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Posted 9/30/2014 2:47 PM (GMT 0)
Ugh.

Had a full psych eval on friday the 26th.  I was expecting to FINALLY receive an official diagnosis and have a little clarity on how the Army would be proceeding with me.  BBUUTT I will not be receiving the results until friday the 10th at the doc's next available appointment.  She did say that from our time together and from the numerous elevations on the testing that there is definitely something from within: anxiety disorder of some sort, bipolor, PTSD (non-combat... from the year of helplessly watching my wife nearly die from cancer and suddenly recovering), OCD and probably a combination of some or all.  Needless to say, from that list, I am a very impatient person.

I've already left a message with her asking for a courtesy call if possible/legal when she has arrived at her results from the evaluation.  Nothing yet.

I feel like Tom Petty was right, the waiting is the hardest part.  My obsessiveness is going out of control and I can't even begin to think about anything else.  I swear, I might not be able to make it the almost two weeks!

Posted 10/1/2014 4:40 AM (GMT 0)
you will make it. try and not over think what will happen in terms of a dx. distraction is a good coping skill. mine is walking, when the pain isn't too bad, and the big one is music; been doing a little reading, this is amazing as i usually can never sit still long enough. yeah it sucks that you have to wait. in the meantime try and keep busy. take care. keep posting. eye doc tomorrow. vision is a bit tardy lately.
Posted 10/1/2014 4:48 AM (GMT 0)
Good luck with eye doc HT!!
Posted 10/1/2014 6:25 PM (GMT 0)
cilly - that makes the last two threads I've started looking for support/help about someone else.
Posted 10/2/2014 2:02 AM (GMT 0)

ninjasm said...
cilly - that makes the last two threads I've started looking for support/help about someone else.

My apologies friend ,it was unintentional and i never noticed it until you brought this issue up !

never meant any harm ~sorry!!!!!! cry cry sad sad
Posted 10/2/2014 6:24 AM (GMT 0)
sorry i should have not mentioned my eyes................maybe i should leave for good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mad mad devil devil mad mad mad devil devil
Posted 10/2/2014 9:47 AM (GMT 0)
we come in peace ninjasm.
Posted 10/2/2014 1:14 PM (GMT 0)
ninjasm, I'm glad you finally got the evaluation. Waiting for the results can bring on anxiety. Happy Turtle gave you some good points to help until you get the results. Keep yourself occupied with positive things. This will help.

Happy Turtle: You better not go anywhere! Please know that my e-mail is always open :-)

Cilly: Thank you for posting and supporting all members. I always appreciate you kind words cool .

ninjasm: all members support each other on the forum, and they also share their experiences and what's going on with them. Sharing can be helpful to us as we can learn things such as coping strategies that other members use, that we can use as well. I hope you understand :-)

Have a good day all!

UA
Posted 10/6/2014 2:53 PM (GMT 0)
Was able to move up results from friday to tomorrow morning... well, my appointment, at least, hopefully the results will be ready!
Posted 10/6/2014 3:39 PM (GMT 0)
Glad you got the app moved up to tom. Let us know how it goes.

UA
Posted 10/7/2014 12:37 AM (GMT 0)
good luck ninjasm!!
Posted 10/7/2014 1:22 PM (GMT 0)
doc called in sick. I swear it's all sitting on a report somewhere and it doesn't take a doctor to read it outloud.

Atleast they didn't cancel my Friday appointment.

I honestly do not know how I'm going to make it until friday. I've had three panic attacks in the last 24 hours.
Posted 10/13/2014 4:33 PM (GMT 0)
Hi ninjasm,

How was the app on Friday?

UA
Posted 10/14/2014 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
Sorry - stayed off the 'net for a long weekend!

Appt went as expected: OCD (primarily obsessive/ruminatative), bipolar and PTSD. She did ask for me to wait until she could confer with the psychiatrist before considering it official and telling my command. I see him tomorrow morning.

My wife thought a dog would be a good idea for me - so we adopted a retriever/poodle mix. At least I'm not as obsessive as the retriever!
Posted 10/15/2014 12:07 PM (GMT 0)
ninjasm, hope your app goes well today.

Dogs are very nice and caring. I have a soft spot for them. Any name for the new dog as yet?

UA
Posted 10/15/2014 3:16 PM (GMT 0)
Thanks. They are starting me on lamisomething. If I am responding positively then they will consider that diagnostic. Not sure career impacts at that point.
Posted 10/15/2014 3:50 PM (GMT 0)
lamictal

Post Edited (ninjasm) : 10/15/2014 9:57:21 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 10/18/2014 11:06 PM (GMT 0)
I hope this med will help you.

Take Care

UA
Posted 10/20/2014 3:46 PM (GMT 0)
Still no change with the Lamictal - I just stepped up to 50 mg. Each week 25 mg more. I understand from a lot of online research that this drug kicks in all at once for many people after reaching a threashold dose - different for each person. I am hoping that it's only another step or two. I'm to the point where this is almost feels like it is causing me physical pain. When the hell will the drugs work?!! Or when the hell can I move on out of this depression?! I wish I were a little worse so I could call it crisis and check myself in somewhere.
Posted 10/21/2014 5:35 PM (GMT 0)
ninjasm, talk to you dos about trying another med if you don't feel any better.

Remember to use breath and your coping skills :-).
Deep breathes... inhale and exhale...

In the mean time, do something you like - watch some nice funny movies, talk a walk outdoors, etc.

UA
Posted 10/21/2014 7:53 PM (GMT 0)
I walked-in to the docs office. They cut my Zoloft in half.
Posted 10/24/2014 11:15 AM (GMT 0)
I hope you will feel better with the adjustment.

UA
Posted 10/24/2014 1:02 PM (GMT 0)
Up to 75 mg Lamictal... can't tell if it's my imagination or that I really am starting to feel somewhat evened out. However they are not treating my OCD really at all right now - the spirals in my head are going crazy! I can't stop thinking about how this will impact my career, how I will be treated, when it will start working, and, sadly, about my own death. When I went to the doc last time and they cut my Zoloft they almost committed me until meds stabilized. Even though I'm constantly thinking about my family would be better off financially and, eventually, in happiness if I were gone, I'm not going to take any action myself to assure it happens. But the morbid thoughts are there. One reason I think being committed would be good though - FINALLY - some sort of patient education. I can read all the books, forums I want and receive general education for general definitions of the individual three conditions I am diagnosed with - but I really need a professional to understand how they interact with each other and manifest in me. I get drugs from them and I get them asking me questions with no feedback... but I really get nothing that feels personalized (other than the guinea pig experimentation of altering doses of drugs).

I went to my first AA meeting last night - I swear I was better off when I could have a drink or two to settle down. What's really wrong with self-medication if it works?!
Posted 10/27/2014 1:11 PM (GMT 0)
Over the weekend became very apparent that the Lamictal is working - or something else changed/cycled/whatevered - I do not feel wound up - I do not feel pressed down. I feel... even and good. Is this what normal feels like? This is so foreign! I'm now at 100mg of Lamictal and will stay there until I see the pill doc on the 12th. No word yet on my military future - still very anxious about that, though.
Posted 10/28/2014 1:06 AM (GMT 0)
It seems like the Lamictal is working. I'm glad the adjustments seems to be working. Keep monitoring it.

Use your coping skills to help you get through the time until you hear back about your career.

UA
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