Is all this caused by bipolar disorder

My wife was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 2 years ago.  It seems like we have tried every medicine in the book.  Her doctor rapidly changes the medicines, sometimes on a weekly basis.  I cant help but wonder sometimes if she had a little bit of depression after the birth of our second son and after countless depression medicine, finally they called it bipolar.  We've have been through everything it seems like.  From ex boyfriends coming into our lives, to the use of drugs and the latest a cross country trip were she got pregnant by a man she hardly new  a littl over a week.  Over the past 2 years she is a constant yo yo of feelings from "she knows God sent me to her and she loves me with all her heart"  to the complete opposite to " she hates me and never wanted to marry me from the start."  She has been physically abusive and mentally.  Everything seems to be completely my fault one minute and the next she telling me how she doesn't deserve me and she wishes she would just fall asleep and never wake up.  I have stood by her side through every bit of this.  Even after this summer when she filed for divorce, I never wanted that.  I love her still with all my heart, but when do you finally thinking about life in the future.  Will it ever get better or is she not bipolar and all this is just the behavior of an unhappy wife wanting out of a marriage so she can go back to reckless sex and drugs.  I don't know.  Even if you take me out of the equation she can't handle my children for long extended periods at a time before she is curled up in the bed thrashing and crying.  We've been impatient twice in just this year.  As of the last couple of weeks she has been doing a lot better and her tolerance has been great, but then last night I find her texting and talking to the man that lives acrosss the country and got her pregnant this past summer.   It really affected me and I try not to be confrontational but even when I'm thinking she is doing better this happens.  My trust in her has been destroyed for years with the other men she brought into our life.  I just don't know anymore what to do.  If it is trully a sickness she has then regardless of it makes me feel like I want to stay by her side, but sometimes I really struggle with the feelings of whether this disease can really cause all this or if I should finally throw in the towell.  Someone please make some sense of all this or give me advice as to what I should do.

Hi T&T,

Thanks for your post.  From my personal experience with bipolar, I can tell you it does cause hypersexuality and sexual indiscretion.  That was the case for me when I had a manic episode.

I can't really speak to the other things in your post, but I do wish you good luck.

I have been seeing doctor with her. Mainly the quick changes are a depressiion medicine, which he says he don't like giving her because he doesn't want her to go manic again. After this last incident, I'm sure she won't want me to know or be there. She goes to see him today. Im going to see conselor Wednesday. Maybe she can help me.

I do support her treatment. I know I don't have to support the hurtful things she does and says, but hard to figure out the right way to react that is best for her recovery. I am always just taking it and then after so much or after she does something very hurtful that can continue to destroy our family I blow up right back at her. It's just so confusing.

BTW, I meant to post also that you do need to get as much support for yourself as possible and reinforce what PeterUK has stated. While couples therapy can be helpful, or accompanying a spouse or partner to his or her session can also be helpful, sometimes we also need individual therapy as well. Best wishes to you.

You're being too hard on yourself. (((hugs)))

Since October she has taken them everyday. It has been a pile of different medications. What she is on now seems to be better for her and last night we had a conversation about texting the other man and she completely agreed and it seemed genuine, but sometimes its hard to tell. Time will tell I guess. Yes she filed for divorce and after her abortion she started back on meds in Sept. That's when she started really realizing what she had done and withdrew the divorce. I really want to leave the past behind and thought we had until last week. She assured me there is nothing there and she shouldn't have even answered his message back. It's just hard to trust. Hard for me not to want to check behind her, go through her purse or her phone. I don't want to be doing that for the rest of my life. I told her I would father the child but with all the problems she had with our second son. Bleeding on the brain it just seemed like too much of a risk to her life to go through with the pregnancy. And with all the meth she did from June to end of July I have no idea how it would have effectived the baby. Now I have to live with this abortion on my conscious evryday for the rest of my life. I could have stayed out of it but I knew she needed me. So I went with her and paid for it. I really fight with myself about my true motives too. I have a lot of guilt over that too.