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How's Mogli?

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Bipolar Disorder
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Posted 2/2/2008 3:45 AM (GMT 0)
Hey Mogli,

We haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing?

serafena
Posted 2/3/2008 12:35 AM (GMT 0)

Hi everyone,

Serafena, thanks for thinking of me.  I have not been doing well at all (big surprise).  It's really been affecting me this past week.  I have muscle tension in my shoulders and neck like I've never experienced before.  I am feeling a tremendous amount of stress.  It's coming at me from all directions.  Home life is stressful with my bf...still so much yelling and anger in arguments.  I finally sought counselling for abused women.  I don't like the thought, but I just can't stand being yelled at.  I'm feeling guilty all the time at home, and deep down I know that's wrong.  I'm not doing anything that I should be feeling guilty about.  To top it all off, I have been in a depression since before the holidays.  I was starting to feel better about a week and a half ago, but then crashed again.  I don't think the Lamictal is working yet.  I'm just got to 200mg, so we'll see about that.  My pdoc has been great.  There's also a lot of stress with school right now.  And also, I have been overwhlemed with housework.  I've tried asking my bf to do some things, but he seems to get really irritated with it, which I don't appreciate.

Throughout this past week, my bf has noticed just how stressed I am and he's tried to be there for me.

It's just all a lot to handle.

Overwhelmed is the best way to describe how I am feeling.  I'll post again tomorrow or this week.  I appreciate the reach out.  I am sorry I've been so quiet lately.  I really am here for all of you.

Many hugs,

Mogs

Posted 2/3/2008 4:59 PM (GMT 0)
Don't worry about us. You take care of yourself. If anything, you can reach out to us when you need a little help or reassurance that you're going to be okay. I'm so sorry you've had to take the step of looking for help for abused women, but I hope it will help you find some clarity and help you define what you will and won't put up with from your bf. He sounds like a good man, but I want him to be nicer to you. I hope the higher dose of Lamictal kicks in and helps out soon so school won't feel so overwhelming -- it's always a little overwhelming, but it probably feels especially so right now. Try and let go of the housework a little bit or --yes -- let the bf do it, whether he likes it or not. It's really a lowish priority. Things feel more chaotic when I'm depressed so I always feel like I have to clean and clean, and then I never get anywhere. It's an illusion. I don't have to. Letting go a little will help you feel a little less stressed, if you can do it. I know this is easier said than done.

In any case, here's big cyber (((((hugs))))) for you. Feel better soon. Write when you feel like it.

serafena
Posted 2/3/2008 8:30 PM (GMT 0)

I am sorry you are going through a rough time right now.  But I am glad you have reached out for help, I wish you did not have to deal with such behavior from your bf, but maybe this will help you see what you do not and should not put up with.

I hope those meds start working soon, and remember we are always hear to vent to, even if you are just having a bad day.

Posted 2/4/2008 3:15 PM (GMT 0)
smurf  Hi Mogli,

 

(((HUGS))) - I'm sorry to hear stress has been overwhelming you. I know what it feels like when you can feel all the tension in your neck & shoulders. Do you think your bf could help you out with a massage in those areas? Also, I have a long bean bag that I can pop in my microwave, it heats up, I can wrap it around my neck & shoulders and that helps a lot! You could do the same thing with a damp hand towel. Just pop it in the mic for a quick minute or less and test that it's warm enough or not too hot.

 

I'm glad you and your pdoc have a good relationship. Continue to keep him updated on all that you have been going thru and feeling!

 

Hope you start to feel better soon. Hang in there kiddo. We are all here for you, whenever you need us!

Posted 2/9/2008 3:04 PM (GMT 0)

Thank you all so much for your support (much needed).

I have another appointment with my support worker this week and with my new counsellor.  Bf and I have had a few more fights so...it will be good to talk about that. 

I'm starting to realize that this depression I'm in is a major episode.  I think initially it was triggered by all of the holiday stuff, then with all of the other stressors, it has made it worse.  It's been at least 2 months now, no relief.  I am confused about the Lamictal b/c I've had so much stress I am wondering how on earth it could even work anyway?...

Anyway, thanks again for everything.  Every single hour is such a struggle for me right now.

Posted 2/9/2008 7:40 PM (GMT 0)
Oh, dear Mogli, hang in there. I hope you're telling your psych all this as well. It may be that the Lamictal can't keep up right now and you need some extra help for a while. It sounds awful. I read what you wrote to Dutchie as well, and it sounds so frustrating, doubting your bf and doubting your own ability to make judgments. But it will get better. Just keep talking to your counselor and your psych. They will help you as best they can. As will we. We've got BIG ears.
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