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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 5/18/2013 12:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hi everyone,

To be honest I'm not sure if I belong here or not. I am feeling very lost and confused when it comes to my mental health (and so are all the doctors I've ever been to). I've been diagnosed with lots of things -- depression, anxiety, ADHD, Avoidant Personality Disorder, cyclothymia, and so on. All I know is that my moods go up and down drastically. I'll have 2-7 days of feeling "good" (sometimes I still feel anxious, but it's controllable) and 2-7 of feeling intense anxiety and depression. During the "good" days I need less sleep, am a lot more confident and active, and everything feels bright and cheerful and possible. During the worst of the bad days, I completely give up on life. My mood cycles are definitely influenced my menstrual cycle, and seem to be influenced by stress and by the weather, too.

I have been on a few different antidepressants and they work for a few months and then seem to stop working. When I was diagnosed with cyclothymia, the doctor put me on lithium and instead of stabilizing my mood, I started having what I guess might be called "manic" periods (needed almost no sleep, couldn't stop talking, very keyed up, trembling).

I just wanted to know if this is familiar to any of you, and if there's a chance that it might be a form of bipolar disorder.
Posted 5/18/2013 3:54 PM (GMT 0)
Hey Faldov,
Firstly I'm sorry you are not having the quality of life you deserve.
Secondly, it seems like there might be a few things going on, that can't come under one banner alone.
A) I take the mini pill to help with hormonal fluctuations. That is what I've found works for me, but it may involve a lot of trial and error to stop the hormonal triggers that are all too common for us women with brain chemistry issues as well.
B) Reactions to medications are complex. Lithium is metabolised through the kidneys, so if you have an known kidney issues, Lithium will not be the drug for you. similarly, if you have metabolic pathway issues in your liver, you will suffer increased medication sensitivity and brain toxicity due to your body not being able to convert the drugs to usable substances. You can get a lot of cognitive confusion and delirium. that doesn't sound what is happening to you.
C) I don't have much experience with antidepressants 'stopping' working but getting agitated on antidepressants can be a sign of dysphoric hypomania. it can include irritability, insomnia, and sometimes even a little anxiety.
D) Trauma can have an impact on mental illness to, but because you describe your symptoms as more distinctly biological, that may not be the case either. Usually with trauma, the mood swings don't follow such a regular pattern.

From what you have written, it seems like your brains chemical balance is affected by your cycle throughout your cycle, not just at that PMT or menstruation stage.

As well as trialling hormonal balancing, I would go back to the golden rules of a good lifestyle; eat nutritiously, drink 2 litres of water a day, exercise 1/2 daily, don't drink alcohol or take any other mood altering drugs, set a good sleep routine, take up enjoyable hobbies, surround yourself with understanding people, and live in the moment.

It does seem possible to improve things to improve. My advise would be to improve your overall lifestyle and hormonal factors and that will give a much clearer picture for any symptoms that remain to be diagnosed and managed.
Posted 5/19/2013 4:52 AM (GMT 0)
What you posted sounds like textbook Bi-Polar to me, it certainly describes my non-medicated self and I can't imagine how any qualified psychiatrist could miss it. Have you seen a psych doctor of any kind? PCP's, Family Physicians are Not qualified to diagnose or treat mental illness. I had to look up cyclothymia as I have never heard of it. Cyclothymia also called cyclothymic disorder, is a mood disorder. Cyclothymia causes emotional ups and downs, but they're not as extreme as in bipolar disorder type I or II. I hope thats right. The main treatments for cyclothymia are medications and psychotherapy.
Cyclothymia requires lifelong treatment, even during periods when you feel better, usually guided by a mental health provider skilled in treating the condition.
This is the link i used, please let us know how your doing.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/cyclothymia/DS00729
Posted 5/19/2013 1:53 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks everyone for reading and to those who responded. Yesterday was my fifth day of intense, constant anxiety/depression/agitation and it was really, really rough. I had what felt like near-panic or despair or something for over 6 hours -- at that intensity I don't really know what it was, it honestly just feels like pain the feeling is so intense. Then suddenly, like flicking a switch, it went away in the afternoon. Now unless something stressful happens to trigger another down period, I'll feel okay for a few days.

I am trying to make lifestyle changes like exercising regularly, and I completely cut out sugar and caffeine a couple of months ago. I think that might have helped make my moods a bit more stable. But these regular mood drops that happen to me 2-4 times a month...I don't know what to do about those. They don't seem to respond to anything. I have Seroquel now to take "as needed" but it seems to have no effect. CBT and DBT don't really do anything after a couple of days of these moods. It's almost like I become a completely different person, and things I felt were real and true now feel like lies, etc. All I can do is try to survive them, but it's so hard.
Posted 5/20/2013 3:54 AM (GMT 0)
Hi Faldov,

Short and intense mood episodes (ultraradian cycling) is the most difficult to stabilize. One medication -especially on an as-needed basis clearly isn't enough for you at this time. Please contact your Dr and start getting treatment.

While bipolar disorder is a chronic lifelong condition, treatment for it isn't static. You might need multiple medications at high doses for a time and after you become stable be able to be well at lower doses or fewer medications.

My ultraradian progressed so that episodes lasted hours to days. It was exhausting, confusing, absolutely maddening. I was on multiple medications. It took a couple years to get stable on medications. As I was doing well but struggling with side effects, I was weaned of medications over a period of months. I have been stable off mood stabilizers for a year. I'm not cured, but I'm enjoying a break. Who knows when the roller coaster will start again?
Posted 5/20/2013 11:27 AM (GMT 0)
I have been on a lot of medications before, but I had given up on them for a year or two because none of them seemed to help long term, and a lot of them seemed to make things worse. I'm pretty scared of the side effects. I tried to just adopt a healthy lifestyle, learn relaxation techniques, etc. But these mood swings seem totally out of my control. I am starting to fear that I really have no chance of feeling better without medication.
Posted 5/21/2013 12:59 AM (GMT 0)
They are out of your control. If we could control it, it wouldn't be a disorder. :)

How many medications have you been on ***at a time***? How often were your meds adjusted? Did you call and report your changes in symptoms and side effects?

"take this and come back in a month" is just a starting point. To get medication worked out, you need to be proactive. When I'm not well, they'll tweak my meds as often as once a week! The end result for hanging in there is stability. It's worth it.
Posted 5/24/2013 2:12 AM (GMT 0)
There is a combination that will work for you. The journey you take while finding can bee disheartening but don't give up. Not taking meds. has side affects too. Like the constant and ever stressful roller coaster you are on now. I have never been on meds. that are a as need basis. That doesn't sound right. Find a new/good PD. Don't put off calling when you are having issues. The more feedback you give the better stability you get. Gods speed!
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