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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 6/4/2014 8:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hello. I am new here. I joined the other day and wrote a long post and ended up deleting it. I'm a very personal person and I just started feeling too exposed. Anyway, I'm just too worried about my wife so I had to post again. She is being treated for depression, but I really think she is bipolar. When she is depressed, she spends weeks in bed at a time. When she comes out of that, she is normal for a few days. I cherish those days but I know they're not going to last. Then she becomes what I think is hypomanic.

Most nights she doesn't sleep at all. When she does, it's only for a couple of hours. She has a ton of energy. She dances around the house, talks a mile a minute, can't stay on topic, curses like a sailor and she never curses normally. She forgets appointments and she finds one thing to obsess over and does it day in and day out.

She sees a psychologist and gets depression meds from her GP. The psychologist keeps telling her she's not BP and that she has anxiety. However, the same psychologist insisted she wasn't depressed months ago too, but has now admitted that she is. The therapist claims that she's not sleeping because she's too anxious, and that she has so much energy because she's anxious, and she is irritable because she is anxious. It's making me crazy! I know enough about this to know it's not anxiety and her therapist just isn't helping her get the right treatment.

I finally talked my wife into seeing a psychiatrist. She has not had her first appointment yet, but I'm scared this doctor won't see it either. I guess I'm doubting myself, but in my gut I am so sure sure it's bipolar.

Whenever I try to help her, she yells and screams and curses at me, so I have just been giving her space to keep the peace. She has been on twitter for probably 3 days straight with no break and no sleep. She says she is fighting for a cause and she's really proud of everything she is accomplishing on twitter with her cause. When I read her posts, they are incoherent and they scare me. She now thinks she has made such a difference that people on TV are talking about her twitter page and how great it is. Trust me, they are not.

I have read a lot of posts and I'm so scared of this disease. If I can get her on bipolar meds, will she be normal? It seems like she will be but it may take a while to find the right medication or dose. I'm worried about relapse and just dealing with this essentially forever. I'm just struggling so much and I'm the one who has to keep it all together. I'm not even sure what my question is for this group, but I just need some support and guidance.

Thank you!
Posted 6/4/2014 8:33 PM (GMT 0)
One more thing... the psychologist says my wife can't be bipolar because the onset is usually much earlier. My wife is in her late 30's. How can this possibly rule out a BP diagnosis? If the symptoms are there, why would age matter? How old were some of you when you were diagnosed?
Posted 6/5/2014 12:13 AM (GMT 0)
Hi I was diagnosed with bipolar when I was 16 now I am 30 it does sound to me like she is bipolar and maybe she needs to find a different doctor if u want you can email me I can tell you more about my experance with bipolar my email is I also a very private person but if you need anything don't hesitate to email me turn

EDIT: Removed e-mail address. I'm sure the other member had time to take it. Please note that there's a section on your profile you can include it if you like :-).

Post Edited By Moderator (UserANONYMOUS) : 6/5/2014 11:23:39 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 6/5/2014 1:46 AM (GMT 0)
Thanks, moons, I appreciate the reply. My wife gets very defensive when I even suggest that her therapist might be wrong. Defensive to the point that she screams at me non-stop for half an hour. I really think she needs a different doctor, but I don't know how to make her see that. I even went to one of her therapy sessions with her thinking she wasn't communicating all of the information accurately to the therapist. I rattled off a bunch of examples that clearly show manic tendencies. The therapist was unphased. I even asked her to pull out a DSM so we could go through the criteria together. She didn't even have one!

My wife called her psychologist this weekend after we had a big blow out. She yelled and screamed about how horrible I am to the psychologist for about 45 minutes. It was hard to listen to, but I thought that at least the therapist would finally see what is going on. My wife was totally out of control and irrational and was set off my such a small thing. Well, the therapist just said that she sounds very anxious! I am at a loss!

