Re post in proper place - HELP For LOST MOM

I'm new here I will start by saying that I am not so new to moods dis orders as I am to computors yes I know it's 2006

My daughter is 15 yrs old she has been seeing docs since she was 6 1/2 when thank god a doc listined to me than they said she had ocd. Depression. Anxiety. And a leaning disability. What a hand full.

So I started taking her 2x aweek 4hours up and 4 hours back to see spec docs.

Now eight years later we lean she has bp1 mixed and black moods help me I am at a loss. I feel that everything I have been doing for eight long years is for nothing. She can bearly talk to me w/o flying off the handle. She is in the hosp. Now 10 days so far and is on abilify. How long before is works so we can sit down with doc and have a talk

I'm sorry this is so long I just am so empty and lost.

its ok i was in your position yesterday with my own stuff and you will find the board is more active in the evening (if your in the US ) which i guess (?) is later in the night in the UK. Also, dont feel alone if noone answers for a while sometimes its hard to find the right thing to say.

Hi Lost,

Welcome to HW! -- I hope you find lots of good advice and great listeners here. -- It's a really good place to come and find out things that the regular "diagnostic" webpages don't tell you (*can't* tell you, because it's all the human stuff).

You poor thing! Such a difficult thing to watch happening to your daughter -- and so difficult for her to go through too at an age when there really are enough problems aimply with growing up. Hugs to you.

I know that right now it must seem terrible that your daughter has been hospitalised for this, but very often this is a real lifesaver -- just the right thing to kick-start the recovery process. In hospital she will get intensive therapy and monitored meds. No, things will probably not be "normal" when she comes out, but she will have had a lot of help and the feedback to her psychiatrist will be invaluable for continuing down the recovery road.

Bipolar probably seems like a life sentence right now -- but that's because it hasn't been being managed. With all those other things she's bee diagnosed with, I'm betting she was put on anti-anxiety/depression medication, and without a mood stabiliser they can trigger the mania of bipolar. Now that the docs have diagnosed her with bipolar, she will have meds to keep her stable. Sometimes finding the right combination can take a bit of time (it's different for different people sadly), but that process has begun. As you speak more to the great folks on this board, you will realise that people who suffer from bipolar and managing it with meds that work for them can function very well indeed in life, and I hope that makes oyu see the light at the end of the tunnel for many conversations with your daughter in the future.

Please don't feel that everything you've been doing is for nothing. -- You've been working on the information you had, and the love that you've shown counts for a great deal -- and your daughter will know that.

Fortunately with the age your daughter is at you will probably be very much included in therapy sessions and that will help you learn more about the condition and how to help your daughter manage it. But I would also say that it would help you a lot to have your own counselling: this has already been painful and exhausting for you, and you probably could do with an outlet for you to talk and get help for how the circumstances have been and are affecting you.

All of the books I've read on bipolar disorder have been focused on adults, but there are books out there that concentrate on how to cope with a bipolar child. I just typed "bipolar" and "child" into the amazon.com search box and a good few titles came up. I would explore these and learn as much as you can about how best to help your daughter -- which in turn will help you. Reading up on the disorder and knowing hhow to handle difficult situations as a result saved me from all the confusion and seemingly random (but not really) behaviour of my ex. I think this kind of thing will give you things to hold onto -- and in times of crisis something to go back to and settle your mind.

I'm really glad I found you and that CounterCanter was around to help you out with the post. I hope you'll post here often.

Take care.

Rosie x

P.S. Would it be ok for you to take tha caps lock off to write your posts? -- I know some people find it difficult to read all capitals (and to some people all capitals reads like shouting). -- I just want to make sure that as many people as possible read your posts and can respond because what you're asking about really is very important. x

lost,

i am 60 yrs old and hve poblems all my life.  when i was a teenager, in the late 50s, my mother finally took me to a psychiatrist (pdoc).  i was diagnosed (dxed) with depression and prescribed meds (rx). in those days depression was one of the few diagnoses in the book.  i was on and off these meds until i was in my 50s.  i was then dxed with bp.  consider yourself lucky that it was only 8 yrs.

thomas edison tired over 1000 times to invent a light bulb and failed with each attempt.  someone asked him if he felt like a failure.  "no," he replied.  "i just discovered over 1000 ways NOT to invent a light bulb."  nothing is wasted in love.

warren

Hi Lost Mom,

So sorry to hear about your daughter--but glad she is being diagnosed at a young age.  The earlier the symptoms are treated in life, the less severe the course of the disease, is what I was told.  Untreated episodes cause a "kindling" effect--they escalate each time.  I was diagnosed at around 35 but know I have had the disease since I was in my teens.  I medicated for years (till 30) with drugs and alcohol.  Not a good mix with bp!  but...everything for a reason I guess. 

Remember she is still the child you gave birth to--this is all just part of her individual journey.  Don't look into the future and try not to have your pain in advance.  Today will put enough for you to concern yourself with.  It really does help to do the day at a time thing with this illness.  Sometimes that is the hardest thing for me to remember and I get caught up in what-ifs and scary scenes of the future.  It isn't here yet and I can't go there in my head because I always come up with worst case scenarios. 

Two months ago I could barely walk or leave the sofa.  Today I feel so good--change in meds, change in outlook, some gratitude.  BP is a disease of change, just like life. 

She is lucky to have such a loving Mom.  And you don't sound so lost--you sound like you are grieving the diagnosis of your beloved daughter.  Thank God for your humanity.

Sue

Hi Mom,
I hope you feel better now that you have gooten some support from our group. My oldest daughter had OCD, is developmentally disabled and is bipolar. I started taking her to a Pdoc when she was bout 12, at puberty. She would go in to severe depressions, or very hyperactive. I still say that she has OCD with hyperactivity, but the pdoc says she is bipolar. Anyway, be sure you are very involved in every aspect of the treatment. I hope you are up to it. Get you an advocate if you can. Your mental health agencies in your city can help you with this. They will help you through hurdles you migh thave to go through with your daughter. There is a group called NAMI that you can check out. Like others have said, it is good that your daughter is being diagnoised now. I was treated for depression for years before finally getting the dx of bipolar and the depression meds. can make bipolar better.

Keep us posted and learn all you can. I Know you are afraid and feel lost, but you have support here and you can find it any time you write.

Be Well,

Judy