬ Previous Thread |Next Thread ❭ ❭
Posted 5/19/2011 5:01 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

I found this site through a google search and like what I'm reading. Lots of compassionate people trying to help each other. I need that.

I've fought taking meds for my condition over the last several years. Based on my family members and history, this is something almost all of my family has dealt with. They've been supportive and pushed me in the right direction. I recently lost my job and my last relationship was a complete disaster. There are other things I dealt with as a kid that I've carried all through life.

A couple of years ago my doctor prescribed 25 mg of Paxil. I tried it and did feel a benefit for a short while but I stopped because I could not deal with the sexual side effects. Figured I could handle it on my own.

After my job loss and the past couple of years of stress and withdrawal, I had a meltdown on Mothers Day while visiting my family. We had a family meeting and I was convinced to get help with my doctor and meds.

I'm currently taking 150 mg of Bupropion 1x a day and 10mg of Paroxetine 2x a day. That's been for the last 2 weeks. I'm dealing with the side effects but I'm wondering if this is the right diagnosis.

I attended my local NAMI's monthly meeting last night and picked up some literature. Both on depression and biploar conditions. The more I read the more I think I'm bipolar. While I do go through episodes of depression I have serious highs and lows. The mania described in the pamphlets I picked up described me.

I'm not the expert and I'm looking to my doc and the local free (thank God) resources that can help me.

I guess my question is, has anyone started off being diagnosed as depressed and then found they were really bipolar? And if so, how did you find out and change your mediaction?

I'm due back at the doc on 5/31 for a checkup so I'm going to lay it out for him there. The things I've read make me think that a mood stabilizer is the way to go rather than anti-depressants.

Thank you so much.
Posted 5/19/2011 9:09 PM (GMT 0)
Hi John,

I've spent 40 years with undiagnosed bipolar. However the medication I was on is the same treatment for bipolar.

When my antidepressants stopped working, I was prescribed a mood stabiliser to maximise the effectiveness of the antidepressants and when that stopped working, I was prescribed another antidepressant on top. Now that has stopped working. So we keep juggling, juggling.

I think it is very worthwhile to discuss your thoughts with your doctor. I'm always amazed how instantly my doctor can clarify things I might have spent hours agonising over.

Every case is so different, and although we can be helped by hearing other people's stories and suggestions, I think it is important we don't get freaked out about something that doesn't work for someone else, and we still do what we, in consultation with our psychiatrists believe might be the most effective action.

I wish you all the best with it.
Posted 5/19/2011 9:21 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you very much living well. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

The more I hear from my family, read on websites, and as I heard last night at the NAMI meeting it is apparent that finding the right medication and therapy is or can be a long road of trying different things. I think that has me a bit freaked out as well.

Without health benefits and no job (although a month into collecting unemployment) I find myself increasingly worried about the financial aspect of my treatment. I am finding out quickly however that there are many resources available to people in my situation. Some I do not qualify for simply because in the first 4 months of this year + my unemployment benefits I still have too much income to qualify. Regardless, there are many free or volunteer resources out there.

Again, thank you for taking the time to respond.
Posted 5/20/2011 1:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hello John, wow .your post reminds me of myself. I too was diagnosed as only depressed when I was 15 1/2, and put on Zoloft, then for the sexual side effects I switched to Paxil years later. It did make me feel better, but a few years later I would be hit with the big BP.....I did well for a while on just Paxil, had my first major episode -- which at the time I thought I was losing my mind, and thought I was just having a nervous breakdown, but in actuality it was a true bipolar episode. I was then prescribed Klonopin to take with the paxil as needed and did fine for 4 years and then just this past November I started to spiral again due to MAJOR life stress: husband lost his job and we have 3 kids and live way beyond our means anyways -- so 5 months later, after my paxil pooped out on me we are on the road to using mood stabilizer and antidepressant to get me level -- so far so good. Did not think this day would come I was doing soo bad....I have a husband, 3 kids and full time job and I just have fight, fight, fight to get better. Its not been easy, but if you are able to find a good psychiatrist (you should be able to find one at a free mental health clinic) that will help you out and get you stabilized. My doc says that those who are BP cannot rely just on anti-depressant alone, they have to have mood stabilizer to the mix. My meds right now are Cymbalta and Depakote, and Klonopin as needed for anxiety. This is a great forum with awesome encouraging people!!

