Just got back from holiday.. Had three weeks in LA and Vegas combined. When I came back the weather at home was below 40F and dark. The nice weather during the festive season in LA really did me good. It felt like a nice summer. I was really looking forward to this trip. Arranged everything months before Christmas.
The trip was very nice. But because it was a holiday, I thought I'd have some drinks, more irregular days (not even taking the jet-lag into account) etc.
Not excessively, but I completely stopped drinking before this trip. Also dicussed it with the therapist on beforehand. I'd like a nice drink at new years
. I mean, it's a holiday, and the festive season.. Thought I could put my problems on hold for a couple of days.
I know, DUHH, could have seen that one coming.
After a couple of nights in Vegas, I felt it slip back into something dark and 'dirty' (metaphor). Ended up with me throwing up the pills in the toilet to abort the attempt I just undertook. For some reason I wanted to undo it.
Bad night. The rest was awesome.
Now I am back. Since that slip-up I blocked out drinking again. Working full time again. For some reason my company thinks I am performing exceptionally well, got a nice raise... But what am I going to do now.. I have nothing to look forward to. Maybe a nice anti-depressant wil do the trick?
I am not looking for the "stop drinking", "get healthy" comments. I already know that. I already did that. Although it's your right to post 'em. Just want to put down my feelings..