Just want someone who understands me!

I hear you MVL, I understand where you are, I'm pretty much in the same space right now.

I was diagnosed last year and I've struggled with the diagnosis even though I saw it coming after 10+ years of chaos, impulsivity, extremely poor decisions, unbelievable highs, and soul destroying lows.

I'm terrified I won't be able to get my career and close relationships back on track. My meds have helped. But they have also caused problems. There is a sense of loss to know that I'll be dealing with this for the rest of my life.

I take things day by day. Today might be bad, but I do have better days. So I have to believe that tomorrow can be better.

We also aren't helpless. Managing this disorder can go beyond medication (although medication is essential) and therapy.

Have you been exposed or treated with Dialectical behavioural Therapy? There are some very practical coping techniques that you can weave into your daily life. I'm still overwhelmed all the time. But I have to believe that small changes will eventually build and make me stronger and more resilient.

I recommend this book. You can download it from Amazon's kindle store so you can read it immediately and the kindle version is cheaper:

The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook for Bipolar Disorder: Using DBT to Regain Control of Your Emotions and Your Life

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003MEIMRO/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_Sewvpb11AVY9V

I went through Dialectical behavioural Therapy in a group therapy situation as an outpatient at a psychiatric hospital. We did exercises that were very similar to the exercises and teachings in that book.

Some techniques are easier. Others are harder. But the therapeutic technique is very gentle. You work at your own pace and you are always encouraged to be nonjudgemental.

You aren't alone. Spend some time here. There are good people and we have all been there.

I'm sorry you are having a rough time, may I suggest something that has worked for me? Acceptance of bp is very powerfull, accepting that there are things that you cannot do, accepting that because you can't do them does not make you a bad person. I also cannot plan ahead, just too rough, but I accept it and instead enjoy the spontity that I do very well with. So in my mind I figure why worry over what I can't do, and instead enjoy the heck out of what I can do.

For me buddism has been the answer, but acceptance is the true path to peace. Have you ever owned a dog? No matter how bad life has treated them they accept abd enjoy the simple joys of life. That's my way of living and it has helped me greatly.

Bill