Promiscuity linked to bp?

Hi Cait,

Welcome to HW!

Sounds like there are a couple of issues here. The first is the bp, and yes that is associated with increased promiscuity, or sexual risk-taking. But that's normally when it's untreated and it sounds like either your meds could do with tweaking or that there's something else that needs attention here. The thing that makes me think it's a something else rather than just the bp/meds (though it could be both) is what you say about your self-image seems critical to me -- and something that you could start to address in counselling: it will take time to adjust all your self-perception to a level of real acceptance, but I do think you need to work on this with a psychologist -- maybe with cognitive behavioural therapy (great for addressing the day-to-day issues that are associated with mindset).

From what you write, btw, I don't think you're boy-mad either, and I certainly don't judge you for what you've been doing. -- My sense is that this is an expression of a real unhappiness with yourself and a way of gaining some kind of (short-term) validation. Your self-awareness strongly suggests to me that this would be a good time to address the core problems in your therapy.

Keep us posted hun!

Rosie x

Hey there beyond

You have probably heard this before, and it probably sounds like self-help speak. But you cannot find assurance from anyone but yourself. Why is your self worth based on what kind of boyfriend you can land?

I am ashamed to tell you this, but I used to be one of the type of guys that preyed on girls in similar situations to yours. Stop thinking of yourself as not pretty, or that no one wants you. So what if you don't have a boyfriend! Your self worth can never be determined by your partner. You had two boyfriends, why is it your fault you are no longer with them? If you truly read into your desciption of them, they were not good enough for you! That is not meant as a criticism, it is a fact. You are too valuable for the likes of them.

As a guy that used this despicable behavior, I would look for girls that wanted companionship so badly they would use sex to get it. I would get my sexual satisfaction from them, then completely forget about them. I would even be angry with them for not forgetting about me, until the next time I wanted to use them for my own pleasure.

Like I said, I am ashamed of my past behavior. I hurt alot of girls. As I said, I preyed on girls seeking companionship. Yes preyed, meaning I would seek them out, use them, then destroy them emotionally. I guess I could blame my BP for this behavior, but BP doesn't really explain this type of obscene cruelty. Maybe I could also blame the abuse I received from my Mother. My Dad was an outstanding man, but he was murdered when I was young, leaving me in the hands of a very emotionally unstable mother. But those are just excuses for the vile scum I was.

Maybe the guys you meet are not like me, but as you see, I was much more unwanted than you will ever be. Even your tag, "BeyondtheGraySky" exhibits that you have a beauty around you. Don't hide it.

Here is what will attract a companion worth being with. Confidence in yourself. Good men are attracted to women that exude confidence in themselves, what they do, and what company they keep. These type of men do no frequent bars. They have a confidence about them as well. These men hangout in schools making good grades, or repectatable social clubs, or even Church or Synagogue, . If you approach these men with a "they would never want me," they won't. If you approach them with an attitude of confidence that you are valuable and and a great person to be with, they will be attracted to you. If they aren't, so what. Their loss. And as for baggage, I had many steamer trunks full of junk. But my wife is the best wife a man can have, and she took a loser like me for some reason which I have never understood.

I will apologize for the behavior of the men that have been very cruel to you. We are too ugly, useless, and despicable to even afford a glance from you.

Good luck

Cap

When I get manic I get sex drive like crazy,

Cait,
Welcome to Healing Well and the members that posted to you were honest and sincere. That is admirable.
Please don't put your self down, I agree the bipolar meds need tweaking if your still having problems with sexual promiscuity. No one here is judigng you.
I also could see the poor self esteem and the combination may be causing the reckless behavior. Please know that this is a common trait in Bipolar patients but there is hope and everyone here is so supportive.
I have suffered from low self esteem so I know that feeling well, I am not bipolar but anxiety/depression is my dx. I have known and worked with people with bipolar so I do have great empathy for how your feeling.
Please be kind to yourself and find a therapist that you can establish a good relationship with to help you.
Gentle Hugs

Hi Learning Coffee,

Lots of counties or cities have clinics which offer counseling and mental health services on sliding scales. Ask your wife's doc. Even if you have insurance, they can often offer better rates because they can take bills into account.

serafena

Replystreet, please don't take offense, but are you a 'bot?

Laughing -- I think so. Boards are often "visited" by automated "robots" which are really just advertisements.