I can't stand it anymore

Olivia, I'm so glad you have folks here that understand and will have words of encouragement for you.

I am so proud of you for recognizing this now and not further down the spiral.

You are an ongoing encouragement to so many here, I pray that you and your doc can get on top of this one with a med change/add or whatever is needed.

You are an important person, and from what I've read here, you think so also.

-nev

Oh yes, I am from the fibro board and have read here lots the last few months, as I am caring for my BP friend to transition her from hospital to apartment. I have learned a lot from you and others here.

Olivia,

I am hangin' right in there with you hun.  Ugh, I am totally angry at this illness right now.  My episodes are completely out of control and I am angry that b/c of that, I have to go back on meds.  I am angry that a lot of us are struggling so much with our symtpoms right now.

I know exactly how you are feeling right now.  My depression finally lifted yesterday, and I got some stress lifted today, but I still feel like I'm right on the edge...I feel like this could change at any minute.  Totally unstable, totally awful.

I am so sorry that you are feeling like this.  My advice to you dear Olivia...Do something relaxing and soothing to help calm yourself.  Take things slow and take extra care of yourself.  I too lost my appetite, but try to eat a little bit of something.  Call your pdoc.  And if they won't return your call, take serafena's advice and go there in person and "park it" in the waiting room.  This is urgent. 

We are all here for you, completely.  Please update us and let us know how you're feeling and what's going on.  (((((Big supportive hugs)))))

Olivia, I am sending you massive HUGS and encouragement. Hang in there chicklet!!!!!!!!!!!! You know what you have to do to make it through this feeling. Take a deep breathe and don't FIGHT your reality in life. Re-accept this again and ride the horse in the direction it is going, then you can steer it where YOU want it to go. BREATHE....Remember; a feeling is just a feeling unless YOU give it more power. LFW

Olivia,

I'm so sorry to hear you're not feeling happy. It's just so dehumanizing, isn't it. But you're a good person and you'll be fine. Here's a ((((hug)))). Hang in there.

Hey Olivia,

How you doin? It sounds like most of us are in a funk. Maybe it's the shorter days and longer nights!

I hope you're feeling even a little better since your last post. I hope things go well for you with your new therapist. I know you had so much on your mind. Has any of those issues gotten any better?

I hope today brings something good for you!\

((((HUGS))))

Hi all,

Went to meet with a new therapist today, as usual he was a man but that's okay.  We talked for a while, but he is not going to be my regular therapist.  I am finally going to have a woman therapist, yeah!  I am still feeling really down, so we talked about things I can do to ensure me being and staying safe.  It felt good to have someone I just met care so much about my well being.  It has been a struggle, but I have been getting support from my best friend, and that has helped a little too.  I guess it has been hard not getting support from my family, they don't believe in BP at all.  I am still hanging in there.

Olivia: Just so you know, I too have been experiencing some of your symptons lately, specifically the severe depression and, craving caffeine . It's a yucky spot to be in. But hopefully engaging like you are in this forum will help pull you through to a better spot.

Olivia,

I'm right there with you as well.  I hope so much that we are all feeling better soon.  I am really getting tired of this depression.  I am glad to hear that you are getting a woman therapist.  I have exhausted all my options for counselling where I live.

Anyway, I am sending you hugs; take care of yourself right now.  It will pass.

Olivia,   I'm just checking in with you to see if you are feeling even a little better; I sure hope you are.  I am glad for you that you are getting a woman therapist.   But I am so sorry that your family doesnt believe in BP, that makes it so much harder because of the lack of support that we BP sufferers so badly need.   You're a great woman who is always so helpful to others.  We'll support you and help you get through this tough time because we love and care about you.  Remember, you have a ton of support from the wonderful Healing Well Family, even though not from your own family.    Gentle (((((Hugs))))).   Luvs, Wen

Dear Sweet Olivia,   I am so sorry that you aren't doing so good.  I understand why you don't want or feel you can't go to the hospital now - maybe it's an option you can still think about in another week or two.  But in meantime, please do what you said you would do - make a follow up appointment.  YOu really, really do need to talk to someone and need to sleep.   Have you been unmotivated any time before?  If so, what did you do to get out of it?  I know you're really busy right now, but maybe you can take a a short time each day to do something you like to do?  A hobby?  If you do, maybe just 30 minutes or so each day will help-it's just a thought.  You probably don't have time and can't do it.   I don't know what else to suggest to you Olivia, but I sure hope that you can get out of this rut very soon and get your "normal" life back.  Do any of us have "normal" lives?  Please keep us up to date on how you are doing.  You know that we are here to support and help you in any way we can, even if it's just for you to vent.  We care and love you.   Many (((((Hugs))))) and prayers to get better coming your way.   Luvs, Wen

I am also going to group 4 X a week for 3 hr sessions it seems to help.

Olivia,

Hang in there my dear. Don't look too far ahead, just focus on the moment, the day, and get through that. With the new job, school finishing, new therapist...there is plenty of reason to trigger things. Just work to breathe and take it a step at a time. Be kind to yourself and keep your support around you. Do what you need to in order to TAKE CARE OF YOU. You will get through this. I hope your thanksgiving went well and for the next few weeks things can level off for you so the rest of the season is enjoyable. Just DON"T load too much on your plate...it is okay when things are rough to take it easier on yourself for a bit until you gain your bearings again. But...when you lighten your load, be sure to fill it up with POSITIVE, ENJOYABLE things instead of blank boredom that leaves too much time for you to spend in your head messing with yourself. Take care...LFW