BP wife thinking suicidal and obsessed in fantasy?

vision bad, but read the last two paragraphs. keep well and keep strong. just remember that talk of suicide can be triggering to some members. me.

i don't feel it warrants an alert or anything.

It sounds like she is fixated on him, maybe some obsessive thinking. I wouldn't call this love, of course I am not her, but to me it sounds like the disease. Unfortunately I don't know what it will take for her to let it go or how far she will take it. She's def not stable if she's still as depressed as it sounds like she is. Maybe need to raise the latuda. Tell all this to her doc. I hope she is able to snap out of her current obsessive thinking/depression, it is a hard place to be. Take care of yourself tho too, don't want you to be crushed if she acts out.

Hi l0sthusband,

Firstly, please know that we are not allowed to discuss suicide on the forum. I edited your last paragraph in your post. I things is it a good idea that your are going to inform her pdoc about this. It is important. Please be sure to monitor her actions when she mentions these thoughts.

I'm sorry to hear that things haven't been the best. Did you two start counseling? I can't recall...

I know that you have been there for your partner and your have been very kind and supportive to her. I would suggest that you take care of you now. You have been continuously trying but for some reason your partner doesn't seem to feel the same way.
I understand when you say you're an old school love type... But sometimes, we just have to accept things the way it is and move on. These kinds of relationship can do harm to use instead of good. Please don't neglect yourself. Take care of you for a change. You are a kind and wonderful person and should be treated with kindness too.

UA

10thshusband.

ps. it is up to the mods to decide this, albeit alerts are there for posts that require immediate attention. members can and are advised to alert admin of posts that are deemed 'at risk' especially with self harm and talk of suicide. yours was not, but it was triggering, that is all i said. UA forum moderator decided to edit your post.

you are being strong. i know this. keep being strong. due to vision impairement i often skim read posts, esp longer ones. as a long term member i feel it important to highlight things of this nature to admin, if serious, the mods if available. the triggering part was personal to me, but may also be to other members.

i should have read your post in full. sorry. thanks for your kind words on my thread. know that i am here for YOU and all of you. i actually admire the strength you have shown. i will re-read, even with glasses i do struggle at times, diabetic retinapathy-probably from posting too much. but i LOVE you guys. this to me is paying it forward. i se to do volunteer work awhile back, but i am not medically well enoughto do what i was doing, thus hw is it for me. hw and i are a relationship, a continual work in progress, i learn from you guys, i give some wisdom, we share the love and progress we are making. it is all about the caring and sharing. i hope you have not taken any offence to this post. you are important. you need some support, we are here for that. many healing thoughts.

Thank you for sharing so openly! You are both traveling a difficult road. It's good to celebrate the small successes when you have them. Have you started any individual or couples counseling?

~Ducktapetherapy77

Actually, the appointment went very well. Because of the way she feels so overwhelmed, anxious and filled with sadness most of the day and until she gets home, she was approved to double her daily Latuda dosage from 20mg to 40mg.

It was interesting because at first the pdoc saw her "crew" (i.e. myself and her social worker) and asked that my wife come in by herself. I came to find out later, and for good reason, that the last time he had talked with her, we had been separated. So when I was asked to come in, with his gentle smile, talked briefly about how supportive I was and how it must have been difficult to work through the mess.

I'd say "he has no idea", but I'd be stupid to think this. He is a great doctor, so it's nice knowing my wife feels his comfort when she is there, that she is human and not "going crazy".

I don't think she is up to a "therapeutic" dosage of her medication, but it's nice seeing that she is getting the help she deserves.

I haven't had a single anxiety attack or felt...worried?...for our relationship since she ended her conversations with "the other guy", so that in itself has proven that she can confide in me and feel safe in my arms. She has told me repeatedly over the last couple days that just being near me reading (we read a lot) and having me close makes her calm and safe.

We talked open and honestly about her one on one conversation with her pdoc, mostly about me. She explained that before, when she was thinking about leaving me originally, she couldn't cry in front of me because she felt ashamed, so she then reached out to this other man and built this trust with him instead of me.

I accept this, and have since all of this began in September. I am just so lucky to have a wife that accepts and works through her illness like she has, and that she is committed enough to continue fighting. She told me that without me this last 6 weeks, she would not have survived. I am so happy to know that I was this instrumental in her healing, it makes me proud to be that man for her.

She admits that her bipolar didn't help with the idea and eventual commitment to leave me, but that my absence in her life when she needed me (through the depression, before BP diagnosis) was the larger part of it. I agree with her on this front but obviously have my own ideas on everything afterward, but I am smart enough to leave it be and work forward with her.

Our daughter is getting older, and therefore more sharp and intelligent, by the day it seems. It's only a matter of time before I have to sit with her to have a discussion. Has anyone else had this conversation before? Is it something we need to talk with her together (my wife and I), I believe it is.

She is still only 4 years old, and all I have ever told her was explain it like this, "Who is this house is sad often?", "Mommy", "And what do we do when someone is sad?", "We tell her we love her and give her biiiiig hugs and kisses".

I have suggested that mommy is "sick" but never really more than that, and she makes an incredible effort (for a four year old) to listen and abide by our rules, but her constant affection and attention to making sure we are loved is all her. I don't ask for hugs or kisses, she is just so willing to be this loving and caring little girl. She reminds me of her mother. :)

Once again, this forum is definitely my go-to place as I have had nothing but positive support from its members and moderators, but everyone has also been incredibly honest about my actions, reactions, views. It means a lot to me, since I am just a cut-and-dry kind of individual. I don't like beating around the bush.

I am told often on these posts that my wife is lucky to have a supportive husband. I am just fortunate to have a wife who can see that she wants better. It just bothers me that I am a rare breed, it seems there are more horror stories about people with mental illness that go their entire lives without the familial support they require.

How can a person become better for themselves if the people around them do not want to learn from them or understand them? I now see why individuals who are afflicted with mental illness think "what's the point?", and so I make sure I come on forums and other areas to suggest some of what I am doing, how I feel about it, to maybe help others like me be there for their loved ones. I hope it brings a sense of assurance for those who don't have anyone in their personal lives, that there ARE people willing to be with you and work with you, it's just difficult to find that person...or even more difficult, have those people learn and understand.

Thanks again

Glad everything is going good and your appt was a success. Hope it all continues that way! My kids are 3 and 7 and we have never had a big "talk" but I'm an open book so anytime they feel like they need to question something or get confused I'd be honest about it. For now they do understand mommy is sick, because they see me take multiple meds and go to many appts. I also have to request them to be quiet sometimes, and tell them mommy's brain feels sick and I need quiet. I guess since its their norm they don't think it's a big deal. Kids handle stuff pretty well. Good luck!

l0sthusband, that's great to hear! I'm glad the app went well. I hope the increase dosage in meds will help your wife.

It sounds like you two are having great progress positive. This is good. I hope things will continue to go well.

UA