caffeine triggers bi-polar breakdown?

yes, absolutely. I used caffiene excessively while in college. I landed myself in the hospital in just a couple of weeks after using more caffeine. I am caffeine-free now. When I do have some (even very, very little), the destabilizing effects are obvious.

I new that I was self medicating with caffeine years ago, but hadn't thought of it in years either. I am now a 12 pack of Dr. Pepper a dayer and cannot quit as hard as I may try.

I cannot believe that I have found myself on this thread. I am now thinking that it is quite possible that the caffeine is possibly disqualifying my current med regime. Could that even be possible?

Is it possible that the reason that I have unsuccessfully tried so many times to stop the Dr. Peppers is because my medications are at levels that require me to be dependent on its consumption in order to function as I should. I know that sounds crazy, but what I mean to say is that for example, I am taking drug #1 at a certain dosage, #2 at a certain dosage and all the way down to #7 at a certain dosage and then the caffeine consumption is acting as #8, so when #8 is not present, the others fail to meet my needs?

I don't know. I am trying to wrap my mind around this one. I am really perplexed. Anyone getting my drift?

Still fighting my addiction to caffene.  Some days i do very well, others not so much.

Still all in all if this is the extent of my issues im far ahead of others fighting worse issues.

 BIll     

What a wonderful idea! I can't drink anything with artificial sweeteners, due to migraine issues, but I don't see any reason that I couldn't alternate one regular with one caffeine free for a few days to see if I can taper off a bit. I also have two cups of coffee each morning. I know that would be cutting more than the 10% recommended above, but I don't think it would be too extreme.

I will let you know how it goes!

This does make a lot of sense to me, but I am so in love with coffee that I just can't seem to quit it or reduce my consumption. It's weird because despite the negative consequences of consuming too much caffeine, there are also tremendous benefits and they sort of balance each other out.


I'm not 100% sure if it's the caffeine itself that's doing it, but my CBT therapist suggested that it might be the issue the other day in therapy and it got me thinking. Mind you, it could also largely be due to the combo of meds I'm on, but maybe the caffeine is making it worse? What do you guys think... here's what I've been experiencing

Lately, (especially since I started taking lamictal together with topamax and adderall) when I drink coffee, I have what I believe are mini "panic" attacks. For example, I'll have the sudden, overwhelming urge to start crying (sometimes for no reason at all, and sometimes because I'll just think about how fat I am or how I feel like I'm in the wrong body, my life is not how it's supposed to be, I have no control over my life, etc.) and depending on where I am, I will start crying. This is usually accompanied by shallow breathing, shortness of breath, rapid heart beat, an overall heightened sense of awareness to the environment (like I can't pay attention to what I'm supposed to be doing, I seem like I'm on the lookout for some sort of danger) cold hands and feet, minor shaking in my hands, sometimes my legs twitch, etc. Initially when this started happening, it was accompanied by strong suicidal thoughts and urges to self-harm as well as horrible insomnia. Sometimes I would not sleep even for a minute, then just walk to school at 5am and be on campus until 10pm, completely awake the entire time. Other weird things that sometimes happen are I'll have a very VERY VERY strong sense of deja vu, followed by a feeling that I'm outside of my body, looking down on myself.

Now that I've kind of gotten used to it, the symptoms aren't as bad. I don't have serious suicidal thoughts anymore. When I avoid caffeine and take less adderall, I binge eat and become severely depressed. Coffee and adderall act as both an appetite suppressant for me (which helps tremendously with my bulimia/ed nos) as well as helping me to focus in school. My grades have gone up to straight A+'s, so although I'm clearly having awful symptoms with the coffee consumption and my med combo,I don't want to give that up because I'll feel like a fat failure. At the same time, it sucks having these panic attacks, or whatever they are.

What do you guys think?

I am a bit to restrained. If I am not careful I end up restraining mania in my head. Drinking caffeine lets the energy flow into my flesh. Calming despite its urgency to build on itself, it builds into relaxation. Suffusive warmth, health and vitality draws through my flesh to my bones. My mind calms as well.

Interestingly my resting heart rate drops drastically. The higher the mania I was successfully restraining the more drastic the drop...down to a healthy 72 bpm.

The restraint was learned through years of not knowing I had BPD and BP which was likely NOS, II and now at a place where many pdocs would label it as BD I.

If I had not met someone special I would have gone on like that unable to spot it because 'mania is super-happy and reckless in specific ways like in the movies'. Because she is Bipolar I did a fair amount of reading. This has helped as well.

And I cannot even consider speaking with her until I am on meds because the BPD and light persisting mania from BD do NOT get along. And I am reasonably certain that last time I spoke with her I was entering a mixed state. Just a bad scene. And it all felt justified.

I want only friendship now. But there is a warmth and tenderness for her that will persist as long as I live. The light mania and beginning to heal the Borderline make this feel...Elemental. It scares me. Every time I deal with her now I end up saying things that make me feel like I've torn out my own heart.

Derp. I've learned to reign in my speech but typing still gets out of hand. Must watch actions/reactions. Must ask loved ones for space when things get dicey. Must not indulge emotional deadness of Borderline to combat mania, WOULD NOT ADVISE, WOULD NOT DO AGAIN WISH RATING SYSTEM WOULD ALLOW -5 STARS POOR EBAYER.

Err...yeah. Spent better part of 3 days in inpatient after the start of a lovely mixed state helped me put another solid crack in a friendship.

I have Risperidone now and a lot of what I read, ironically to the end of understanding that friends experiences and how to better treat her, is coming back. Things were a bit dicey for a while as memory and judgement go.

Lame part is I am so restrained that my mania seemed so ordinary to most people that they think I am not bipolar. pdoc says BD I and I am inclined to believe him, especially as my perhaps never to be speaking to me friend with BD II could not understand when I tried to relate the experience of mania. I will not even discuss mixed states with her.

Despite my reading I am a poor patient and I will try to find a group and other resources to help me keep on track. I know better than to see pills as the end all be all of treatment.

Thank you Cloe. I WILL indulge a little while I make plans to manage my circadian rhythm but the effects of caffeine, in full, are becoming too difficult to ignore.