Here's a new one, please join in!!!

Hi KittyKat. I loved your idea. I AM ALWAYS INTO LEARNING THINGS about MY PEERS! So here goes:

1. I wish I could find some friends that could accept me illnesses and all.

2. Am VERY materialistic. I have over 150 pairs of Manolo's. Jimmy Choo's and Dolce, plus every designer handbag made,plus 3 closets full of clothes. I might add that 90% of these items have never been worn, and still bear the price tag. I have a Navigator and a Jag. 2 houses. I have a girl come to my house for manis and pedis EVERY week. The best part is my vehicles are in the garage and r rarely used. I ONLY LEAVE THE HOUSE TO GET MY MEDS!!!!

3. I love children and wish I could have at least one

4. I think with my heart instead of my brain, which leads to problems.

5. I live for criminal TV, all the CSI's, Law&Orders, and cant forget my fav..House (that is medical, tho)

So that is just a small part of this messed up being. My loving sister, who I love with all my heart and soul turned me onto this site as she has been trying for years to understand why I do what I do, and thanks to you all she is learning and our relationship is the best it has ever been. I promise not to take you all for granted EVER. Lastly, I still think we should do our own "intervention" on Tom Cruise

Love,

Patti

 Stox4pat and pepperina30, HELLO and thanks for your responses. Stox4pat, shopping , we have in common. I think it's a manic bipolar trait or something.LOL Also have to agree with your #4 on your list. It sucks sometimes because you can really get hurt. I too am a huge fan of CSI and those types of shows. ( I am in the medical field) In response to your #1 on the list, I think you just did find ome friends who accept all of you. Welcome again!!!! Pepperina30, we have something in common also, we take the same med , topomax.How long you been on the topomax, and how many milligrams are you taking? Happy posting!!!

                                        Kitty

 I thought when you came off lithium, it was to be gradual and over a two week period. I could be wrong though, I take 100mg of topoamax, and won't go past 150mg, due to concentration and focus problems. I make up for that by taking Omega  fish oil. I will be starting wellbutrin or lamictal soon. If you are still crying alot or frequently , you should be taking an anti-d. I couldn't remember if you said you were on one. If  you are on one you should have the med adjusted. Good luck to ya. 

1) After watching people not understand my mothers illness, being personally judged and loosing a job due to mine, and dealing with people every day I have developed a hated of people. Unfortunately.

2) I laugh uncontrollably when I'm nervous or am being yelled at by someone. (this doesn't go over very well at work).

3) My biggest weakness are dogs in pet shops. I must keep myself away from them as I am opposed to puppymills. However when going to the mall to purchase a bra my friend draws me into the pet shop and I end up with a 900$ chihuhua. She was worth every penny, but I have to keep myself out of them.

4) I am currently trying to conceive.

5) My favorite show is extreme makeover home edition and I love animal planet.

Hello my beautiful friends. How is everyone doing. I apologize that I will mix up the names (re: my Epilepsy...no memory, but I will try), so no offensive I will just ramble. OK, Colleen as far as the shoes, yes they are mail order, God forbid I would leave the house. I wear a size 9 in non-designer shoes (like Victorias secret), but my Manolos, Jimmy Choos, Dior, YSL, Dolce are a 10, size 40 in Europe sizing. If u r my size, I will leave them to you in my Will as the only other person I would give my stuff to is my sis and she REFUSES to have any fashion sense. And for the record she told me none of u girls would EVER talk to me again after my post about being materialistic...guess she was wrong!!! Ya' love me anyway !!!!! Pepper, I SOOOOO understand the female companionship thing...I miss that the most. I wished u lived is South florida...we could hang daily, all of us for that matter. Maye in the future a bunch of us could meet up in a fun place, huh? sounds like we all could use some fun in our lives. I have zero friends that aren't male and most of them are gay, and the others just like my boobs (fake, I might add...LOL!!!). I swear I wouldn't know what it is like to have a girlfriend that just loves me for me, all the bullcrap aside! As far as dogs go.. I can so relate. I have 2 and they are my life. they are my children, my best friends, etc. It must come with the territory...LOL. Dana, I  pray that your hopes of conceiving come to fruition. How long have u een trying? Are you OK health wise? I mean, there is nothing wrong with you or your signifigant other as far as your female parts and his male parts? You all talk to me soon.

