Wife has Bi-Polar 1

This does sound tough. I feel for you. I think it is great that you are trying to keep your family intact and want your marriage to be restored! You wife seems to be battling many issues, and sometimes healing can come when we know there is someone loving us through through the storm. Glad you posted - you need support! I know that Focus on the Family has licensed counselors that will talk to you over the phone (free of charge). Might be worth the call to get some support and feedback - 1-800-232-6459. Take care of yourself and you children. They need you right now. Hope this helps!

dyates,

It's very common for people with Bipolar to stop taking their meds. I did it a few times until I hit rock bottom and realized that I needed to stop the vicious cycle. It might take her hitting "rock bottom" for her to realize she truly does need meds.

In the meantime, the best you can do is take the advice from above. Make sure you see a counselor for yourself, and perhaps for the kids, too. Set boundaries (i.e. supervised visits) to protect your children. Hope this helps,

Sarah

Hi dyates,

Please don't apologize for for venting. Feel free to vent here anytime .

If she's not able to make the appointments, give her the contact information and let her make the appointments when she's ready and she knows she will be able to attend.

It seems like she's not interesting in talking right now. Give her some space for some time.

Take care of you and your kids for now. You should try to make an appointment for you to get some counseling. Or you can even call some of the hotlines. They are very helpful and they help you feel better.

I hope you'll feel better soon.

UA

dyates, what date is your birthday?

I understand why you keep trying but please think about yourself and the kids as well. Talk to the kids and continue to be there for them while you take care of yourself. Maybe your wife does not know what she wants.

For now, focus on your and the kids. Spend time with the kids for your birthday if the wife isn't around. Do something special for yourself on your special day. Treat yourself! You deserve it!

UA

Today is not a good one... Was up and down all night. I went to bed with a headache and woke up with a migraine. To top that off woke up late so my kids were running late also. I started getting upset with them even though it was my fault... Now I'm feeling like crap, tired, depressed and hopeless. I think the stress and the gravity of everything is starting to weigh down on me. I feel like just screaming. I try to keep everything tucked away but its starting to come back up.

So yet another sleepless night. I just want a sign that something will get better. Something to let me know that there is still something there to fight for. Im always reaching out to her and I think its time for me to stop and see if she even cares to talk to me... Im have so much hurt in me that it keeps coming out in small anger burst. I dont know... People have told me that if I decided to leave that my kids wouldnt blame me and would understand it when they grow up. I dont want to give up but I dont know how much more I can handle. GOD I feel like im getting pushed to the edge myself. I barely sleep and my head is killing me almost everyday.

Its actually Friday and honestly I don't feel like doing anything. I try not to think about stuff going on but cant help it. While Im busy its easy but as soon as I stop and have time alone my thoughts go right to all the crap going on.

Yea. Well it's been a few days since I was on here but a lot hasn't changed. She told me that she wants a divorce and doesn't seem like anything will change that. I'm emotionally destroyed hoping that tonight never happened... I wish I knew how to make it better. I don't know what to do. Do I give her what she wants? Do I file and let it be over or do I fight a battle that going in I know I can't win?

I've reached out to a few but no word back... I'm on an emotional roller coaster... One minute I'm fine and the next I'm depressed and down trying to figure out what I could have done differently. I'm up most of the night because I don't want to sleep. I really thought I was doing what I'm suppose to. I tried to be there for her but would get shut out. She was always busy talking on her phone and sitting in another room. Would always tell me how depressed she is... The worst feeling in the world is to have the one person you thought was your forever tell you they don't want you.

Well... Things have gotten worse. I have been told that she defiantly wants a divorce and I'm lost. I've also found out that she is back (or never left) her old obsession with "role playing" on twitter. She is suppose to be watching our children and instead she is stuck on there because it's "her way of keeping sane". I've called and emailed a few divorce attorneys. I'm still unsure what to do. I find myself as of late fighting back tears so my kids don't know what's happening. This will crush their little hearts as they ask me all the time when is mommy moving back home and I can see the pain in their eyes when I tell them I don't know. As for my wife she seems to be putting up her cold hearted defense.

My family has told me that I've gone above and beyond what any other guy would have for his wife in our situations but I still want to see her get better. I want to see the woman I met, fell in love with, and married. But the more that time passes the more I feel like a widower mourning for the loss of his wife. I've cried enough tears to fill a river and that's with me holding back so I don't upset my kids.

I don't want to give up. But at the same time I want.... NEED to feel happy and loved again. I feel like I'm alone with no one to talk to because I don't want people to know how much this hurts and when I have tried to talk to friends and family about it I feel the rush of emotions conning so I force it back down.

As of late it feels like my world is falling apart. I have spoken with a divorce attorney and am in the process of getting things sorted with my wife. I'm doing all I can to be there for my sons (who don't know about the divorce yet but will tell them this weekend). I fight back tears almost all day. I come home and it seems worse but I fight it back to keep the kids from seeing my pain. My family and friends tell me to keep my chin up as I've done all I csn... I spend every night replaying fights and good times in my head to see if I could have done anything differently... No answers appear. My kids are at my brothers for the week and for the first time I think I let myself really cry last night as everyone said it would help... It hasn't as I find myself in the same spot tonight. If not for my kids id pray to just go cold and not care but they are all I have and I keep going forward and pushing down my pain for them.

If I had to be perfectly honest I'm so darn depressed... I feel such anger at times that I just want to break stuff. I've tried to just hold everything in. But every night while I lay here it just slowly creeps out. I find myself yelling at my kids more when I don't mean to. The there are times when my heart feels like it's on fire and every beat just makes it hurt more.

It's like I feel as I've been pushed to the edge and I just want to scream until the pain stops. I've always tried to do right by everyone and it never seems like it's enough... Literally the only thing that keeps me going is my boys and my wife.... I just want that happy ending... I want the ending that happens in the movies. We were suppose to be forever... How do I just get back to being happy after my world comes crumbling down?