Going crazy!!!!

first, i want to talk about your son.  14 is a TERRIBLE age.  the hormones just begin to flow.  parts of the body grow at different rates as other parts (mom, is my nose too big?).  kids at this age are prone to "falling in love."  i call it "falling n harmones."  my grandkids hhated it when i said that.  lol

add to this internal physical and psychological turmoil the trauma of a sepaation/divorce and the emotions associated with THAT and you have nitro getting mexed with glycerine.  shaken, not stirred.  your watch especially for changes in behavior.  you mentioned that he had a hard time in school last yr.  is this unusual?  has he gotten a new set of friends?  is he more secretive than a normal 14 yr old?  don't be a drudge or a spy,  but, if you love him, watch him closely.  he could (not necessarily will) get mixed up with the underworld of drugs or gangs.  he is a prime target for these bast*rds.

to counter any unwanted inppingement on him, give him a LOT of attention and see id your husband (ex?) can too.  let him know that he's ok and has nothing to do with your breakup.  you might also consider counceling (lady dragonfly, who is studying to be a coucelor, would undoubtedly agree with this sugestion).

now, for your other question.  i call it the "heebee jeebies."  it is common with bp (from my personal experience and from what i have read) as well as with several forms of mental illness.  it isn't "normal" behavior, but it is not unusual given the probability of illness.  the restlessness is a symptom of the disease, it is not a disease in and of itself.  if he is not hurting hmself or anybody else, let him act it out.  but be careful.  one of the symptoms of mania is spending a lot of money that you may, or may not, have.  if you can, keep an eye on the savings, checking, and credit card accounts.  as with your son, you don't have to be beligerant or harsh.  just keep an eye on things.  when he's out, he is unsuperrvised and can get himeslf, and the family, in trouble.

my wife is a gem.  when i get the heebee jiebies, she says, "ok.   where are we going?"  and off we'll go.  once in england we went from london all the way to the gauer penninsula in wales!  i have chronic debilitating back pain and take narcotics for the pain.   my pain management dr put me on morphene yesterrday.  god the pain was aweful!!!!!!!!!!  i drive as little as possible.  if i have an accident, it's automatically my fault beacause i'm taking narcotics and if i get stopped for any reason i can go to jail because i carry some with me at all times in case i get bad "breakthrough" pain.  but that's my problem and a totally different story.

you asked how you deal with his acting out?  disassociate yourself from his behavior.  recognise that it's his illness and not yours.  also get in close contact with your own emotions.  again, therapy might help.  you may love him, but right now his behavior is unacceptable and hurtful.  see it for what it is ans act accordingly.

hope this helps.

warren

my ego is really massaged by your faith in me.  i an a 60 yr old man (61 on the 29nd) who has lived a long time - some say too long.    heck, if i'd have known i'd live this long, i'd have taken better care of meyself.  what i do on this and other forums is to share my experiences with others to lighten their burdens, point them in a healthful direction, and let them know that they are not alone.  these are experiences and opinions.  they are to be taken for what they are.  no more and no less.  i am not a dr, nor a therapist.  i don't have the education, the experience, nor the license.  i care a lot about you and the rest of this dysfunctional cyber "family."  that's why i share what i do. i want to help and hope that what i say will help.  sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.  sometimes people get angry at what i have to say (see my postings on the chronic pain forum - lol).  that's the beauty of a public forum like this.

you did a "no no" in one of your posts.  NEVER put your e-mail address on a posting and be VERY reluctant to put in in your public profile.  this is a public forum.  anyone can (and does) read these postings and profiles.  geoffry dommer could be cyber-stalking you right now.  lol.  not really, but i hope yo get the point.  it's just not a good idea.

i never give out my e-mail address on the internet.  to me it's like my social security number.  i don't even give my ssn to doctors.  the only legal reason they need them is to fill out a death certificate and i don't plan on dieing any time soon.  i accept and thrive on the annonymity of forums like this.  you can picture me any way you want and i can do the same for you.  i think that's wonderful.  it also provides a distance which makes conversations like this easier.  i doubt if you would stop me on the street and present your problems to me.     for that matter, if i were just a man off the street and told you what i did in this thread i doubt if you would give it much credance.

just some thoughts for you to consider.

warren

i'm glad you cleaned up the e-mail thing.  it could really lead to bad experiences.

what i was trying to do in my last post was to put my advice in perspective.  yes, i've been a lot of places and done a lot of things in my life.  i have had to start from scratch and rebuild my life from nothing three times.  i have been penniless and have grown and prospered.  i have had people try to murder me and have lived long enough to see them die in agony.  this is all actual experience.  i give my experience as freely as the birds give their song.  i just hope that what i contriute is helpful and never hamful.  i have received this help from this forum myself and consider it a quid pro quo. 

when i see a thread that i think may benefit from my comments, i enter a post.  what is done with that post is up to the recipient.  it is an expression of personal experience is is NOT a substatute for professional counceling. 

you, or anyone in this forum, can ask for my help or opinion anytime.  as you said, i've probably been there and can tell my experience.  helping is a mitzvah in judaism:  a happily given religious duty.  this is my mitzvah.

i hope this clears things up a bit.  please take care of yourself and see to your son.

warren

After reading some of your advice and troubles I feel like my problems are not that important. I finally talked to the nurse at the clinic and she wants me to go and get evaluated. The hospital is a good 50 miles away. It is really to isolated, and I would feel so bad thinking that my boy does'nt know where I am. He is 4. And even if I go in, the house will be a mess when I come out. It is just a given that I will have at least 2 days of cleaning. Then again my wife does work and I can see how hard it would be to come home and then clean, and have the boy, and cook dinner. I don't know what I am going to do. I know I should go but it is just so hard for me to go. PEACE OF THE LORD.

Copster  , you are master of your own things now , and you can rest easy knowing that that will never happen to you again , and that you would never do that to your own child

Warren , I NEED one , no TWO (dozen!) of those amazing growing toy boxes - maybe your dad had a peculiar way of teaching you to swim , but have you ever tried to swim through toys?