Love you all to pieces,

Patti   

1) I play guitar and used to play in a band
2) Im going to have a show of my artwork this summer
3) I love nature and the environment and hike every chance I get
4) I had a phobia around driving due to a traumatic car accident as a child, and only started driving a car two years ago
5) I wear alot of black

I do multimedia work which means that I combine video, photography, music and three dimensional constructions to produce multi sensory environments. So the viewers who see my shows walk into a room, where I have an environment set up for them to experience. The subject matter lately centers mostly around how the human brain, mind and spirit work together.

I've always wanted to learn how to play pool!! From what Ive heard, its an art in itself...I love black because to me it represents the mysterious, the unknown, and a whole world of possibilities.

Wow!  You all are my twins!  I can relate to every single thing I've read so far, except materialism.

Especially dogs!   I have 2 dobermans that are my life besides hubby!  I knew when I was a child I didn't want children, only a wonderful husband to share my life with.  I also feel that way about shelters, I can't even go in.  They are all there because people are irresponsible, don't have time to spend with them and they eventually become just a bother with behaviour problems from lack of attention and training.  Very sad.

I paint and sketch and play piano (classical).  I thought when I got stable the creativity would go away, but I'm actually a better painter now, I don't hate every single work like I used to, haha.  (Perfectionist)!

Also have no female friends; sick of being judged.  My husband is my everything and the best friend I ever had.   I just can't relate to other "normal" women and obviously bipolar isn't something you can hide from someone who gets close.  Bummer.  Also don't have a lot of love for people in general, it seems so many are just ignorant about people in general, IMHO of course.

I really hope I don't sound like I know everything on this board, I just want to help because it is a very complex illness, but I have PLENTY of disorders, one of them borderline personality; it seems almost all bipolars have this problem, too!

Danarx, I do hope you get pregnant soon; how long have you been trying?

I just love it here, because we can all relate to each other.  I have never had that before.  I wish you all were here in Dallas, haha!

Well, thanks for listening to me ramble!

Shannon

Thank you, fear of dreaming!  I feel like I can actually talk about all my "disorders" here, I can't anywhere else.  The LAST thing you want people to know about is being BP.  Even people you have known casually for a long time treat us differently when they find out, and not for the more positive, haha!  And the people who love us and try to understand never will because it is something that has to be experienced to understand; words can't express it.  OK, here's my rant for the day:

Do you all get sick of people trying to tell you you need a therapist for BP, and medicine is a crutch?  As if it's just your lousy attitude toward life!!!!!!!!!!    Or worse yet, that you should just take some St. John's wort and vitamins or diet and excercise!  (Tom Cruise) Or when you're so depressed you can't even get out of the bed to shower or use the toilet because you're so weak, they tell you just to "get out and do some things"???!!!!  Unreal!  They will never understand the total mind/body shutdown that happens.  Don't you hate it when your manic and you're mean to the people you love most because you have no control over the rage and irritability and then regret it with all your being 5 minutes later and can't apologize enough, so you cry and hate yourself?

I still do that, much less than I used to (constantly), but I still hate myself jsut as much when I do.  Luckily, my husband does understand and is the most patient person on this earth.  He knows I don't mean it, but that really doesn't make me feel any better.

Yeah, I'm stable.  I think this is as good as it gets for some.  I know I always say "Just get stable and you will feel great", which is true for the most part, but you still do get mood swings, just not nearly as bad.

