Need Advice

This is my first time on here- thanks for reading my post. My wife is bipolar, and an alcoholic. After a long road of struggle, including suicide attempts, she went through a 30 day treatment program in June and is now in a 6 month recovery house. I have been left to manage our household, including two children, ages 5 and 7.
The programs she is in appear to have made a difference for her- she has changed her attitude and dedicated herself to recovery. However, I still have many feelings of anger and resentment, and though we've tried to talk about things, it always leads to the same result- arguing. She is asking me now to let go of my anger and try to work towards the future- join groups to help sort out my feelings. But I feel that this marriage has nothing more to offer and I don't see any point in trying to salvage it.

Am I wrong for feeling this way? I don't want to be the one to finally call it quits, but I just don't have any desire to try again, after so many times of being supportive and being rejected.

I'll start with that for now- thanks.

Thank you. What's so frustrating now is that the burden is falling on me to decide our future. I feel I've made up my mind, but then that means I'm the one who will take the blame for our demise. I'm expected to want to work on it, but I don't want to give any more of my life to something that has not worked. Confused...

Onepath,

Welcome to The Healingwell Site. This is an amazing forum & Community. It is very nice to meet you. I'm sorry you have been living thru so much with your wife's bipolar & alcoholism. I was wondering if she was diagnosed a long time ago with bipolar & if she was on medication when this current Inpatient incidence happened? Was she diagnosed with Bipolar before or after your marriage? I hope you don't mind me asking you questions? If your mind is made up that you can no longer live with her & work on your marriage then it sounds like you have made your mind up. I'm sure it has to be one of the most difficult things ever, especially having to think of your kids well-being along with yours. You will be in my thoughts, wishing you all the best.

I relate & truly feel for what you are going thru. However, in my situation I am the wife, alcoholic, recently diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Married 23 years, and we have 7-beautiful kids. I was attempting to end my life last Sept., the police came at gunpoint (rifles & firearms w/red lazer on my heart), handcuffed & taken to the hospital (luckily no charges were made on me). They put me on a lockdown on the Psych/Suicide Ward. I was there a couple weeks, & was able with the help of the Psych Doctors + Medicines to detox while there (blood alcohol level was .331 when I arrived). This was the first time in my life of ever seeing Psychiatrists/Therapists (i was 45-yrs old). When discharged I immediately started Outpatient Treatment 5-days a week for 6-months.

2-weeks after being discharged I was in a Manic Episode...My husband kicked me onto the street (where I was homeless for 3-months, had an affair (first time in 22-yrs of marriage that I had ever been unfaithful). Restraining order put on me by husband & I then put one on him. I ended up being attacked by the other man...Was in hiding for 3-months & husband found me. He begged for me to come back. I returned home, we talked about everything for days...I have been home now for 9-months. Worked extremely hard to mend my relationships with my kids. We celebrated our 23rd Wedding Anniversary July. I still see my Psych Doctor weekly/biweekly. She diagnosed me in March with Bipolar 2, Borderline (BPD), Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Ptsd. I take my meds...I have worked hard with my Sobriety 352-days sober.

It is amazing what forgiving can do, in my situation. We have lived thru a storm...I put my family thru hell & we have become better individuals by all this. Thank you for letting me share.

I truly wish only the best for you, your children, & your wife.
Your Healingwell Friend,
Serenitee

I know I sound like my mind is made up, but I'm not sure. Sometimes you think you know, but I need objective points of view. So thanks to all of you for your feedback. Especially Serenitee- thank you very much for being so open and candid about your experiences. I hope your path continues in a positive direction. To answer your questions, we've been married for 13 years, and she was diagnosed about 5 years ago, just after our daughter was born. She's been on medication since, and it worked for a while, but then she developed the alcohol problem, and things went downhill from there. The last two years have been the hardest.