Bipolar Diagnosed

I have not been on the forum for many years now. At the time, I was fighting depression and anxiety. Since that time, I have finally been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, OCD, anxiety disorder and depression that goes along with all of that. I am extremely sensitive to medicines, which has become a problem. Side-effects have ruined a couple hopeful medicines I was on. I am currently taking Clonazepam for anxiety, Escitalopram for depression, and I just started generic Depakote at 250 mg every other day. My psychiatrist is well aware of my sensitivity to medicines. I was on lithium carbonate for about a month or so at very low levels, and it gave me such bad intestinal problems, i had to quit using it. It caused me to have intense stomach-flu like issues for four days straight. That's why we are trying depakote now. My bipolar is not the classic bipolar with typical huge swings between mania and depression. It is more rapid cycle, but not always, but I have been in a depressed state for most of a year now, with few "ups." We are attempting to use depakote as a mood stabilizer to try to bring me out of my depression. The lithium was actually working to do that, but the side-effects were too much to take. The list of ADs I have been on over the years is a handful, and either because of ineffectiveness or side-effect issues, I had to stop taking all of them. That's one of the reasons my newest psychiatrist felt I had bipolar - and looking back at my life, I have to agree with her. I have had several times in my life in which I can see now I was in a "manic" condition. The severity of my sensitivity to meds though has me disillusioned. I was on Zipsor for neck injuries I sustained in an auto accident. I had taken it for several years without any problems at all - and it was quite effective. Then one day at work I took one pill, and I had a life-threatening severe reaction - just like that. I ended up in the ER and was pumped up with more benedryl and steroids than I had ever taken before in my life. Because of that severe reaction, I can no longer take NSAIDs of any kind because we are not sure it was just the Zipsor or if it was something to do with all NSAIDs that caused the reaction. Dealing with my neck injuries, I used to take a lot of motrin every day, which is why my reg Dr. believes I could be now allergic to all NSAIDs and not just the Zipsor. On top of my bipolar, I have a number of external influences that contribute to both my anxiety and depression. I work at a very crappy job, and I have to work at that job four days over 100 mile from home. I'm back on Healing Well because of my bipolar diagnosis and because I feel very hopeless about ever getting a medicine to allow me to put some happiness back in my life. Every morning I go through bouts of anxiety, and I have to take both Escitalopram and Clonazepam to get through them. In my depressed state, I become a loner from people. I interact, but I have to force that interaction. I have been seeing a psychologist, but I don't seem to be getting anything out of it. I can't talk with my family about this, my friends, or really anyone. When I have tried, no one seems to get it. They think I can just "snap" out of it, or that a med I take is going to have some miraculous effect on my personality. It's a very lonely world for me. I have changed my user name from when I was last on HealingWell - I guess to leave behind the old and to move forward with something new. - Taygeta

Hi Dancing Dawn,

Thanks for your encouragement and caring. You are so right about there being no magic bullet. I'd be content with getting something that just got close. Unfortunately, with the meds I have been on, they have been all off target. This issue with becoming more and more sensitive and allergic to medicines over the past five years or so has me disillusioned because I am fraught with anxiety every time I am asked to try a new med. The list of meds I cannot take anymore is over a dozen now, and it really is tough not to be able to take NSAIDS for pain because there is only one over the counter alternative - Tylenol, which is not particularly effective for me, and everything else is a narcotic by prescription. I cannot agree more with your statement about it being a lonely and frustrating place to be in - when others don't get it. I've been in that situation since 2008, and that is a very long time.

Best to you. Thanks again for your comments.

Hello Taygeta,

Welcome back to the forum ! I am glad that you're posting again.

I am very sorry for everything you have been through. *Hugs*
My mom is also very sensitive and has to be careful with the meds she uses.

It is hard when other around us do not understand. But please know that you are not alone. We are here for you. None of my family members knew I attended therapy or about my issues. My mother never believed that therapy can help so I did not tell anyone.

Is it possible for you to use both allergy meds and your meds for the anxiety, Bipolar, etc. together? This way the allergy meds will help the allergic reactions. Just a thought...maybe you can ask your doc.

I hope you would find the right meds that will help you.

UA

It took me a while to work on posting here again, been thinking about it for months - all that nasty depression and anxiety keeping me from doing it.

I really have no one I can talk to about my issues because it will turn into a conversation as if I had a broken leg or something - pain meds, rest, and PT will have you back to normal in no time . . . Plus most people don't understand mental conditions at all, and I really have to know someone very well before I'd even bring it up, if I would at all.

That's some good advice on the allergy meds, but unfortunately, I don't do all that well on allergy meds when it comes to the drowsiness side effects. One benedryl will knock me out completely. Non-drowsy claritin makes me drowsy. Zyrtec does the same. I will bring it up to my Dr. though for her thoughts on that.

I never know when side effects will hit me with the meds. Lithium took five days before I started getting them. I tried working with it for over a month to weather out the gastrointestinal issues, but they never went away. I was on Celebrex once, for inflammation, and it took a month before I started getting bad side effects. Cymbalta nearly killed me over time as I continued to get more and more side effects until I thought I was literally "losing my mind" about what was happening to me. I dropped that cold turkey, and I found out what that was like - ugh. I wouldn't touch an AD for about two years after that experience.

And in almost all cases, I am never even close to the maximum doses recommended. My lithium was daily 300 mg to start, then finally dropping back to 150 mg every other day still did me in. Sadly, when I wasn't on the toilet or feeling like I was going to throw up, the med did relieve my depression and mood swings to some extent. I lost 12 lbs thanks to lithium, within 2 weeks, but I wouldn't recommend it as a weight loss strategy.

I do hope I find the right combo of meds to help me, but I am not encouraged due to my history so far. Thanks for your thoughts! - Taygeta

Yes. This medicine sensitivity issue really complicates things. Yes. I am still working while all of this is going on. It is definitely an issue. My job just adds to the anxiety and depression, so there are some days I am counting the minutes to get out of there. Work is a complete drag, whether its because of my bipolar or its because I'm on some new med that's giving me fits. I dread working anymore. And others at work have noticed my moods - every now and then I get one of these, you seem to be down lately, what's going on? Pretty much impossible to make a response to that except to lie. Yes. Family and friends - that's another thing in itself. Even though they know there is an issue, they don't fully understand what the issue is. Again, it's the thought I have a headache, and a couple of Tylenol will cure it, and I will be back to normal. Thanks for your thoughts and encouragement. - Taygeta

Thanks, HT!

Trying my best to keep strong. - Taygeta

Hi taygeta,

I usually lurk in the anxiety and depression forums. My therapist recently started exploring the idea of bipolar ii with me, so I came over here for a browse.

I recently read a book called Highly Sensitive People by Elaine Aron. I, too, am super sensitive to medicines, have severe allergies (get allergy shots and had anaphalaxis last week in the allergist's office from my shots) and have a lot of sensitive sensory issues (hate loud noises, etc). I highly recommend it. You can also just google that term and there is so much info out there about being highly sensitive. I showed it to my spouse and his reaction was astonishment that I had found something that described me. It was like, finally, I know that it's not just me!