Introduction - Hi there!

Hi there!

I registered to react on a topic a couple of months back. Been reading up a lot on this forum since. After a couple of months, I finally decided it's time to introduce myself.

I am a 31 year old married guy from Europe. I've been having problems in my life without really knowing a cause. I have had trouble with alcohol, prescription drugs, street drugs, gambling, overspending etcetera.

I have been reading a lot of 'local' forums as well, but it seems that this one is a better fit for me.

Somewhere around June I hit rock-bottom and I tried to commit suicide a couple of times. I went to see my GP, who is a total douche by the way, but I needed to be forwarded to an institution that could finally help me. I dislike my GP for the things he said about me feeling a bit depressed. "If someone really has something, I can understand a suicide attempt, but with you...". Guess I'll file a complaint, or just let it slide.

For some reason I was completely fed-up with the situation I was in. I hit the same low as I did almost 10 years ago, although this time I have been messing myself up a bit more, as the earlier mentioned problems indicate. In my early twenties, I went overboard on partying, spending and drinking. I got psychotic and depressed / suicidal and was put on risperdal and seroxat. I actually ended up with a lung embolism from the meds. That's kind of serious.. Never hit me as such though. Never been so zombie-like depressed before in my life... It wasn't me who initiated the help, but my parents. So I tended to be less cooperative back then. And thus after a while I just blamed it on the booze and continued my silly life.

But now, I never had this feeling before: I want to put a stop to this (in the non-destructive manner). I was eventually forwarded to an addiction treatment facility. Luckily I'm not an addict, although I have a high tendency to that stuff. A lot of that stuff. But I understand them sending me there.

So after a couple of very good talks, I realized it was time to get a grip on life again. Going to bed before 2 am , getting up before 2pm on the weekends , doing regular stuff, etcetera etcetera.

Since then, I only had a couple of beers and I didn't do any drugs. So kudos to me. I actually recently decided that I'm going to quit alcohol completely for a longer period of time, so no occasional beers. I don't drink for the same reasons other people do. I want to put myself to a halt. Just feeling better.

Been feeling completely off now I'm sober fresh. From planning flights to go on holiday only for the weekend, which I do not have the time nor money for, to feeling worthlessly miserable and yelling at my wife for nothing. Energetic = non-realistic but good, down = bad.

Guess you can say I was trying to self-medicate. I was really trying to slow myself down in a grand manner. Being extremely tired all the time might be a bad thing to some. I was a bit more relaxed and could handle myself a bit better. Of course this had a negative impact on all the other things in life. But I need to stress: I still have my job, God knows how, even though now I do struggle, and I am still married to my beautiful loving wife, who stands by me, when even I wouldn't.

A couple of talks later at this institution, I went to see a doctor specialized in addiction. Five minutes into the conversation he mentioned manic depression. Quite fast and I actually was a bit overwhelmed. That weighs a bit heavy on you. The mention of meds rubbed me the wrong way. Bad experience of course. It was not a diagnosis, but a suspicion. To verify this, I was screened a couple of times by their psychologist, who confirmed possible symptoms of bipolar disorder and I am now redirected to a psychiatric centre.

So within the next couple of days I am on my way back to the psychiatrist after almost 10 loooong years.. Who knows, I might have been posting in the wrong topic
It's only an intake session, but I'm guessing it won't be the last meeting there..

Post Edited (C-1980) : 9/19/2011 4:42:37 PM (GMT-6)

Hi there! I'm glad you're getting some things sorted out. It's tough how addiction and bipolar disorder can go hand in hand. Sometimes it is a game of chicken and egg, trying to figure out what the problem is! Getting clean and sober is the first step. I hope you get closure on the prospect of bipolar disorder when you meet with your new psychiatrist.

Don't be surprised if you get a diagnosis of Mood Disorder NOS (not otherwise specified). That means they think you have a bipolar disorder spectrum diagnosis, but need to wait and observe symptoms to make a correct diagnosis. Don't be frustrated then. I didn't understand this and my first appointment with a psychiatrist did not go well. I didn't go back to a psychiatrist for 4 years!

Best of luck to you. Please let us know how your appointment goes!

So today I've had my first appointment with the psychiatrist. In another thread I was complaining about how slow things are going, but that might also be part of a bit of a mood issue back then
It is a slow process, and yes they did plan some stuff wrong, but I'm just going to have to sit this one out.