I will pray that you find relief very soon!! Keep posting and God Bless! Stephanie
Posted 5/20/2011 12:12 PM (GMT 0)
hey John,

Sounds like you are doing everything right. One of the most dangerous symptoms of BP is denial. There is little chance of treatment if you are in denial.

Keep going to counselling, stay away from alcohol and take your meds. Believe it or not, you have crossed the BIGGEST hurdle, acknowledging the illness and seeking help.

Congrats.
Posted 5/20/2011 3:51 PM (GMT 0)
Wow, I am seriously touched by all of you. Thank you so much for posting and telling your stories and offering advice. It means so much to me that you would care to do so.

I'm in the middle of a beautiful, bright Friday morning in suburban Chicago and just came back home from an errand. Yet, I'm feeling down and ready to withdraw. I'm supposed to join my buddies tonight for a concert and I'm already starting to panic. My hands are shaking as I write this. I took my meds this morning and will take the 2nd dose of paxil this pm but I'm wondering how I will get through it. None of them yet know that I'm seeking help for mental illness and I do think they'll understand when I tell them but, I don't want to be a "downer" for tonight. Although, rereading the posts above is giving me the strength to get through the day.

My family has told me about focusing on one day at a time but that's just not in my nature. My job in advertising required me to think ahead and plan. This is going to be a real challenge to change my lifestyle and focus. Living alone is tough, even though the calls to my family help lots. Still, sometimes I need someone in front of me to make it sink in. This forum is a major help. I know I need to focus on the positive in my life but there just doesn't seem to be a whole lot of that right now.

I'm going to get on with this day now. Maybe head out again to focus on something else, come home and do some laundry, get ready for tonight. I'm planning on visiting family this weekend (have done so for the previous 2), so I'll focus on that and try not to worry about money.

Thanks again to you all. I'm know I'm not alone.

John
Posted 5/20/2011 8:35 PM (GMT 0)
No you are not alone, and yes the only way to make it when feeling in crisis is ONE DAY AT A TIME.....as for this evening, have a wonderful time with your friends, even if its a scary thought, try your best to take deep breaths if you feel anxious/panicy and even though our minds might not like it, we DO have to focus on the positive when we are facing trials and tribulations.

Try to have a great time and weekend! Stephanie
Posted 5/21/2011 8:07 AM (GMT 0)
Hi John,
You seem to have such an open mind, honest with yourself (and others), and committed to do whatever works. I don't want to get your hopes up but I reckon you will have this illness reined in quite well, within a reasonable timeframe. Although it may not always been easy, I reckon you have a pretty good attitude for getting the best possible results. Enjoy the time with your mates and your family... well done for making sure you keep doing the things that make life that little bit brighter. :)
Posted 5/21/2011 11:35 AM (GMT 0)
Mood disorders seem to be hard to diagnose initally, really pin it down. But what difference does it make what label you have? I mean if you know something is out of whack, then working very hard to be well and healthy as possible will only benefit you and reduce whatever meds you need, thus reducing side effects, etc. Realizing the fact that you do need a little extra attention in this area of your life is a big step toward finding a constructive way of dealing with it.

Take extra good care of yourself, explore all options, stay open minded to avenues of help but remember, no one knows you like you do.

Hope you find your path to wellness soon.

Gem
Posted 5/26/2011 11:13 PM (GMT 0)
Hi John,
How are you travelling?
✚ New Topic ✚ Reply