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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 10/30/2014 2:16 PM (GMT 0)
My wife and I have been married for a year and a few months. I believe she is bi polar. She has issues with relationships and she lashes out at me constantly. She lays in bed all day and gets lost in tv shows. One minute she will be all happy and then a couple weeks she will talk about divorce. I try to be understanding but her dad has been diagnosed with bipolar also. He has mood swings also. She bounces back and forth with life decisions and acts depressed and then will act happy. One day she thought I talked to a lawyer about divorce and she acted sad and her mood changed and she wanted to be with me and a few days later she was back acting like she wants divorce. I need help and understanding.
Posted 10/30/2014 2:50 PM (GMT 0)
Hi JP! Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry that you and your wife are going through this difficult time. Is your wife currently on medication? Could you persuade her to see a Psychiatrist for an official diagnosis. If it is bipolar, then he can get her onto meds immediately if she isn't already on meds. I am bipolar and understand. Meds is a definite must for me. I am on a mood stabilizer and an antipsychotic. I now am stable after 10 yrs of trying different meds and much therapy. Know that we are here for you. There is hope. Just don't wait, get help immediately. Let us know how it goes. Thinking of you both.
Posted 10/30/2014 3:08 PM (GMT 0)
No she isn't on meds. I wouldn't even know how to talk to her about it. How would I present this idea that she is bipolar
Posted 10/30/2014 3:14 PM (GMT 0)
Just go about it in a gentle manner. Just tell her that you've noticed her symptoms and that it would be best for her to seek professional help asap and get a diagnosis.
Posted 11/1/2014 1:19 AM (GMT 0)
Hello jpbradshaw,

Welcome to the forum!

I too would suggest that you get your wife to see a doctor so she can get a diagnosis and some help. Talk to her and let her know what you have observed about her behavior. Let her know that you are and you are looking out for her. You want her to feel better and you will be there for her.

To get more information on Bipolar, please feel free to check out our resources section:
www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=13&m=350839

I hope your wife will seek treatment.

UA
Posted 11/1/2014 1:22 AM (GMT 0)
She didn't take to we'll to it. She told me I was crazy. She said that if she goes to the doctor all they will do is put her on medication. She never denied it though. She told me she wanted a divorce because I thought she was crazy.
Posted 11/1/2014 1:26 AM (GMT 0)
Let her know that being Bipolar does not mean someone is crazy. Maybe talk to her a bit about what is it, how it can be treated, etc. Let her know that if she seeks help, the doc will be able to explain about it to her as well and show her that being Bipolar does not mean someone is crazy.

UA
Posted 11/1/2014 1:27 AM (GMT 0)
The symptoms I've mentioned what do you think
Posted 11/1/2014 10:59 AM (GMT 0)
there are many various forms of bi-polar. it is a complex disorder. give her a chance to digest the information. keep mental notes of behaviour, this will help the doc when you get to see the doc. my mantra on the forums and in life is 'slow and steady wins the race'. please know that bi-polar disorder is a very complex and disorientating disorder. believe me, with support, treatment and care things will get better. stay strong. from a man with bi-polar i am glad that my fiance is there for me. and i am glad that you are there for her. it may, get a little difficult before it gets better, that is just the way with the complexities of the disorder. i send many healing thoughts your way.

ps. utilize support services in your community for information regarding services and referal. your local mental health center is a good starting place. try and get her to see the doc even if it is just for a check up. keep posting.
Posted 11/2/2014 8:17 PM (GMT 0)
Hi, there.
Once upon a time, I didn't think that anything was wrong with me. Friends gently suggested that "talking" to someone might make me feel better. The tone was one of helping, not judging or accusing. (not implying you are judging or accusing!)

Point is, I started with my family doctor, and then my mental health care matured to talk therapy and a psychiatrist who can prescribe medication. Once a neutral 3rd party (doctor, therapist) is involved, and trust is established, you can take a backseat and just be supportive, which I'm sure is what you'd prefer.

It is not your specialty or your job to fix or heal your partner. At least you are paying attention enough to know that there is something different going on with her behavior/personality. My first husband was clueless, and then in denial, and mocked the whole process of treating mental health issues. They are real, and just as debilitating as physical illness, if not more so because they are invisible.

Hang in there and try a loving approach:

"I know that you must be stressed, babe. I am too. The first year of marriage is one the toughest ones. I'm not the best listener, and as a man, I'll always try to "fix" things. Maybe a female therapist would be an awesome experience for you since they are trained and you'd have complete privacy to discuss anything that's bothering you.I know it worked for ______. She's feeling so much better now." Etc, etc, etc,.

Good luck
Posted 11/4/2014 2:23 PM (GMT 0)
Hi JP! Have you made any progress with your wife yet? If only she would agree to see a Psychiatrist. It would make things much easier for both of you. Be strong and let us know how it's going.
Posted 11/6/2014 5:05 PM (GMT 0)
JP---
I still think that it is less inflammatory to start with a suggestion to get into her family doctor for an annual check-up. You can find out if there is an underlying physical problems adding to the pressure that she is feeling. Anemia, thyroid problems, nutritional deficiencies, etc. can cause mental health symptoms as well, such as confusion, fatigue, irritability, disconnected thoughts, anxiety, etc.

It's a lot easier to start there than heading straight to a med doc, which is what most psychiatrists are. Talk therapy with a therapist would be a nice offer to her; she may just want someone to talk to.

Keep us posted, and good luck.

Best,
HFH
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