LOOKING FOR SUPPORT

Hello all! I am new here, and have been reading all the posts and decided it was time for me to seek support, realizing that i can't handle this on my own. So here goes....
My girlfriend of whom i have been with for a year and a half is bipolar. She told me this on our third date, I didn't blink an eye. I am accepting of people for who they are, not some disease they have. Well things started off so well, I thought to myself how was I so lucky to have found such a loving woman. Things all went so smooth and so well, we fell in love, moved in together after 4 months. Thats when everything seemed to go wrong, I was constantly being accused of wanting other women, I was accused of wanting my ex wife, my ex girlfriends, my employees. I tried to reassure her that i had found total happiness in her, and that someday i would make her my wife. Things were a rollercoaster, when things were good, they are amazing, when things are bad, she shuts herself down, and goes into her shell. I had found out that she had stopped taking her meds, becasue she had felt better, but we talked about it, i told her what she was doing to me, and how i was hurting. She went back to the docs, and got back on her meds. What I didn't understand was that it takes time for meds to work, i thought, heck, she is back on them, things should be good. Well back on the rollercoaster. I had put so much of my life into this relationship, I began to lose who i was, i stopped meeting friends out, spending time with the guys, etc. I would start to shut down myself, handling my emotions the only way i knew how, I would go to the bar, alone, or go to the casino, something i very much enjoy, partly because the drive out there, gave me time to think alone. It was my way of running from the abuse and hurtful things being lashed out against me. Well she thinks i was out at the bar for one motive and one motive only, that was to hook up with another female, which is furthest from the truth. Well about 7 months ago, i was kicked out of her place. I was back to square one. We maintained contact, dating, sex, etc. She always said comments like "glad to hear things are going so well for you, and i'm so alone" ! She was the one who asked me to leave. Recently, this past week, she says that she cant forgive me for hurting her, and that we both need to move on. I have reached a point where, I myself, am going to see a pdoc, Is it possible for a significant other to feel some of the emotions, moods, highs and lows as their BP partner. I want to put everything i have into our relationship, and i think she knows this. but she just wants nothing to do with me. Is this a phase, or is she really done, will she be back. I am not the type to "just give up"! I am curious to see what the pdoc says about me, and how to handle this. I would love to hear from everyone, support is an amazing thing, and probably a major component to the road to recovery. And I want to be her support !

I never forced her, she understood the hurt i was going through, and wanted to change that. She always had men not sticking around, and finally she has that, and shuts me out. I am just trying to understand, and be there for her. Yet I know that I need to take a step back, and let her figure this out on her own. I believe that me and this relationship is a stressor. I just don't want to completely walk away from her.

I think the major problem is that she is insecure, you said men have always left her, so when you haven't she doesn't know how to react to that. I don't think it's a commitment problem, I think she doesn't know how to handle having you actually sticking around. Is she currently on her medication? Does she see a counselor where she can talk things out? If not, she really needs to see someone. Bi-polar is an extremely difficult disease and what works for one person may not work for the next, but it's very important for someone with bi-polar to be able to talk with a professional. If I did not do this I have no idea where I would be. I can talk to my husband, family and friends, but being able to talk with an outsider is so crucial. I have not heard of people picking up the symptoms of bi-polar by being with someone that has it- no one has picked it up from me. You are probably just feeling the symptoms because you are currently in a roller-coaster relationship. If I were you I would talk with a professional,and maybe give your girlfriend the space she is requesting. I'm sure if she has time away from you, I know you aren't living together, but even just not talking with each other at all might help her. Bi-polar is such an intimate illness, meaning that if someone with it is requesting to be left alone, then you definitely need to leave them alone and let them figure things out. I do hope that things work out for you two, you seem really in love with her and committed to her. Keep us posted!

Oh, I am going to start seeing my own doc, this week or next, whenever they can get me in

 You cannot help but be effected by her disease. She goes off her meds well,this is common but if she is not weaned professionally lots of luck. It could have dire consequences for her and everyone around her. No matter what the disease, it's her responsibility for her behaviors. Not yours. You deserve to be able to go out with your friends and have all the joy you need. Your isolation and depression may be one of the signs of circumstances. This person is toxic to you and you need to move on. I have bi-polar disease and I realize this is my own disease and not another's responsibility. I tell my husband to go on trips,be with his friends, and do all the things that make him happy. He deserves this and so do you. I am sorry but this disease and her behaviors can tell you she is not ready for any relationships. She has to take care of this herself. You do not need to be a victim of her abuse.