First, take a big breath. You didnt become BP over night and you wont fix it overnight either. This is now a journey of the rest of your life, there will be ups and downs, expect it, deal with it, and more importantly, grow from those episodes.
Threre is great relief knowing the nature of the animal that you are facing. Now it has a name, that makes it less scary. As you get a better hold on this desease, it becomes less and less scary.
Your marriage is in a bad spot right now. But until your medication gets sraightened out, its goign to be a rough ride. In my case my meds got me back to where "normal" was. Once there i was able to see what was wrong with me, my life, and it allowed me some peace to fix it. But that took three years of hard work, mistakes, relapses, success, just about everything.
Your mind is goign 15 different directions right now. If you can concentrate on one thing you can control. It doesnt need to be any more complicated then doing the dishes every night. Control that one small part of your life, as you get better add more on. Before you know it you will feel much more in control.
Once you get your meds right, get into talk therpy as soon as possible. If you cant then talk to someone, anyone who can give you an ear to listen to. Im a big believer that the answers you discover yourself are the best ones for you.
If your husband is willing, get him into therpy also. He needs to learn about how his life has changed also. You can recover from this, you can get better, and your marriage can recover also. But it will take time, and lots of hard work.
Good luck and keep posting.
Happy Bill