hi to all that may be able to help... i am a 54 yr old woman who came down with polymyostis an auto immune disease of the muscels. I had to come to live with my mother, which before diagnosed thought i was over working, had fatigue and alot of pain and weakness. After thinking i could go to mom's and rest and take time off from work, become refreshed and go back to work. Well that didn't happen, i became increasingly ill and was hospitalized with a cpk level of 11,000. This happen in oct/09 at current date my cpk level has come down to 140 range. Which is excellent. I'm on the mend, but the longer i'm here living with my mother the more i'm realzing my mother may have some kind of chemical inbalance.
She has severe rage, anger, volative moods. Some really high moods and some very bad depression. She has been a recovering alcoholic for 16 year but, still has not found any serenity or overall harmony in her life. She berates me, uses the foulest language, nasty always looking for a fight and is extremely jealous of everyone. Super judgemental and always miserable unless she's doing retail therapy. Nordstroms or Macy's oh yea Chico's her favorite.
She hit's below the belt with the most horrific things a mother could say to a daughter. She was on premerane for over 25 years, and 6 months ago came down with high blood pressure, which brings on migraines.I don't know if i should call her primary doctor and talk to him . I'd love my brothers to come with, but they have more or less removed themselves out of her life. It's very sad to see, expecialluy since i have 3 children who call me daily, and a grandson who i adore.
She was enabled by my dad who passed in 1992, he invested well and my mom is very well taken care of financially. Doesn't have to worry about money. But nothing makes her happy. One would think after 16 years in a 12 step program she would have a few women sponsees. But she tried, and they ran from her because she was so brutal to them and could not tolerate any kind mistakes or screwing up. She has no patience and credisises any thing they do from biting nails. to twrilling hair.... So needless to say these newcomers would think she was cool but once they got under her thumb they ran away. that right there is telling me something is wrong.
Lately she has become extremely abusive verbally, and has even tried to become physically abusive. I was beaten by her all by childhood life and now there is no way that will ever happen.
I don't know how many i'm sorry notes she has left for me after one of her esipodes. She also lies alot. She wants friends and relatives to think that i'm some ungrateful piece of sh--! Ihear her on the phone straight up lying to her friends. It makes me so hurt and confused. i'll call her out on it with tears running down my face, you have to remember stress is a big part of my condition and i don't do very well with it. She'll deny everything denying lying and telling me i'm the one who is crazy and stop carrying on about nothingl I'm at a total loss here. I am going to a physic doc. who has put me on lamictal, but i'm not doing well on the drug, i've tried 2 weeks now and have broke out with sores on my gums,and just hasn't done anything to me but make me more agitated and depressed. Why do i have to be on more meds, when she has the problem. I'm already trying to wean off methotrexate. i finally finished prendisone. started out with 60 mgs. and now no more of that drug. if my cpk's level out, he'll start takng me down on the methotrexate. It's been a tuff year plus. Luckily my daughter and grandson are coming for a visit in july. hopefully it will pick up my spirits and not put my mom into a tail spin.She already laid down the ground rules, they can only come for a week. I am really pissed about that, but it's her home so i'm sh...t out of luck. Thankfully i've become friends with a group of neighbors who have embraced me open there homes to me so i do have a safe haven to go to if my mom starts up her crazy ways, while company is here. My daughter works hard and is a single parent, it's hard on her because i was always there for her picking up my grandson or helping out as much as i can.just wanted to know if these are signs of BPD or just old age??? can anywone relate to my problem? i don't feel as if i should medicate myself in order to deal with her. How to get her to maybe think it's a possibility that she may have this disorder is going to be really hard. well just wanted to throw it out there. please help, god bless and keep posting. sometimes i feel like i'm in the twilght zone. good nite it's already 3am and i get so caught up on the pc can't go on during the day have to hide my lap top because if shefound out i was on the net. she would have it turned off......... bye for now.. sweet dreams out there..