On the other hand, since I have bankrupted us due to my uncontrolled spending among other things I won't even mention here, he still loves me and has never let me down.  How many guys would stay for that?  I can't really complain; if lesser mood swings still happen, I am thankful and lucky.  Believe me, every day is Thanksgiving in my mind. (I still have some gripes, tho, haha!)

Thanks for listening!

Shannon

You guys are all great. And this is a fun thread!!!!!! - Thank you kitty for starting it.

Shannon I really appreciate you being here. You are very inciteful. (I don't know how to spell that word - but you get the gist). It's nice to know I'm not the only one who hates people (that sounds sooooo awful). I just don't tolerate much anymore. I used to give every one the benefit of the doubt and think everyone was in general kind and considerate, but that feeling is long gone. Aren't dogs the best!!!!!

I'm actually going to go to chicago next weekend to help a friend of mine with schizoeffective disorder sell cards with her photographs on them at a card and stationary show. When she was not so ill she would have art shows with her photography and she taught me alot about it. So that is a really excting thing for you fear of dreaming I'm sure and good luck!

We've only been trying for two months, but it is soooooo frustrating. Last month I spotted starting 4 days after ovulation and lasted 9 days. I'm currently 4 days late on my period that is showing no signs of comming and had a negative blood pregnancy test. My basal body temperature never spiked this month and I'm going nuts. It's sooo hard not to obssess but its making me crazy and I wish it would just happen. Sorry to vent, it's just a lot more frustrating than I thought it would be. Especially since I have to be off most of my meds and my lupus is flaring and my moods are all over the place. I'm sure I'm becomming a pain as a patient for my ob. I want answers to why my cycle is screwy and they just don't have them. I was really irritable with the nurse, I feel a little bad but she wasn't really answering my questions (probably because she couldn't). ----- so that's the story so far! lol

Thanks for listening!!!!

Dana :)

Hi, Dana!  Thank you so much for the kind words; isn't it amazing that many of us have a general dislike of people!  Before I moved to Dallas 20 years ago, I used to smile at strangers, that's just how we are in the midwest, and I quickly noticed here, you never get a smile back.  They just stare.  So I quit smiling, and then I found out the people here are wayyyyyyyyyyyyy different (not in a good way!) from where I grew up.  Oh, well.  That's how it started, but I have always been paranoid about people looking/staring at me.   Considerate?  I've never seen manners on anyone here.  Rude is an understatement.  I feel like I'm living in NYC!  (No offense to anyone there intended).  Does anybody else here also have phobias of crowds or groups of people?  I get panic attacks if I go to a crowded place, last month it was the mall.  I lasted about 10 minutes, then  BOOM.  Paul had to get me out of there asap.  Took me 30 minutes to calm down!

Dana, I have seen soooo many couples who have had a really hard time conceiving get pregnant after an adoption.  When you are stressing and obsessing over it; it can be a problem.  It seems when people relax and get the "it'll happen when it happens" attitude, it happens.   Just like when your period is late, because of stress.  You keep stressing (say you don't want to be pregnant), and you wait, and wait, then you take a pregnancy test.  It's negative.  Then, your period comes the next day!  When women stress, (especially about these issues) it totally throws off their cycle.  I suggest you try yoga. (hatha yoga, not power yoga).  It does totally relax your mind and body, and since you are not being medicated (scary) right now, it could help your moods, too.

Just a thought!

 Dana, remember keep your head up, I am praying that you do conceive. You sound amazing!!! Just like Shannon said, relax and maybe it will fall together for you!

                                        Nickie

P.S. If you want to have mine for a few days, so I can study that would be great. Kidding, I am not trying to give her away, just sometimes I need a break. Not to mention, I hate studying at 11:00 at night, when she goes to bed, I am so tired! Any suggestions on how to get her to go to bed earlier. She doesn't even take naps, up at 7:30, then to bed at 11:00. I think she's scared she might miss something! lol