The best option I came up with was to talk her into seeing a psychiatrist on top of the psychologist. She called to make an appointment today after "forgetting" for several days - no return call yet. I hope someone will help her see through this. She's not listening to me.
Posted 6/5/2014 2:34 AM (GMT 0)
Has she ever talked about self harm and I saw you mentioned in your post that she thinks every one on TV was talking about her twitter account if she's having hallucations like that you might need her to check in the hospital to get evaluated and then they can set her up with the right meds and they can observe her and find the best help available by the way where do u live maybe you can look for other help available I really think if she not sleeping and thinking things are talking about her then you might need to to check her in I know my husband would do that for me if he thinks I need help trust me I would think about checking her in I have had those problems before and they figured out different meds but with bipolar it's like a hit or miss with different meds I been on a lot of different combos and like I said I been dealing with this for years in and out of the hospitals. The last time I was hospitalized was June 2013 for a week smurf you defently need a new therapist because they aren't helping her get better yeah
Posted 6/5/2014 7:00 AM (GMT 0)
Hi there,

I was 38 when I was diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder 1. That was 9 months ago! I went to see my GP with what I thought was a tummy virus but I was in a full-blown hypermanic state.

Your wife sounds hypermanic and the Psychologist does not know everything, or he/she would diagnose her properly. You should make a double appointment and tell your side of the story.

All the best. Your wife is lucky to have a caring partner.
Posted 6/5/2014 1:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks for your advice. When I woke up this morning, I checked her twitter account. She was tweeting all night and has now all of a sudden decided she is bisexual. I have no idea where that came from! She also tweeted about ********** to her celebrity crush. I'm trying really hard to understand that this is her disease talking, but her words are still so hurtful and her rambling, angry tweets are really scaring me. It's especially hard when she won't admit she has a problem and her psychologist won't either. I saved off some of her worst tweets. I am going to try to get an appointment with either her psychologist or a psychiatrist and go with her and explain what is going on.

I'm not sure if she is delusional or if she is just lying to me to make herself look more important. She told me this morning that the president of a TV network contacted her directly. So... I called her bluff and asked to see the communication. Of course, there was not one, so she backpedaled and said she made that up. I don't know if she really believed it before I called her out or not.

Does this ever get easier or is this really going to be a struggle for the rest of her life? I feel horrible for her when she is depressed, but I much prefer that to whatever this is now!
Posted 6/5/2014 5:29 PM (GMT 0)
Hello bphelp01,

Welcome to the forum!

I'm sorry for what you are going through and what your wife is going through as well. It doesn't sounds like her current therapist is very helpful. I would recommend that she seek help from a psychiatrist. I am glad that you told her about seeing one, and she got an appointment. Please see that she follows through with the appointment.

Bipolar is usually treated with both meds and therapy. They work together. However, she will need to get diagnosed from a psychiatrist. They will do an evaluation and then make a diagnosis.

You will find lots of support here :-). It will be tough for the both of you but there's lots of positive ways you can use to cope with this. But first, your wife needs proper medical help.

I hope her appointment goes well today and this psychiatrist will be able to help her. Please update us on how the appointment goes.

UA
Posted 6/5/2014 5:37 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks, UA. She actually does not have an appointment yet. She called a psychiatrist yesterday and he didn't call back. I called him this morning and he didn't call back. I even went to his office in person. The receptionist is not in today, which may explain it. He was seeing a patient, so I could not talk to him directly. My wife also called her therapist. I wanted to sit down with them both again. She has not heard back from her either. It's very frustrating to be so concerned and not be able to be proactive. I will let you know what happens.
Posted 6/5/2014 5:43 PM (GMT 0)
Ohhh, I understand. Sorry but misreading before. I'm glad you went in though. I hope they will call you back and she will get an appointment soon.

I really wouldn't recommend that she goes back to her current therapist since it sounds like she has not received any help there.

