New Member Intro

I have had major depression since around age 16 and have been on Prozac since then on and off.
When I was 29/30 I was diagnosed with BP II and was put on meds, one right after the other, and none of them really worked. Found out I am allergic to Lithium.

I was getting a bad vibe from that doc so I switched, told my story to the new doc and he told me I was being treated incorrectly and wasn't BP II, I am BP I. I have a tendency to derail to the depressive side of BP rather than the manic side.

I am now on Lamictal 200mg am/pm and Wellbutrin 300mg.

I feel that my mood has stabilized in amazing ways. Even when I know I would typically be majorly depressed, I just feel sad. I know this stuff is working.

I have been with my husband 7+ years and he says that over the last few years I have gotten much worse since I was diagnosed. The majority of the things he says that are wrong in his eyes, I don't see them or don't agree with them at all.
So we argue, and argue and argue.
He has told me numerous times over the past 2 years he wants out, wants a divorce. Then says he'll stay with me but I have to make major changes to my attitude. Again, I don't see the attitude most of the time and I don't think some of it exists. I end up letting him down again in his eyes because of attitude, and we argue again.

He tells me I am gone. That he doesn't know the person I am anymore. He doesn't see much of the 'old' me anymore. He doesn't like who I've become. He calls me delusional or crazy because I don't see the things he is talking about.
But I don't see it.

I've talked with my psych and she tells me we need to work as a team, husband refuses and quit therapy as a couple after 3 sessions because he felt I wasn't working on anything. I have been going still and she says unless we are both going to move forward with the marriage it probably won't work. He has become verbally abusive at times during our arguments, I don't know what brings this on or why. I just sit there and take the words because it ends the fight sooner than if I fight the words.

I am truly at a loss. I do love him and I would love for this to work out. I just don't know what to do.

I'm not looking for sympathy or advice really, just nice to put it out there to people who may understand.

Hello Amanda,

Welcome to the forum! I am glad you joined. You will indeed find understanding and supportive people here .

I am sorry for everything you are going through. I always believe that it takes two persons to make a relationship. Communication and understanding is also very important in the relationship. Each partner much be supportive of one another and make compromises when needed. I am sorry that your husband doesn't seem to understand anymore.
I am happy to hear that you are still attending therapy. Therapy can be really helpful since we learn lots of coping strategies.

I hope things will improve for you and your husband. Please know that we are here for you.

UA