Paranoia in bi-polar spouse

This is from Philomene. I've been on the forum before.

I am worried about an issue with my bp partner. He has manifested some symptoms of paranoia before -- jealousy, etc -- and one event long ago when he was convinced that people were out to assassinate him. This has come up again. I don't know if he has discussed this with my shrink -- only mentioned to me in passing -- and only after he had talked to other of our friends saying that a car accident he had several years ago was provoked by a man all dressed in black who suddenly stepped out in front of the car and that to avoid this man he swerved and went down a huge ravine. It was a year later that he was first hospitalized for psychiatric reasons, but only on the second hospitalization five months ago diagnosed as BP. He's faithful to his meds, not drinking at all, but learning indirectly from contacts about his expressions of being the target of assassination is very upsetting. Do I talk with him about this? I'm having physical health problems and still waiting for test results. I'im handling this very well, but yesterday learning about his paranoia issues coming forth again, I feel like I'm going to loose it, meaning my ability to continue to cope as cheerfully and positively as possible with my own issues, not to trouble him with my anxieties -- but this news has taken me aback and I feel extremely vulnerable to my own anxieties at this moment in a way that hasn't been this severe in the long months of tests and waiting and more tests. Now I'm really worried about him, what this can mean and his ability to cope with his own issues.

Any suggestions?

Thanks Philomene

Dear UA -- I do agree that this needs to be discussed with his psychiatrist. At his meetings, I am asked by him to attend. But I find the exchanges very superficial. Like a lot of doctor, the doctor is interested more in medication and their impact than in "probing" other issues. ANd appointments are only once every three months. This state of mind is NOT constant in terms of conversation, but when he has brought it up and I've questioned him, there is a pretty instant "defensive" response as to the verity of this point of view. I don't think I can handle this. Is it legitimate for a partner of a bp who knows the psychiatrist to write/contact him or does that violate patient confidentiality? Maybe I can work on this because we did talk about seeing his neurologist again…she was very good and is not far away. Maybe that's the wedge….

I'm getting out regularly for walks which helps a lot. But today is rotten weather -- so I'll work off some of this anxiety by cleaning the house.

It's just feeling a bit overwhelmed at not knowing exactly what and how to deal with problems at this moment, so I'm not in the most "stable" state of mind and don't have the "distance" and "calmness" you need when trying to tackle something like this. I know he's worried about my situation too.

w'ill stay in touch and thank you.

Philomene

Yes I am invited by my partner to the sessions with the doctor. Did get out walking today -- took a kick in th pants, but glad I did it.


You helped on this. I do some mediation and breathing/relaxation exercises but need to do more of that.

thanks, every word of encouragement means a lot

Phiilomene