The very nice woman told me that she suspects something like a schizoaffective disorder. She's not a 100% sure yet and wants to read through documents of my past psychotic experience. So she is going to contact my GP and so on. A very nice and thorough approach in my opinion. After checking back on the other complaining post about how long this takes, I'm clearly in a happier mood now .
I just looked some stuff up about it and this feels fitting. Let's see where this direction will take me!

Wondering if I am posting in the correct forum now

Hi there,

Just visited my pdoc today and I just wanted to post an update here. I am going to start with Seroquel tonight. See how that's going to suit my needs.

I remember when starting with Risperdal years ago, that it was a real blow to my system. I really couldn't do anything anymore. So tired and drowsy. My speech got a bit impaired and I also remember the awful restlessness in my legs..

I have been reading CamanoGirls thread about Seroquel. Do any of you guys that have experience with Seroquel know if this stuff will affect me as much as the Risperdal did in the first couple of days?

As some of you might also be, I'm a bit anxious starting with a new kind of med.

Post Edited (C-1980) : 11/9/2011 2:28:13 PM (GMT-7)

Glad to see you folks removing the coffee (caffeine is the culprit); it
takes several months to feel the full effects, but you'll feel so-oo-o-o
much better as time goes by. (That stuff accumulates in the brain and it just has to have its own time to be removed.) Keep drinking water, and I think, frankly, that lemonade helped, too. I know it's supposed to help clear the liver of toxins.

I can't speak to the med because I've never taken seroquel. 

My hat's off to you!

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/9/2011 5:15:50 PM (GMT-7)

I am sorry, CamanoGirl, but I do mean anything that contains caffeine;
chocolate contains theobromine which is a close cousin to caffeine and can cause very similar conditions to the nervous system. Your question is a valid one, because only you know whether chocolate will cause symptoms in you after several hours (that is, irritability, nervousness, inability to sleep, easily angered reactions, etc.) If you are sensitive to it, there will also be a corresponding drop in feeling tone after hours of having had a chocolate bar. (I know how you feel,
because I enjoy chocolate very much, but just cannot eat it or drink anything having chocolate in it.) It makes sinus infections much worse, as well.

Tea may containe either caffeine or theophylline, depending on the brand you purchase. They are not good for the central nervous system. Please read ruthwhalen.com/caffeine for a more thorough
explanation of her research into the matter. It will astound you.

I hope this answers your question adequately.

Take care.

I.G.

Post Edited (It's Genetic) : 11/10/2011 11:00:17 AM (GMT-7)

Seroquel is really rough to start on. Your body does adjust. In addition to confusion, stumbling, etc, I had really bad congestion!!! I have mild chronic constipation from seroquel, but no other side effects.

C-1980 said...
I also heard a lot about weight gain. Not some weight gain, but big amounts..
Would this be because of overeating, or is it something med-specific? Overeating is something I could prevent.

My psychiatrist warned me about weight gain and said I WOULD feel hungry.

I don't feel hungrier than usual. But I am more prone to binge eating, or eating unhealthy food, just because of how Seroquel affected me. Initially I was SO tired. So it was much easier to order pizza than make a healthy meal. I was just watching lots of TV and movies and wanted snack food to go along with it.

I wasn't so lethargic after I adjusted to Seroquel. But I fell into a major depressive episode. Seroquel is a mood stabiliser, so it killed my manic and hypomanic states. I was just left with depression and unfortunately I'm one of those people that eat when I'm depressed. I know some people who are depressed don't eat at all and lose weight. But that has never been me!

I gained about 10 pounds since June 30. I've come close to my weight before starting meds a bunch of times when I was more mindful of what I was eating and exercising lots.

So for me, I'd say you can try avoid over-eating and won't gain that much weight on Seroquel. It will be hard during the winter though because we are more inclined to eat more and exercise less.

Good luck:)

MAke sure you start sloooowww on Seroquel and only at night. I take 200mg for sleep/other issues for 5 years and I still do a walk into the wall once in awhile...

I,too, selfmedicated for 40 years and did alot more damage than good...we do not mature when we are high so we are chronologically older, but emotionally still very young and immature, so lots of work to do

Don't be afraid, a dx is a positive thing...keep posting

Magie