Hi Everyone. I am new to this forum and need some advice. I have been married to my wife for 9 years and she was diagnosed bipolar Type I long before we met. She also suffers from polyneuropathy which means she is disabled. She has left me three times before and usually has a cycle. She starts acting manic, starts spending every waking moment chatting on the computer, they convince her to leave me, and she runs to her parents. After about 1 to 3 weeks she comes running back home. To complicate things, her mom is in denial about the bipolar (doesn’t even like for someone to use the term) and her dad is Type 2 and can act very irrationally. I have been fighting with her dad lately because he insists we move over 50 miles away from work to live closer to them (I currently live 4 miles away which allows me to care for my wife).
about a month and a half ago, my wife’s pdoc took away her Klonopin (which she has been on for years for PTDS) and put her on Abilify. However, she was not doing well on the Abilify and took herself off of it after 3 weeks (after consulting Dr. Mom). I noticed an immediate change and once again she started chatting at all hours of the day. I came home 4 days later and she tells me she’s leaving me and I need to take her to her parents. Well, on the way up to her parents she starts connecting with me and being affectionate, etc. When I leave her parents, she grabs my arm, kisses me, and tells me everything will be alright. The next morning, I go to log into my email, find that she didn’t log out of hers and there was a confirmation email for an appt. with a divorce atty.
Two days later I have to bring my wife’s insulin to her parents (She is diabetic) and she texts me “Thank you…so much. I really appreciate it.” Did not hear anything for two more days. That Friday I saw in her email that the lawyer sent her the retainer with the necessary forms. I also go into our bank acct and see that she has already taken half out of each of our accts. I text her why the money is missing. She calls back in a very cold tone and says she needs money for groceries, etc. while she is at her parents. She also asks about out dog, which I tell her I will need to give up if she leaves permanently (please not she LOVES this dog) – she has little to no reaction. On Friday, I ended up in the ER with a severe liver infection. Almost died, and all she can text is “I’m sure you’ll be ok.”
On Easter I brought up papers for a pdoc appt. I had made her along with some Easter gifts I had bought her before she left. As I am walking back to the car she texts me “thank you…I see you” I look back and she is waving at me through the window. Then her dad comes out and starts telling me not to upset her and leave her alone. She calls me three hours later back to the cold tone stating that she had filed for the legal separation. I asked her why, she starts crying and saying she had to go. Her mom and her came down and got some stuff from out apartment, but mostly just clothes. She left a lot of stuff that is close to her, which I thought was strange.
She has cut all ties to anything down here. She even stopped responding to her therapist, who she is very close to. I have no idea what is going on. I feel like the woman I knew and loved has died. I feel like she is out for blood over what? For nothing. I am devastated, angry, and sometimes I don’t know how to feel. Please, if someone has any advice or words of encouragement, I would greatly appreciate them.