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Is mania always Happy or can it be extramly Angry

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Posted 10/3/2007 3:28 PM (GMT 0)
I have been trying to 'Define' what stages I believe My Husband to be in incase we ever do make it to the dr.

There are definatly times when he is Overly Happy, hanging out and Partying with 20 somethings and acting as if he is the life of the party.

Then there is the depressed, wants to sleep and do nothing and just simply dosn't care.

But then there's MAD.  Throughs things, breaks things, says mean things that he later denies saying (generaly spits out impliess suicide threats in this phase).   He sometimes goes into these rages all on his own (at least I am not aware of a trigger) and sometimes It is something I have said or done....  Is this part of Mania? as these generaly happen in the midst of a down....

Also I am pretty convinved he's having an affair, which he is still adamently denying.  But he rages at this "friend" as well ... Is this Normal? 

Posted 10/3/2007 4:38 PM (GMT 0)
SW,

No, it is not always fun and games. I have issues with "rages" too, when I have mania or a mixed-episode. It is not common for everyone, but it is with others. I have gotten in a few fist figths with friends before, and of course got my b*** kicked.
Posted 10/3/2007 5:45 PM (GMT 0)

SW,

Greetings :-)

I am not BP but my partner is.  I have read books on the subject, joined forums online about it and also attend weekly support groups for it too.  I have learned that BP has different stages and symptoms.   Yes, rage and anger are definitely symptoms of an episode.  

You've taken the right step by joining HW as there are very informative people here that are willing to share their own experiences as a form of helping another out.  This is really a great place to educate yourself.  However, it's not the only source to be tapped in order to learn more about BP.  Reading some books on the subject and joining a support group can really help. 

If you'd like, I can offer up some great books to read as well as other websites supporting BP and depression.

Unfortunately infidelity is another symptom of mania episodes, but this is not the case with everyone and while it may be suspected, the best thing to do is believe innocense until proven guilty....as hard as that may seem to be to practice. 

Reading your post, it sounds like your spouse hasn't seen a doctor yet regarding his illness.  Has he been dx by a doctor yet? 

Describing the different moods he exibits, sounds like classic BP, but I am not a professional so it's only a guess.

Try and take care of yourself an hang in there..

WCC

Posted 10/3/2007 7:52 PM (GMT 0)
Mania often includes anger. It rarely stays just "over-happy." It usually turns sour somehow.

As a BPII, I don't get the happy-party mania's, I get the "I'm going to rip everyone's head off if they don't get out of my way" hypomanias. I get very irritable and impatient. And once again, not all angry bps throw things at our loved ones and threaten suicide while denying anything is wrong and refusing to get treatment. That's your husband. Most bps know when things aren't right and we want to fix them.

(I've never gotten in fist fights, though. Remind me not to mess with Olivia.) Yikes.
Posted 10/3/2007 9:48 PM (GMT 0)

SW,

What you wrote sounds so much like bipolar to me.  The doctor needs to make the dx of course, but it sounds so classic.  The anger is definitely a part of all of the bp symptoms sometimes.  It's definitely there for me.  Bipolar is really an awful thing to deal with and live with. 

It's got to get better SW, it has to; it will.  Hang in there.

Posted 10/3/2007 10:55 PM (GMT 0)
The more I Read on here and the more I read on-line. I am convinced this is Bi-polar. The key thing that was confusing was the lack of symptons before January Last year. However, the more I talk to Friends and Family and we do the remeber when... there were signs just on a much lessor scale so nobody thought to much.

He had a major episode in his late teens, where he cut all his familiy off and suddendly left his live in girlfriend after raging in there apartment. I didn't even know he had lived with someone before me.... His mom had not thought about it in years and it just occured to her lately.

Like I said, he's been moody all 12 years, just not in extreams.

Last night he went on a rage at his parents house, yelling and throwing stuff in the basement of their house. He was on the phone with somone talking very loud and fast (I am Guessing his female friend from work, but that's just a guess). I only know this cause him mom asked me what i said to set him off last night...

When I am dealing with just the Idea that he is sick, I think I can wait it out... But the Idea that he must have feelings for this other person makes me ill. does he love her? Am I really nothing to him?

He's home from work "sick" again today. Our son went to spend the afternoon with his grandmother and he barly acknologed him. He has gotton a letter from work stating he's missed to much and is on Probation and yet he's taken off at least three days that i know of in the last two weeks.
Posted 10/3/2007 10:59 PM (GMT 0)
oh and WCC. I will take any direction you can point me too... I have been looking on the net non-stop and considering purchasing some books...

But what i would really like is a When he feels like this... do this manual..... I know that's probably non-existent.

What's a Bi- polar action, and what is him just being an @ss. cauce I am sure not everything can be blamed on BP....
Posted 10/3/2007 11:15 PM (GMT 0)
Forgive me please SW, but...sick or not, is this what you want anymore in your life? From the sound of it, he is not looking to get help any time soon no matter what his issues are. You have your kids, your sisters kids currently in crisis that you have to share the workload with your older sister about, work, caring for yourself (as he sure isn't going to)...etc. Seems to me all that comes first and has earned the right to be first with you. And while I know you work to always address this stuff first, the fact is, your energy is precious and much is wasted at this point on him. I am not saying this from a place of judgment, but concern for you. Our energies are a precious commodity because they do have their limits. When you go beyond them...and you push yourself and push yourself...YOU will suffer when your body eventually breaks down from emotional and physical exhaustion. I don't want to see this happen for you. If it does…then beyond yourself…the kids will suffer because your ability to care for all this will be destroyed and I know you don’t want that. Please consider putting space, distance and perspective between you and him. LFW
Posted 10/4/2007 3:35 AM (GMT 0)
SW-- I will ask of you the same thing I asked of Pouli last week. Go back to your original posting, and read through that thread. Refresh some of the perspective you had gained.

There is no manual that tells you "this is just bipolar, this is him being a jerk" because there's no way to tell. But I can tell you this. A man in the throes of a bipolar episode is still a sane man. Unless your husband is paranoid, delusional or suicidal and needs to be taken to the hospital, then he is in control of his thoughts and actions and still responsible for them. Bipolar can make responsible choices harder, but it doesn't make them impossible. He is CHOOSING to live his life this way: lying to you, manipulating you. How long are you going to put up with it, making excuses for him? Bipolar patients absolutley can be relatively healthy and mainain healthy lives. *raises hand.* (Exhibit A. )
Posted 10/4/2007 9:22 PM (GMT 0)
I'm diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and I have DEFINITELY had the mania ANGER. I VERY RARELY ever have a manic episode where I'm just overly optimistic, hyper, and happy. Its mostly just fits of rage and anger where I end up verbally abusing those around me and saying very mean and hurtful things. And ANYTHING can set me off. Just someone walking into a room can set me off. It's just like a switch that flips in my head somewhere and I can't do anything to stop it. Even when I realize I'm being ridiculous and try to rationalize things and calm down, it doesn't work. the anger is just UNCONTROLLABLE. While I've never been in a fistfight in my life with anyone other then my sister, I usually end up taking my anger and hatred out on myself. I've had a serious problem with self injury for many years that I haven't been able to kick. I have a deep self loathing complex, even when its stupid, and I know I'm being stupid, I can't control my thoughts and actions in these states.
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