UA
Posted 6/5/2014 6:40 PM (GMT 0)
The psychiatrist called back and he will see my wife today. I'm happy about that. I know that hypersexuality is a part of bipolar, but I was very hurt this morning when I saw her sexually charged tweets. I am trying not to think about it because I know it is the disorder talking, but my question is this... Is it like when someone drinks too much and their inhibitions are down? They do or say things they wouldn't ordinarily, but it reveals the way they really feel deep down or is bipolar totally different? When she comes out of her manic phase, will she still have secret feelings that she wants to be with women? I'm just trying to figure out if she really feels that way deep down and this episode just brought it to the surface or if the bipolar is just temporarily making her say or think things she ordinarily wouldn't.
Posted 6/5/2014 9:18 PM (GMT 0)
The psychiatrist did not give her a diagnosis yet but put her on Zyprexa and Ativan. I think we're getting on track. Thank you all for your advice and support!
Posted 6/5/2014 9:28 PM (GMT 0)
I have one more question for the group. My wife told me that she is not bisexual as she claimed on twitter and that she is not always in control of what she posts on twitter. She said that God works through her and makes her write certain things. She also said that God or an angel wakes her up in the middle of the night and forces her to get out of bed so she can post things on twitter and help her cause. She really believes this and said she is not "crazy". She asked me if I believed her. I said I need to think about it and process it. So my question is, is it best for me to go along with her delusions so I don't upset her, or am I supposed to point out to her that she is delusional? I hate lying to her, but I also don't think she would believe me if I told her she was delusional and that would start a huge fight.

It's so crazy to watch this unfold. Her manic episodes started very mild and each one has become progressively worse. I'm so glad she's getting on the right meds because I can't even imagine what her next manic episode would be like. It is so scary to watch the woman I love turn into someone so different. The human brain is so complex!
Posted 6/8/2014 12:27 AM (GMT 0)
Hi bphelp01,

I'm glad your wife got to see the psychiatrist and they started her on the meds. I hope this combination will work for her.

I'm glad to hear that she opened up to you a bit regarding her post on twitter. She needs your support during this time and you also need to remember to take care of you. Please feel free to check out our resources area where you can find tips on how to cope with your spouse Bipolar moods.

I hope your wife will recover and things will improve for the both of you.

UA
Posted 6/10/2014 12:04 PM (GMT 0)
I wanted to give an update and ask a few questions. My wife was admitted voluntarily to a psychiatric hospital over the weekend. She thinks she's there because she's stressed out. She's still highly delusional. Here are my questions:

1. Is there any chance she won't come out of this psychotic state? She has been delusional now for 5 days. I thought the meds would have worked by now. It's just really sad and scary hearing her talk the way she is. Will it get better?

2. When/if she gets better, what will she think of all of this? Will she realize these thoughts she was having are delusions and not true?

I don't know how long she will be in yet, but I miss my wife. :(
Posted 6/10/2014 12:32 PM (GMT 0)
bphelp01, I know that you are worried but your wife is in the best place now. She will get the help she needs in the hospital. The meds does help but they can take some time to work. The meds also work together with therapy. Therefore, therapy is very important in the treatment.

I hope your wife get better and I hope you will feel better as well.

Take Care

UA
Posted 6/17/2014 3:46 AM (GMT 0)
I have been where you are. It is a very tough path to take but she can use all the support you can give. Your story sounds very close to mine and I hope yours has a much better outcome. I can only speak from my experiences but am willing to offer advice if you want it.

Good luck. Stay strong.
Posted 6/17/2014 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
My mania has never been as bad as that, so I cannot tell you what she will think of her delusions after the fact. I don't get delusional often, if at all. But I can imagine that after she comes down she might look back and feel silly and stupid and want to apologize. Delusions are common during mania, and sometimes come and go.

When I'm hypomanic, I'm very productive and am always ready to take on a bunch of new stuff. I'm always in a good mood even if I'm sad and want to cry. It's a very, very weird feeling. Spastic emotions can play a huge toll on someone mentally; sometimes I get tired of always feeling happy. I'll feel dead inside but have a big smile on my face and a spring in my step.

