Not Sure What You Would Call It

Being new to havin BP has made me realize a lot of the problems I have endured in the past have been from BP.  I have not learned what the different episodes or feelings you experience are classified as to speak intelligently on them.  All I know is that yesterday I had a pretty good day I had a Doctor appointment yesterday and I went and had my lithium blood levels drawn.  Came on and worked from home yesterday afternoon and then the bottom fell out I started to feel really low and then the next thing I am balled up on the floor in a corner crying, nothing happened it was just all of a sudden I was a mess after crying I gathered myself up and took a long hot bath and felt a little better.  I went to bed relatively early or should I say around my normal bedtime and I woke up this morning feeling like a zombie.  I feel like I am going back to that dark place I was 2 years ago before being diagnoised when I was misdiagnoised with depression.  It is a struggle to leave my house and come into work.  When I am home I feel safe but having to venture out of my safe haven everyday is begininng to feel like more than I can take.  If someone can please tell me what are these episodes I am experencing perhaps help me to understand so that I can tell my pdoc whats going on with me I would really appreciate it.  Right now I just feel so alone even though I have a husband he tried to understand but wants to know what can he do to make me better he doesnt get that he cant do anything that he cant fix me.  Thanks for listening.

Ria

Hey Ria

I don't think it is important to be able to "label" your feelings. I think it is more important to be able to express to your doc what you are feeling, in your own words. I keep a journal so that when my psychiatrist asks me how I am, I can show him in my own words. From there we discuss the next moves.In my journal, to make it easier for him to get an overview, I higfhlight the days in certain colors-like blue for depressed, orange for manicy feelings, etc.(there are also some pretty good mood charts on the internet) I know the labels only because I have taken medical training, and because my psychiatrist uses the terms a lot and so I pick it up from him , that's all-and I have read tonnes about this. Anyhow I find when I tell him how I feel, he understands and helps things make sense-he knows the disorder inside and out. Do you have this kind of relationship with your pdoc?

Hang in there, and if you feel like this consistently, a trip back to the doc is in order. If you feel suicidal, go pronto! Keep track of your days, write it down, and when you see the doc tell them in your own words and their job is to work WITH you from there,

All my thoughts,

SHannon 

When I first started seeing my pdoc, I was uncomfortable, didn't trust him. As I get to know him and trust him, I feel more comfortable . I had no  idea it was only your second visit-that's understandable!!!

In short, mania is more extreme. My text breaks it down like this

MANIA: severe enough to cause marked impairment in activities, relationships, or necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm of self or others, or psychotic features.

HYPOMANIA:  change in functioning that is uncharacterisitc of person, this change is observed by others, absence of marked impairment in social/occupational functioning, hospital not indicated.

I will write more later, for now I have to go, sorry!

Shannon