On the flip side, during my hypomania, I'm very easily agitated and am somewhat volatile. I'm very moody and sensitive to anything anyone says to me. The silliest thing can set me off. And in that moment, it's hard to step back and realize that it's just my disorder and try to get control of myself again. In my opinion, mood can be the hardest thing to control as it defines how you feel and act. So not being in control of your mood due to a mental disorder can be taxing and frustrating.

How long does it seem her cycles last? Try to see when she's coming down from mania or up from depression to get to her in between her cycles when she's thinking more clearly and is "normal". But sometimes the cycles are inconsistent and the mood episodes vary. I have also noticed that my episodes are getting worse and worse as time goes on.

Stress plays a HUGE part on bipolar disorder, at least in my case. I recently started a full time 5.5 month internship as a sophomore in college and have had a huge culture shock and tons of stress piled on me. I'm almost done and will be back to doing nothing again so I'll have fun with that... See if there have been any drastic changes in her life/lifestyle that could be adding stress to her life.

Also, the medicine can cause huge impacts on brain chemistry and she may react with volatility. It may take a long time to find a medicine regiment that works for her that has a low amount of side effects. Remember that a doctor prescribes medication because he/she thinks the benefits outweigh the risks. Also make sure that she never stops taking her medicine without consulting her doctor. Relapse and withdrawals are very real and can be scary and deadly.

As for being in the psych ward, it's a very safe place. They have 24/7 staffing, (edible) food, and therapy sessions to learn coping skills. I was admitted for five days and the biggest help was getting away from it all for a few days to just relax and let go of all the crap that's going on in my life. No responsibilities other than going to therapy, waking up for medicine, and being present for meals. Maybe her having some time to think will clear her mind a little bit.

Make sure you visit her often, it will mean the world to her. When I was in my parents came every day to see me. It really meant a lot. My brother who lives about an hour and a half away also came which was really nice. See if you can get some of her friends to visit too. It can get lonely there.

I'm very impressed of your knowledge of the disorder and your stance. You realize that sometimes she isn't in control and needs help. Unfortunately, you can't know exactly what she's going through as you do not have the disorder. Be patient and understanding, it will get better. I promise.

It may be a rocky road, but you'll get there. Always be there and give her all your love.

Best wishes.
Posted 6/18/2014 7:25 PM (GMT 0)
I have never experienced psychosis myself, but I have talked to many people who move in and out of psychosis; they are perfectly lucid and aware of what reality is when they are not in a psychotic state. That having been said, I am not a doctor, and these are good questions for your wife's psychiatrist, depending on the laws regarding doctor-patient privilege where you are.
Posted 7/2/2014 3:26 PM (GMT 0)
Thank you, Cythe and Crodentia. I really appreciate you taking the time to offer some help. I haven't been on this board in a little while because I have been waiting to see how things shake out. My wife ended up hospitalized for 2 weeks. It was really difficult for her and for me. She's now in an outpatient facility. Her meds are really messing with her head. She gets very confused and stumbles and slurs her words, especially at night. It has been really hard to get anyone to see her to adjust them. The inpatient facility released her while her doctor was on vacation! A trip to the ER didn't help either because supposedly they can't adjust meds there. Now that she's in an outpatient facility, they are starting to address the meds.

To answer your question, Cythe, she has had a tremendous amount of stress lately. I think this has all been building up slowly for many years and the stress just put her over the edge. I really hope everything stabilizes soon because I just really miss her. I miss the person she truly is. I still see glimpses of that woman, but the bipolar and the meds have really clouded it. She doesn't even look the same in a photo. She hasn't changed physically but there is a certain dullness in her eyes and they used to spark.

I know it is really difficult and scary for her right now, but it's just as much so on my end. I just love her so much and it just hurts me to see her suffer. I just want to carry the burden for her.
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